Gravity
by yesterdayslorrae
Summary: The third installment in the Leighton Saga. Will she ever return to Forks and patch it up with Jacob? Will the Cullens ever return. Has she altered SM's Twilight beyond recognition? Who won't survive? Reviews appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**Gravity**

_The dedication of this series (so far) is split three ways; _

_Evasive Darkness is for my family. You are all equally retarded, hilarious, embarrassing and amazing. I love you so much. _

_Full Moon is for dad. Whose absence has gone through me. I don't forget you. _

_And this one is for Ray. I want you to know that you're my light when the entire world has gone dark. I'd take on the whole world for you. _

_

* * *

  
_

_Please forgive me if I seem forward  
But I've never been in front of anything like you  
It's the last place I ever thought I'd be  
When I woke up this morning  
Is it true that you're always this breath-taking?  
And you're smart and you're willing  
My God this is killing me  
Tell me all the things you never said  
We could lie here and talk for hours in my bed_

_Take me with you  
I will never let you down  
I will love you now and forever_

**Secondhand Serenade "Take Me With You."**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter One**

"Hey! Leighton!" I looked up from where I was searching in my bag for my car keys as I walked out the door from work. I was covered in food scraps and I was tired. I had been working two jobs to pay the rent of my ridiculously expensive one bedroom flat. It was Harry who was talking to me. He was an exceedingly average boy about my age who had taken a liking to me since I moved to Seattle about a fortnight ago. He smiled as he held the front door open for me. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out now that you've finished your shift?"

He looked at me nervously as I concentrated on the bottom of my bag for a moment later. I smiled when my hand wrapped around that rusted key. "Harry, you ask me this every night."

"That's because you haven't said yes yet." It was simple to him. He wasn't even a bad guy. He was nice. He worked hard and was polite. He just didn't understand that I didn't want to make any friends here. I was just waiting until I could stop coming here all together. I had been living a double life for the past year and a half. I went to sleep in my normal life and I woke up here. I went to sleep here and I woke up back home. Well, that wasn't entirely correct. I use to wake up in Forks, WA. I used to dream I was in the Twilight novels. But I left that behind and I was determined to not think about it.

"Well I'm busy tonight Harry," I told him as I walked towards my car. I had forsaken my old Volkswagen beetle and I was now driving and 87' Ford. If it could still be called a car since it barely ever started. Much to my annoyance Harry followed me to my car and he leant casually against the driver's side door, blocking my get away.

"You will say yes to me one day. You know that right?" He smiled at me knowingly. I pushed him out of the way so that I could unlock my door.

"No I wont," I told him as closed the door. I was relived when my car started with out any issues and I roared out of the parking lot.

Seattle wasn't that bad. I lived in Columbia City and after a while you got use to the noises in the night. A car alarm would go off or a siren would wail. It wasn't quiet like Forks. It was also big and I didn't know a single soul. I went to work and then I went to work again. By the time I got home I could go to sleep and slip back to Hudson. I wasn't happy but I was living.

My apartment wasn't exactly the most desirable. It had one bedroom and one bathroom and a small kitchen and living room space. I didn't bring many possessions with me from my house in Forks and I hadn't bought much furniture so I slept on a mattress and I sat on the floor. I didn't eat much but if I got hungry I ate take –out or two minute noodles.

It fitted what I needed, even if the stains on the carpet freaked me out a little.

As soon as I walked in the front door I began to take off my dirty work clothes. I had accidently spilt someone's meal on myself and on top of getting yelled at by that manager the food had now somehow crusted into something that resembled dog vomit.

"Please, Leighton. I did not need to see that!"

I jumped at the familiar deep voice and I pulled my shirt back over my chest as I swirled around towards the kitchen. Standing in front of the open fridge door, spotlighted by the light, was a large Quileute boy. He had short dark hair and had the incredible physic that would be envied by men everywhere. He was wearing an amused expression as he chuckled at my reaction.

"Embry!" I hissed as I turned and pulled the shirt back over my head. "Go home! Get out of my house!"

Embry looked around my small lounge room and grinned. "House? Could you even call it that? It's a shoe box. And is not having any furniture a new decorating technique?"

"It makes the room look bigger." I said through clenched teeth and Embry shrugged and turned and went back to examining the contents of my fridge. "I told you the last time you came Embry. I'm not going back to Forks. So you could you please leave." I pointed to the door but Embry wasn't looking at me. "And don't come back." I added, and I hoped he didn't notice my throat tighten. I had the flu.

"Honestly Leighton. What do you eat? You couldn't possibly have been living off one egg and a packet of two minute noodles." He looked up from the fridge and looked me up and down. "Or on second thoughts maybe you have been."

"Embry. Stop ignoring me. How did you even find me?"

Embry chuckled. "_How did you even find me?_" Embry laughed under his breath. "Did you somehow forget that I can morph into a giant werewolf and have super human eye sight, smell, speed and strength?"

I shook my head at him. He was incredibly frustrating. The sooner he realised that I was not going back to Forks the better. I had tried to talk to him rationally about this a hundred times before. He was forcing me to be a monster to him. "I'm going to get changed and I'm hoping you will be gone by the time I come back. You know where the door is."

I shut my bedroom door and quickly got changed into the only pair of clothes I had that weren't work clothes, my favourite sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt. Not surprisingly, Embry was perched on my kitchen bench waiting for me. He was only wearing a pair of cut off jeans. I could tell by the look on his face that he thought this was funny.

"What do you do in this place? It doesn't even have anywhere to sit down."

"I sleep here, Embry. Could you please just get this over with?" I was sick of listening to his small talk. It was hard to put Forks into the small box I had put it into when a piece of it was sitting in my kitchen.

"Do you want to go and get some food or something? We could go out for dinner. You look pretty skinny Leighton." Embry reached out like he was thinking out touching me but he quickly pulled his hand away and instead ran it through his hair.

"No,"

"You haven't even asked me. I've come and visited you five times and you haven't even asked me."

I didn't have to ask what he was talking about. The look on his face told me. He was talking about Jacob Black.

"I didn't ask you to come here, Embry."

"I guess it was for the best anyway. I couldn't have told you how he was. Somewhere in Canada at last look –"

"What?" I cut him off. He seemed pleased at my reaction. "He's not in Forks?"

"No," scoffed Embry. "Did you really expect him to stay? For the first week we all looked for you. He was convinced something bad had happened to you. But then we found the note and we realised that no one had dragged you off."

He paused for a moment as I determinedly focused on a particularly nasty stain on the carpet. I remember the note I had hastily written when I decided to leave Forks.

_Jake. Don't look for me. It is better this way. I love you. I'm so sorry._

"What's he doing in Canada?" I tried to keep my voice steady; not interested.

"Looking for you," I frowned. Jacob never listened to anything I told him.

"He thinks that you would have gotten as far away as possible. But I knew better. I knew that if you managed to leave you still wouldn't be able to go far away."

I continued to look at the carpet. I decided that the stain was either blood, red wine or cranberry juice. "Tell him to come home. Tell him to stop looking."

"He won't stop looking. He wants you to come home. We all do. What are you even doing here Leighton? This is stupid."

I felt frustrated at his lack of understanding. Why couldn't he just accept that I wasn't supposed to be in Forks? Why did everyone have to fight me with every step that I took? It was hard enough fighting the part of me that wanted to stay in Forks.

"I don't expect you to understand. But could you just get Jake home to Forks? Just don't tell him where I am."

"Sure,"

"Sure?"

"Yeah. Sure. Ill try anyway. The pack wants him home as much as you do. But what do you want me to tell Bella? She's like a zombie these days. First the blood sucker leaves, which I'm not complaining about, but then you leave as well. You didn't even say goodbye. What should I tell Charlie while I'm passing messages around? Surely you've seen all the posters he's stuck up everywhere. He's put them up in every city on Washington peninsula."

I looked at the ground as Embry continued with the list of everyone I had hurt. I didn't mean to hurt so many people. It only showed me that I had hung around to long already. I should have left the first day I arrived, or I shouldn't have meddled in their lives. I should have left everything alone. I had seen the posters Charlie had put up around Seattle. I had to pull one off the door of the restaurant where I worked. "_Have you seen this girl?_" was printed in bold along the top of the page. Underneath it was a candid picture of me that Bella snapped at her Birthday last year. I was smiling at something off screen, probably Emmett. I was surprised that Edward had left this photo when he would have cleared out Bella's pictures. I could clearly see the Cullen's living room in the background. Surely, that was a reminder of them.

"Leighton?" Embry asked pointedly and I wasn't aware that he had asked a question.

"Don't tell anyone else anything. Just get Jacob to come home, it's where he belongs."

"And where do you belong?"

I paused for a moment. I thought that this was a good question. "I don't know anymore,"

"Do you want me to tell you?" Embry asked, his voice was softer now, less accusing. I looked up at him. He was staring down at me intently.

"No thanks. I'll figure it out for myself."

"So there's been no sign of the Cullens then? They haven't come back to Forks?"

Embry made a low growl in the back of his throat. "No! And good riddance I say. I hope those leeches never come back. Why?"

I shrugged and passed it off as general interest, but I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing over the front page of the newspaper that lay on the floor.

DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY.

"Leighton!" I looked up from the dress I was holding and Eleanor shook her head in frustration. "Don't even try to tell me that the dress was so captivating that you ignored me!" she placed her hands on her hips and looked terrifyingly like our mum. I shrugged weakly. I had let my thoughts drift back to Forks for a moment. I had promised myself that I wouldn't think about it while I was in the real world. I had other, more important, things to think about; like helping Eleanor pick out a dress for her junior prom.

"You look so beautiful in that one," I smiled as Eleanor did a turn for me. This dress was probably the hundredth that she had tried on and looked great in. I was running out of compliments. On the rack the bright red and black stripes were distracting and just a little bit too loud for my taste but on Eleanor it wrapped around her body and drew the eye to her small curves. It was short and the back was low cut but it did have full coverage of the chest area. I decided it was a fair compromise.

"Do you think it's too rock star?" She asked, checking out her bum in the mirror. I wished I had inherited her small frame, or her motivation to exercise. I didn't know where she got it from. I loved my mum, and that was lucky because there was more of her to love, but looking at her was like looking into a mirror and seeing myself in 30 years. It was only slightly terrifying.

"No. It's just the right amount of Hollywood." She smiled at me broadly and I knew that she had finally set her heart on something. "Get changed and I will go and pay for it." I told her quickly before she could change her mind. If she did we would probably just spend the next five hours looking and then come back and get the same one anyway.

"So, you and Jacob haven't made up yet?" Eleanor asked tentatively on the way home. I pursed my lips and concentrated on the road ahead. I didn't want to talk about it and the last time I had checked Eleanor didn't want to hear about it either. I knew that she still hadn't quite forgiven me for forgetting her birthday. I hadn't forgiven myself either.

"No,"

"Are you going to go back?"

"No Eleanor. Let's talk about something else. I'm sure you haven't told me everything about this boy who is taking you to prom." I did a smooth change onto the only subject Eleanor couldn't resist talking about. Even though I was sure that she definitely had told me everything about him.

For a moment Eleanor looked as if she might resist my subject change and I saw on her face her realisation that this was what she had asked me for. She couldn't exactly take it back when it had come at such a cost.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"I have one pumpkin risotto and one beef lasagne," I smiled automatically at the customers as they told me who owned which meal. They were a young couple. By the way the girl laughed nervously and the boy chatted constantly I guessed it was their first date. But when he thought the girl wasn't looking the boy, who had amazing green eyes, looked at the girl like she was the most beautiful person on the planet. It made me feel incredibly happy and incredibly sad. I wondered what would happen to them in the future. Would they get married and love each other until the day they died? Or would it slip through their fingers?

"Why do you keep watching table three?" I jumped as Harry whispered in my ear.

"I wasn't watching them," I grumbled as I found some receipts to stack. "I was just making sure they were enjoying their meals."

"Sure you were," shrugged Harry as he lifted up his guitar. The manager had finally giving him a half promotion and decided to let him play some live music in the restaurant. "Really you were watching them because you were thinking about love, which made you think about me and how you want to hang out with me after work tonight."

I couldn't help but smile at his hopeful, yet misplaced, optimism. It would have been endearing if it wasn't so annoying. "I'm not going to hang out with you tonight." I told him through gritted teeth as the chef handed me another meal to take out.

"Sure you're not," he said doubtfully and he flashed me a cheeky grin as he headed up to the makeshift stage.

As I placed the meals carefully down on the table the bell on the front door jingled as someone entered. I looked up to greet them but I felt the smile fall from my face. My heart stopped beating. I was sure that a million years past before I took a breath.

Jacob was standing at the door. He was wearing a pair of dirty cut off sweat pants and he was thin. He was still muscular but somehow his muscles didn't seem full. His face was drawn and his dark eyes were searching as they found mine.

I straightened myself up. I had known that this moment would come eventually. In my heart I knew that I would have to say goodbye to Jacob's face for him to believe it. I had practised it my bathroom. I had imagined this very moment. But already it wasn't like I imagined. I didn't imagine wanting to sink into his skin. Already I felt like I was threatening to come undone.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen," Harry began to speak into the microphone. I wondered how I could get away quickly to talk to Jacob. I wondered if I wanted to.

"This first song that I'm going to sing for you tonight is called _As Lovers Go," _Harry powered on. He hadn't seemed to notice that I had stopped breathing. I noticed a few girls turned to stare at Jacob "And it is for a very special lady in my life. She's just over there. Smile Leighton."

I turned abruptly from Jacob at the mention of my name. I felt my anger beginning to bubble over as Harry smiled triumphantly and began to play some chords on his guitar.

"_She says 'I've got to be honest, _

_You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here.'_

_I said 'You must be mistaken. I'm not fooling. _

_This feeling is real.'" _

Harry's voice was husky and rough when he sung. But I wasn't paying any attention to him. I turned back to Jacob but his face was turned towards Harry. I could see his jaw clenched tightly as he watched him. I wanted to shout at Harry to shut up. I wanted to tell him to stop singing right this instant. I turned back to Harry. It was just for a second. I just wanted to gather my murderous thoughts.

"_This is easy as lovers go,_

_So don't complicate it by hesitating." _

I turned back to Jacob. I was ready to tell him that I wanted him to go home and leave me here. That I loved him more then breathing. That I still wanted him. But when I turned back to him the door way was empty. I didn't even here the door open again. I had only turned away for a second. But a second was all it took. He was gone.

"That guy who came in tonight. He stopped you in your tracks." Harry took another sip of his Coke as he lent back against the wall. We had closed up the restaurant together but neither of us seemed to be in a hurry to leave. Harry was sitting on the floor slouching casually against the wall as I lay down on a bench seat. It was warm inside and smelt like herbs and leather. I knew Harry was talking about Jacob. I had seen him open his mouth like he was going to ask about it all evening, ever since I had reacted to his song by running out of the restaurant to look for Jacob. There was no sign of him.

"I wouldn't describe it as being stoped in my tracks," I disagreed quietly.

Harry scoffed. "Sure. What would you call it then?"

I paused for a moment. What would I call it? Harry laughed triumphantly. "He's something to you." It wasn't a question.

"He's everything," I told him certainly. I wasn't use to feeling so conflicted. I knew that Jacob was the one for me. I knew it with more certainty then I had ever felt anything. I just couldn't be with him. I couldn't watch myself ruin his life. I wanted his life to be how it was supposed to be; without me.

"Then why isn't he living here with you? Why do you live alone?" Harry asked curiously. He had his head back now and his eyes closed. He was easy to be with.

"It's complicated. It just wasn't working out." Complicated. That was an understatement. How could I possibly explain it to Harry with out him locking me away? _Jacob is a werewolf, my best friends are his werewolf brothers and my human best friend's boyfriend is a charming vegetarian vampire. _

Even in my head it seemed confusing.

"But if he means so much to you why would you let that walk away?"

"I walked away,"

"Why?" Harry sat up now and looked at me intently. He looked appalled at my decision to leave.

"Imagine the girl of your dreams," I told him impatiently. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. A dreamy smiled crossed him face.

"Ok so I'm picturing Angelina Jolie."

"Be serious," I snapped at him and he grinned without opening his eyes. "Imagine the girl that is everything you want. She is smart, funny and beautiful. She is the love of your life. You don't want anyone else. She is it. Got it?"

"Yep. She's walking around my head now. Megan Fox"

I shook my head and lay back down on the soft seat. "Now imagine if you could have her but you could only ever have her for a year. That is all the time you get. But alternatively you could not know her at all. What would you pick?"

"Easy. I'd pick to have her for a year. What's this mean? Is that guy dying or something?"

I laughed but it didn't reach my heart. "You haven't been dumped before, have you?"

I looked over at Harry who blushed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. "I haven't had a girlfriend before."

I paused for a moment to consider this. It seemed unlikely to me. He was funny, talented and good looking. I thought he would be fighting the girls off.

"Well then, let me tell you that if you had ever lost someone you loved you would pick to not know love at all."

"Are you serious? Why would you pick that?"

"If you know the greatest love of your life and then it's gone you will spend the rest of your days missing it, wanting it again. You might try for another relationship but nothing else will ever compare to it. You will have one year of the greatest love of your life but in payment for that you will have a lifetime of loneliness. If you never knew them then you won't ever know what you missed out on. You will fall in love with someone else. It might not be the love of your life but you won't ever know the difference. You could be happy."

"So you're saying that you wish that you never met that guy who came in tonight?" I paused for a moment. I hadn't ever considered this. What would my life be like if I had never come to Forks? Would it be better?

"I didn't get a choice,"

"You know what I would ask for?" Harry sat up eagerly and I looked at him sceptically.

"What?"

"If I could only have the greatest love of my life for a year then I would want her the year before I died. Then I would be happy my whole life and die even happier."

I laughed at his almost childish optimism. I hoped whatever girl he gave his heart to she looked after it.

"Embry!" I screamed as I walked from the bathroom to my bedroom and saw him sprawled on my mattress. I was glad that I wore a towel this time. "You have to stop turning up here unannounced!"

"Would you let me in if I announced myself?" He asked as he stretched his golden arms behind his head. I clucked my tongue impatiently. He always had to joke around.

"Jacob came here the other night," I told him and he didn't look surprised. I instantly felt my anger boil over. "You couldn't have just left me alone could you Embry? Why did you have to tell him! I wasn't ready to see him. He turned up at my work! It was a bad time he saw –"

"Hey. Calm down Leighton. Don't get your knickers in a knot. I didn't tell him you were living here." Embry jumped up and took a mocking step away from me. A grin was playing on his lips and it was driving me insane. "I know what he saw too,"

"How?" I demanded.

"Let me explain to you how we can read each others minds," he laughed as he went cross-eyed and made a face. It would have been funny at any other time. Maybe if we were hanging at Emily's house with the rest of the pack.

I would have said, "Remind me again why you don't have a girlfriend. Hang on that face did it."

And Quill would have replied, "Don't deny that you can look at anyone besides me, Leighton."

Jared would have watched laughing while Sam would have pretended he was above their school boy jokes. Paul would have tried to fight someone.

But I wasn't at Emily's with the rest of the pack. I was in Seattle. Alone – or at least trying to be.

"I thought that Jacob was blocking you from his thoughts," I demanded. This was supposed to be the reason why no one knew where he was. He was spending all day everyday concentrating on the ground under his feat.

"He was," Embry started and his voice wavered slightly. I knew instantly he was keeping something from me.

"Just spit it out, Embry."

"Jacob came home the other day." I stared at him a moment. I didn't see what he was so nervous about. This was a relief. This was what I wanted.

"Good," I nodded a little too enthusiastically. "That's good." I looked up at Embry who was now looking like this was the very opposite of good. He looked like he might be sick.

"This is good," I told him firmly and he nodded slightly. His dark eyes looked troubled. "What's wrong?"

Embry shrugged and made a weak attempt at a smile, "So you're not coming back?"

"No," I said instantly. There was no waiver in my voice. I surprised myself at how convincing it sounded.

"Well you don't have to let it bother you then. I guess I'll be getting back to Forks then," I paused for a moment. Embry leaving without being pushed out the door was peculiar.

"Ok..."

"I won't bother you again,"

"Sure," I nodded as he walked to the front door.

"So this is goodbye," he let the words linger in the air between us as he opened my front door. Goodbye. I was used to them by this stage. "Have fun, Leighton."

He reached out one large, warm hand and placed it on my shoulder before he disappeared down the stairs. I opened my mouth to call something out but it was too dry to speak. My shoulder burned where he touched me like a vivid memory. So warm.

I looked down the hall as emptiness filled me. That was the problem with getting what you want. Once you got it, you didn't want it anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_"I'm sinking like a stone in the sea; I'm burning like a bridge for you body."_ – Brand New

Two hesitant yet desperate knocks rang through my apartment as I put down the book I was reading. I was instantly wary. I never got visitors, not the kind that knocked anyway. I slowly pulled myself off my bed and crept to my front door. I tried to look through the peep hole in the door but it was so fogged with god knows what that all I could tell was that my visitor had brown hair, or a brown shirt on, or something brown on their body.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, ready to close it again if the visitor was selling me something that the world didn't need, trying to save my soul, or doing a drug drop.

The person turned away from me as I opened the door, as if suddenly they had changed their mind about visiting me altogether. I instantly recognised the slight frame and long, reddish-brown hair.

"Bella?" I called out and she turned around slowly. She looked devastated. Her eyes were dull and she looked sickly.

"Hi," she said and she bit her bottom lip as if she was as shocked as I was at her sudden appearance.

"How did you find me here?" I asked and I didn't mean to sound so demanding. In truth I felt terribly guilty. She didn't look like she was getting over Edward with Jacob at all.

"Umm Jake came back and he said that you were in Seattle. Embry told me your address."

"Oh," I nodded and Bella and I both looked at our feet as if somehow they would tell us what we needed to say. "Do you want to come in?" I opened my door further and Bella smiled without it reaching her eyes. She stood awkwardly by my bench as I poured us both a glass of water.

"I'm going through a minimalist phase," I half-heartedly joked as I gestured to my bare lounge room. Bella didn't smile.

"Jacob says you're not coming back,"

I breathed in deeply. "I'm not,"

"Do I smell bad or something?" she asked with all seriousness.

"What? No. Why?"

"Well everyone keeps leaving me," her voice cracked slightly as she looked at the glass she was holding in her slender hands. Her hair cascaded over her face so I couldn't tell if she was crying.

"No, Bells, that's not true. This –" I gestured around the lounge room again. "-wasn't about you. I just needed to get away. I just needed…" I trailed off. I didn't know what I needed.

"Can you do something for me?" she asked softly and I nodded enthusiastically. Anything. "Tell me if he comes back," she looked me straight in the eyes and I could see that this was what she had been holding onto all this time. Not Jacob or the pack, just the thought that I could tell her what he was doing but…

"I don't know, Bella." I said honestly. And it hurt to say it. I really didn't know if he would be coming back.

"Oh," she looked at the floor and her body seemed to have lost its rigidness, its desire to stand up straight.

"And you're not coming back either," she repeated and I looked at the floor. I could feel her gazing at me kindly, trying to understand me.

"No. I can't be there anymore,"

"Don't you love Jacob?" She couldn't keep the questioning out of her voice. I knew this was how it looked to other people. It looked like I didn't love him.

"I do. I love Jacob… bu-" I sucked in my words before they could escape. I couldn't believe I was about to say I love Jacob _but… _but what? But I didn't want to be with him? But it wasn't enough? That didn't seem right. I strengthened my voice. "I do love Jacob."

"So you're not even going to finish school? Don't you want to graduate?"

"No... I just... I don't know anymore, Bella. I don't know what I want or even who I am or where I am going." I sighed and turned to slide down the cupboards onto the hard kitchen floor. "I'm just doing what I can until I figure something out. I'm just getting myself through this. I'm just making it to tomorrow. I'm completely lost. I don't know what I'm doing here, what made me leave Forks. All I know is that I was sure it was the right thing to do. What else do I have if I don't hang on to that?"

Bella walked around the counter and slid onto the floor next to me. She leant back against the cupboard exposing her pale throat. I could see what Edward found so enticing about it. It was delicate; beautiful. She was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen.

"I know how you feel. It's how I feel without –" She seemed to choke for a moment. As if his name was strangling her. Her eyes glazed over like she was in pain. "I feel that without Edward. I feel that without you. I feel like I don't even recognise Forks anymore. Edward said it would be like he never existed. But I _need_ to know he existed. Please come back. You're the only person who can remind me that he was real."

There was such pleading in her voice that it saturated me. I was swimming in it.

"Jacob knew that he existed. He could remind you." I suggested only half-heartedly. It seemed clear to me that Bella and Jacob just didn't seem to be moulding in the way that they were supposed to.

Bella seemed to make some sort of growl in her throat. "Jacob really needs you to come back as well,"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "He said that?"

She shrugged, "Actions speak louder than words."

I suddenly felt like I was missing something. Embry had been very mysterious about Jacob the last time we had spoken and now Bella was acting the same way.

"What is he doing?"

"Come back and you will see for yourself," She challenged me. She was so lifeless when she had first arrived I felt guilty taking her hope away from her.

"I can't Bella... I have a job here. Two jobs, actually. I couldn't just go back." My excuses were weakening and Bella knew it. She was suddenly smiling defiantly.

"Leighton, you inherited millions from your mum. So money isn't an excuse. Charlie wants you to come back."

"What would everyone think if I just walked right back into town after disappearing?"

"All of the important people would be happy and we don't even like anyone else anyway! I'm sure they will barely notice..." She forced a smile but she didn't even look like she had convinced herself. She looked slightly sick at the thought of our peers. I guessed that they hadn't been too kind to her over the past few weeks either.

I glanced over at the newspaper that was still on my floor. Bella shouldn't have even been here. It was too dangerous. "Edward was supposed to come back," I said surely and I felt Bella stiffen beside me. "But I'm not sure if he will come back on his own now and we need the Cullens to be back in Forks." I told her and I felt her nod weakly at my side. "I think we'll need to find them and bring them back."

"How do we know where they've gone to?"

"I have a few ideas," I smiled mysteriously and tapped my temples. Bella looked hopeful. Her eyes seemed to regain some of their sparkle.

"How are we going to get to where they are?" she asked hurriedly, our plans seemed to give her new energy; new purpose.

"Like you said: I have millions of dollars now. I'm sure that will get us there some how." I was sure of it. I wasn't completely sure of where we were going but I was hoping that maybe Alice could meet us half way. Bella didn't ask me why the Cullens needed to come back to Forks. She thought that they needed to come back because she needed them to come back. I didn't want to tell her what was really going on.

"So you're coming back to Forks?" Bella stood up and offered me her hand.

"I guess I am," I smiled. I wasn't sure of anything but this felt like maybe; just maybe, it was the right thing to do.

* * *

_Jacob was running his hands through his dark hair. It was scruffier than normal. He had let it grow out slightly. He was moving towards me with purpose. He was smiling but his dark eyes were intense with something else. The scene around me seemed to be blurry but I didn't care. I only had eyes for Jacob. He reached out and placed one large, warm hand on my cheek and looked deeply into my eyes like he was searching for something. I tried to focus on him but he seemed to be slipping out of my grip. I wanted to kiss him but I couldn't move fast enough. _

_

* * *

  
_

I broke from my sleep covered in sweat and panting. I was in my bed in Hudson where I had fallen to sleep just an hour ago. I had fallen asleep and not gone into Forks. It had happened. I felt like a rock had just fallen on my chest. I rolled onto my stomach and pushed my head into my pillow to contain my sobs. I wasn't ready to let go of Forks yet. I still had things to do. I had wasted so much time in Seattle when I could have been spending time with the people that I loved and now I wouldn't see them ever again. I tried to breathe steadily but my breaths came in wracking sobs. I couldn't believe it. I wished someone had told me how much time I had left there.

* * *

Somehow my eyes closed again and I found myself looking up at the ceiling of my lounge room in Forks. My chest was still rising and falling with my heavy breathing. What had just happened? I had just had a normal dream. I had gone to sleep in Hudson and not woken up in Forks, but here I was again. Was it a warning telling me that it could all be taken away as quickly as it had come?

Next to me Bella moaned something in her sleep and tossed in her blankets. We had arrived home from Seattle late that night and we had decided to have a sleepover. We moved mattresses into the lounge room and fell asleep instantly.

"Please...don't...I love you...." Bella moaned in her sleep and I could see her cheeks were wet from crying. I leant over and shook her gently.

"Bells wake up. Wake up its morning." Bella groggily opened her eyes and quickly rolled over; I could tell she was wiping her face.

"You were having a bad dream," I told her and she nodded.

"It's always the same one. I'm running through the forest looking for Edward and then I can't even remember what I was looking for..." she shuddered slightly. "It's really sad,"

I nodded. I knew the feeling.

We piled into her old Chevy truck as soon as we were dressed. Charlie had demanded to see both of us before we left for school – I had debated with Bella for an hour about whether or not I would even go back; she had won. We agreed since we needed to get breakfast anyway. I had left my house without taking any of the funeral foods out of the fridge. It wasn't pleasant.

Charlie was waiting for us as soon as we entered the front door. He was standing in the kitchen in his full uniform. His face was set and his mouth was a hard, thin line. He looked quite intimidating for someone so gentle.

"Leighton," he said to me curtly and I nodded quickly. I didn't know what to say. I _had_ seen the posters he had put up everywhere.

"Charlie," I replied. We stared at each other for a moment before Charlie said gruffly.

"Where the bloody hell have you been? I've been worried sick! You just leaving like that without a word to anyone!"

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan." I said politely and he stared at me for a long moment. Bella shifted awkwardly between us.

"Don't let it happen again," he said with a quick nod and then he left through the front door to his cruiser.

"What jus happened?" I asked after a minute of still standing in the same place.

"Charlie isn't good with emotions. He was just feeling relief, anger, excitement, worry and love. I think you might send him into a break down." Bella said wryly as she poured us some cereal. We ate in silence. I was so hungry. Bella looked like she was about to say something but she didn't break the silence.

In the truck on the way to school I felt nervous. My whole body was tingling with nerves. What would I tell people about why I left? What would they say about it? Would they say anything at all? Would the school even let me back in? Questions buzzed through my mind so quickly I didn't even have time to ask Bella one before it was replaced by another. I felt like I was a new student only worse, I wasn't. How much had changed when I was gone?

Bella and I sat in her truck in the empty parking lot for a moment. It was like we were both trying to talk ourselves into getting out. Eventually some more cars began to arrive and I decided I had to get out now to avoid people before class and maybe I would eat my lunch in the toilets.

I slowly got out of the car and avoided the eyes of some younger students as I walked across the parking lot towards the office building. I thought that maybe I should talk to someone about coming back before just arriving back into my classes. I turned back towards the parking lot to give Bella one last reassuring wave. We had decided that we would begin looking for the Cullens on Friday afternoon and we weren't coming back until we found them – or until Charlie dragged us back.

As I turned around something caught my eye. It was a familiar Rabbit and I instantly felt my heart jump into my throat as I saw a huge, copper skinned boy leaning up against the side of it lazily.

I hadn't decided how I was going to tell Jacob that I was back. I just decided that maybe I would arrive at his house and grovel for his forgiveness. Even beg maybe. I wanted to tell him I was sorry – I got lost for a second – but I was back now. I couldn't breathe without him.

Was it possible that he had heard that I was back already? Would Charlie have called and told him. As if I had silently called him Jacob's head turned in my direction and I saw his body language suddenly stiffen as his eyes met mine. He set his jaw but his eyes were unguarded. For a moment his face crumbled before he instantly recomposed it to a blank expression. He stared at me defiantly but just as I took a step forward to go to him someone stepped in front of him and broke our eye contact. He looked down at this small person with mousy blonde hair and he smiled at her. It was his charming smile but it didn't reach his eyes. I heard the girl laugh and I felt my stomach sink and fill with fire at the same time. Jacob didn't look at me as he scooped Lauren up in his arms and pulled her face to his. He kissed her hungrily and I could see the expression of glee and satisfaction on her face. My whole body felt numb. I had woken up in the wrong Forks. This couldn't be possible.

Jacob put Lauren down carefully and held her hand as he led her around to the passenger side of the Rabbit. I could still hear her giggling loudly though I wasn't sure if she was still laughing or if it was just playing in my head like a broken record. I didn't want to stay to watch anymore of this nightmare. Jacob with Lauren. This was ridiculous. I did want him to see someone other than me, but I meant it to be Bella. Not Lauren. This wasn't right. I couldn't feel my body anymore.

What happens when you get everything you want? You don't want it anymore.

"_I'm sinking like a stone in the sea. I'm burning like a bridge for your body."_

_

* * *

_**Hey everyone! Sorry its taken a while to get this chapter up! I've re-written it about a hundred times... I think that it's ended up ok. I hope it isn't too confusing. Forward any questions that you have my like you always do! **

**I hope you are all well and happy =) So have fun. I promise I won't leave you waiting so long for the next one...things are just starting to get juicy! Jacob with Lauren? Urgh. **

**-Lorrae X  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I walked into the class with purpose to my step. My eyes narrowed in on Bella who quickly looked down at her book sheepishly. I tried to ignore the gaze of the whole class as they all looked up from their books to gawp at me. I didn't know what they attributed my disappearance to but the only person who looked pleased to see me was Angela, who smiled at me broadly. Jessica seemed to notice me mid way through an animated conversation with Mike and her smile seemed to freeze and then fall off her face. She quickly turned back to Mike and I saw her very clearly mouth, "Oh my God."

"Miss Summers, how nice of you to join us again." I tried my best to smile at Mr. Mason as he took my late slip but I was on a mission. As soon as he let me pass I stormed determinedly towards where Bella sat. Luckily, the other class members seemed to think she had some sort of contagious disease and all the seats beside her were spare.

Bella didn't look up as I sat down.

"When were you planning on telling me?" I hissed at her furiously as some of the class members hadn't yet turned around to face the front of the room.

Bella shrugged. "Would you have believed me?"

I thought for a moment. I was sure that I probably would have laughed in her face. The idea of Jacob with Lauren was laughable. She would drive him crazy. He hated giggling.

"You still could have said something," I whispered as Mr. Mason glared at me from the front of the room. I pulled my books from my bag but continued to whisper to Bella. Now that I was finally able to feel again I had a lot to say.

"I told you that you had to see it for yourself," she hissed back while furiously taking notes.

"Yeah," was all I could manage as the image of Lauren hungrily kissing Jacob burned its way to somewhere in my chest.

I some how managed to make it through gym and all the way to lunch without really talking to anyone. It wasn't hard considering that most of my old friends seemed to think that my sudden disappearance made me some sort of traitor and while I was away they had formed themselves into a strong anti-Bella/Leighton brigade. Bella liked to refer to it as _us _and _them. _

I found that by lunch time I had managed to convince myself that what I had saw in the parking lot couldn't have been right. I must have misunderstood something; maybe they were practicing for a school play or something. I realised the moment I left Forks that Jacob would see this as a blunt end to the relationship. Maybe I even saw it as that; it was my intention after all. But I didn't expect him to begin dating someone else. And not just anyone, but someone I loathed. I just couldn't get my mind around it.

"Leighton! You're back!" Mike jumped in front of my as I walked in a daze towards the cafeteria. My teachers had loaded me with catch up work and I had no idea how I was going to catch up, or if I had any real desire to. I stared sceptically at Mike's over enthusiastic tone as his smile faltered some what.

"No. I'm actually not. You're having an optical illusion." I said dryly as Mike laughed and fell into pace beside me.

"So where have you been? Did you do everything you needed to do?"

"Everything I needed to do?" I asked, confused. I wasn't aware I needed to do anything.

"Yeah," said Mike, his voice unsure. "I mean you went away because of what happened to your mum right?"

I sighed as I let the tide of sadness wash over me at the mention of my mum, who died just weeks earlier. It felt like years ago. "I just needed some time to clear my head." I didn't particularly want to go into any details with Mike.

"Everyone seemed to think you weren't coming back," he said casually and I shrugged. Mike looked like he was about to probe for more information so I changed the subject.

"So what did I miss when I was away?" It turned out that this was the very last thing that I wanted to ask as Mike dived into an animated conversation about the goings on of Forks high.

"Well the Cullens left the same weekend you did. Strange, right? That caused a few rumours I have to admit. But Bella...." he seemed to struggle for words to describe her. "...Well she...She hasn't been herself since Cullen left. Jessica and Lauren have suddenly gotten too cool for Forks and started spending all there time at La Push."

I felt a knot in my stomach but Mike didn't seem to notice. "But they don't get that those guys must work out all day to get guns like that. They'd never have any time for them...and as far as I could tell they didn't have much time for them at the start. And then your ex came back into town and suddenly he's all they can talk about."

Finally, Mike seemed to notice that I had stopped "Ah-ha ing" in the right spots and he looked at me for a second. "I spoke to that Jacob kid one day when he was waiting for Lauren. I asked where you had gone and he said that it didn't matter because you weren't coming back. I thought it was a bit strange that he was dating so soon but he said it was over a long time ago."

I felt like my heart had stopped beating. Mike began to turn red, like he decided that telling me this was maybe not such a good idea. "Its fine, Mike. What ever Jacob and I had is clearly over." _For him maybe. _

"Ok. Well, you can still sit with us again at lunch. Don't listen to anything the girls might say."

I shrugged. I didn't really care where I sat. I suddenly didn't feel hungry anyway.

Whispers and eyes followed me as I lined up to get a soda. I could see Bella already sitting at the table where every eye was on me.

"She's so skinny," I heard Jessica say not so quietly. "It's gross,"

Ignored this and was tempted to sit away from their glares at the table the Cullen's used to sit at. The students still avoided it as if the Cullen's were still in their seats. But Bella gave me a small, pleading yet reassuring smile. _Us _and _them._

I brought my tray over to the table but as I was about to take the spare seat in between Bella and Angela, Jessica piped up. "Sorry Leighton, that seat is taken."

I looked up at her and she was smiling sweetly at me. "Ok," I nodded and moved to the seat on the other side of Bella. Jessica made a little coughing noise and I heard some of the other girls snigger. The boys all seemed to be looking at something interesting on the floor.

"That one's taken too Leighton," she laughed and Bella's mouth fell open in outrage. I felt a little confused as to what I was supposed to have done to her. The people who I thought had a right to be mad at me were Bella, Jacob and the pack; and Bella had forgiven me. I don't even think she was ever mad at me. I didn't know what was going on at all.

"Ok," I said taking a deep breath. "What's the problem Jessica?"

"Problem?" she asked, pretending to not know what I was talking about.

"Do you have a problem with me sitting here?" I asked as I took a seat next to Bella. Jessica looked outraged.

"Things are different now Leighton. You can't just walk in here expecting everything to change back for you."

"I don't," I said quietly as Angela rolled her eyes and Mike began an awkward conversation with Tyler. Jessica didn't break eye contact with me but I turned away to talk to Bella, who looked amused. I could still feel her glare on me.

"Did I miss Forks High School and accidently go to Forks Pre-school?" I asked her quite seriously and Angela laughed.

"I know! I can't believe you two left me with them!" Angela was brandishing her carrot stick like a sword as Ben nodded enthusiastically next to her.

"I didn't go anywhere," Bella said slowly and Angela suddenly looked embarrassed and concentrated on her tray. Clearly, she thought Bella was just as gone as me.

"Who would have thought the whole world could turn upside down in three weeks?" I mused as Bella nodded, her eyes glazing over slightly. Who would have thought?

Charlie seemed to be overly happy at dinner. Bella and I had made a joint effort at cooking him a roast and Charlie was humming happily as we served it up.

"Is everything alright?" Bella asked suspiciously as she put some potatoes on him plate.

"Sure. Why?" he shrugged.

"You're humming," I told him and he shrugged again.

"Can't a guy hum in his own house?"

"You never hum," Bella pointed out and Charlie stared at us both.

"Can't I just be happy to have you all home?" he asked, embarrassed and I felt my heart swell for Charlie. He was so sweet. Bella looked like she was about to point out to Charlie that she hadn't gone anywhere but she didn't say anything.

There was a knock at the front door. I was feeling happy. I was happy that maybe I was wrong about Forks after all. This was something since I was rarely happy about being wrong. I was happy that Bella and I were soon to go jet setting around the country to bring the Cullen's home. I was happy that I could set something straight. Jacob and Lauren were a bad taste in my mouth.

"I'll get it," I told Charlie and Bella as I nearly bounded out of the chair to the doorway.

"Embry!" I exclaimed as opened the door to reveal a tall, dark skinned boy. His face was serious but his eyes were sparkling. "You're taller," I told him as I gazed up at his face. His head was at the top of the door.

"You're happy," he noted suspiciously, "You haven't seen them?"

I didn't have to ask who _them _was, though I felt my heart fall at the idea that Jacob had joined the _them_ side. "Yeah. I saw them."

Embry looked incredulous; as if I was supposed to be doing something right now.

"What?"

"Why aren't you over there doing something?"

"Doing what?" I shrugged. I think that I could do anything about this; I had made my bed and now I had to lie in it.

"Anything!" Embry exclaimed. I had never seen him this animated. His large, paw like hands were waving around his face.

"Lauren isn't holding Jacob hostage," I told him seriously and he looked at me shocked.

"You haven't seen them together... She is the most annoying person on the planet! Jacob's my brother. I know he couldn't want this."

"You haven't met everyone on the planet," I told Embry seriously. He wasn't telling me anything I hadn't already debated. I was done meddling in Jacob's life. If Lauren was who he wanted then I wasn't going to create more problems for them.

"Be serious Leighton,"

"I am," I told him firmly.

"So you're not even going to fight for him?"

I sighed. "Embry, what would you have me do? Tell him I want him back? Anything I say will only push him closer to her. I love Jacob. I really do...."

Embry opened his mouth and it looked like he was about to argue but I raised my hand to quiet him. "...I really do, Embry. And I don't blame him for not wanting to be with me after how many times we've messed it up. Maybe this is just the end. I love Jacob but that doesn't mean we're supposed to be together."

There is was. I had found the but. The one thing I always knew would drive us apart. We aren't supposed to be together. Not if I stretched my mind to the ends of my imagination. Jacob was supposed to love someone else. It was in his blood.

"So you're just going to leave it alone?" Embry asked and I nodded.

I noted a mischievous look in Embry's dark eyes. "And you will too!" I told him sternly. "This is Lauren we are talking about. Who could possibly stay with her for long?"

Embry laughed in agreement. "True, I feel nauseous every time she speaks."

I laughed. So did I. "So besides the bad choice in company is he OK?"

Embry shrugged, "It's hard to tell. He only phases when he has too. He barely spends any time with the pack anymore. I think he's afraid that he'll let it slip that he doesn't really like Lauren."

"Why is he even doing this then?"

"You know Jake. He doesn't want anyone to think he's suffering."

"You can tell him from me that it is a stupid thing to do."

"I'll pass on the message but it's you that he's doing this for," Embry said quietly, he was now looking at his feet.

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's trying to protect you in his own stupid way. He doesn't want you to hurt over him hurting. He wants you to think that he's moved on so you won't feel bad about doing the same thing,"

I paused for a second, feeling guilty. That was something that Jacob would do. Taking on a burden himself, even if I suspected that he had bitten off more than he could chew with Lauren.

"That is stupid as well," I whispered quietly. "Could you tell him I said that too?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"_  
- Lewis Carroll, _Alice in Wonderland_, Ch. 2

"So…you've gone back to Forks," Eleanor was lying casually on my bed as I altered a pattern I was cutting. She had already tried to start this conversation with me earlier and like usual I ended it by changing the subject back to her. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. I wasn't going to get so absorbed in Forks that I forgot about my real life.

"So have you thought about what you might like to do after school? It's never too early to think about that," I said without skipping a beat. I heard Eleanor groan with frustration.

"No Leighton, I haven't because it is three years away. Could you stop changing the subject please? I want to talk about what's happening in Forks!"

She sounded like a demanding child so I scowled at her. She was looking at me with her large, puppy dog eyes. We had the same shaped eyes but I had never learnt how to work them like she had. I never learnt how to resist them either.

"Eleanor… I'm trying to keep my lives separate from each other…" I said weakly.

"Ok. But you can still tell me about it. I promise I won't offer _any_advice." She sounded so convinced that this would make it ok that I almost believed it myself. But I knew Eleanor had a hard time keeping her mouth shut when she had something to say; and I knew that once I got thinking about Forks, specifically Jacob, I had a hard time stopping.

"Fine," I murmured, "But on one condition."

"Anything," Eleanor agreed eagerly, instantly sitting up straighter.

"You can't tell me I was wrong. I know already, Ok?"

* * *

I came down the stairs after using the shower to find Charlie and Bella at the kitchen table. I was spending as much time as I could at the Swan household but I still had to go home and sleep in my house alone. There just wasn't enough room to live with Charlie and Bella but there was far too much space in my own house now that mum was gone. As soon as Bella drove me home, as my replacement car that I bought in Seattle had died, I felt the enormity of my loss swallow me whole. I didn't resurface until Bella grudgingly came to pick me up at dawn.

I had a slight headache and my stomach felt upset. I knew it was the thought of facing another day at Forks high, and worse still, today Lauren would probably be there, and by now she probably knew that I was back.

As I sat down at the table a powerful wave of nausea hit me and I held my breath until it passed.

"Are you alright?" Charlie asked, "You look pale."

"Yeah I just feel like I might be sick," I told him seriously. "The thought of high school does that to you."

He chuckled and said quietly, "So does pregnancy."

Bella and Charlie both froze for a moment. Bella's mouth hung open slightly but Charlie looked like he was so surprised that this suggestion came out of him that he swallowed his tongue. I laughed at their reactions.

"If it is then we should all take the day off to celebrate," I said dryly and Charlie went bright red at the sudden direction this conversation was taking. He mumbled something that wasn't audible but Bella looked intrigued.

"Why?" she asked

"Well obviously it would be the Immaculate Conception and the saviour has returned!" I laughed and pretended to bow to the table. Charlie frowned deeply and Bella laughed.

"Women," I heard Charlie matter and I pouted at him.

"Don't worry Charlie it was definitely Bella's cooking," I poked out my tongue at her as she looked sceptical.

"You're just mad because I had to save you from destroying dinner," she told me wryly and I shook my head at her as I gathered my school things. Bella had tried her best to catch me up but unfortunately I left just as teachers were giving out lots of new material for the end of the year exams. I had missed all the basics and I didn't pay attention the first time around in Hudson. Paired with the depressing social environment school was looking less and less appealing to me.

"What do you want to do next year?" I asked Bella as we went outside and marvelled at the clear blue sky over head. It seemed a waste of a day to spend it at school.

Bella shrugged. I could tell she desperately wanted to say, "Whatever Edward is doing."

"I dunno," she shrugged again and looked at the ground. "Maybe teach English,"

"Do you know what college you want to go to?" I probed for more information even though Bella was clearly uncomfortable. She fumbled with the keys as she started the truck and as we started driving she griped the wheel so tight her knuckles were white.

"Um...Well...Edward..." she choked out his name. "Edward and I applied for a college in Alaska. But I guess that's not necessary any more...." her eyes glazed over for a moment and I considered taking the wheel off her.

"Don't worry Bells. I know he still loves you. We'll bring him home."

She looked doubtful. "He said he didn't want to be with me anymore," She said quietly. "Why would he say that if it wasn't true?"

"He's just being Edward. He thinks that you're better off without him. Once he realises that you can't live without him everything will be fine."

Bella looked like she was considering this for a moment. She bit he bottom lip. "That sounds like what you did with Jacob," she ventured. We hadn't talked about Jacob since my angry outburst in English. I didn't really feel like talking about it. I just wanted to try to forget.

"It's completely different,"

"Sure," Bella said, letting her scepticism hang in between us. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

Sure enough Lauren was waiting by her car when we pulled into the parking lot. She was trying to casually talk to Jessica but I could see her eyes following the old Chevy as we roared into a park.

"Bella, I don't think I want to go to school." I told her as I we watched Jessica and Lauren turn to face us. They were waiting for us to get out. I wasn't afraid of what they would say to me, but the image of Lauren with Jacob made my body feel like it was on fire. I wanted to avoid anything that reminded me of that.

"Me either, but we have to." She said grimly as she hopped out of the driver's seat.

"No really," I told her as I got out and began to walk towards school. We both ignored Lauren and Jessica who were staring at us intently. "I don't think I want to finish school."

"Yeah," Bella smiled slightly. "What would you do instead?"

"I'm thinking I might start my own fashion line," I said seriously. I suddenly realised that this was something that I had wanted to do for a long time. I loved sewing and I loved designing. All I was waiting for was some experience and some money to get started. I had both now and technically I had already graduated once, even if it wasn't recognised here.

"Sure Leighton. Throw away your future." Bella sounded eerily like my mum and it instantly made the stubborn dragon that lived inside me rear up.

"I can do it, Bella." I told her firmly as Jessica and Lauren started to cut across the park. If we didn't walk faster they would cut off our path to the class room. "Walk faster, Bella." I hissed at her and we both picked up the pace. Suddenly, Bella wasn't beside me anymore and I turned around to see her lying on her stomach on the ground. She had turned bright red.

"What are you doing?" I laughed as she hastily pulled herself up and bushed off her scraped hands.

"Tripped," she mumbled just as Lauren and Jessica reached us.

"Your back, Leighton!" Lauren exclaimed in her falsely sweet voice.

"Obviously," I muttered as I helped Bella to her feet. I noticed that Lauren was wearing a lot of make-up. It seemed to accentuate her beady eyes and horsey teeth

"I just wanted to say that there are no hard feelings, right?"

"Hard feelings about what?" I asked, just as sweet. I didn't know why I was playing along with whatever she was trying to do.

"About Jacob finally waking up and realising that he can do better than you," she smiled broadly as Jessica sniggered under her breath. I groaned. It was actually an anti-climax. I thought that she would have thought up something better than that.

"Lauren!" Bella opened her mouth in shock but then closed it again at Lauren's glare.

"Don't worry Bella. She's just venting because I had Jacob first."

Lauren's cheeks flushed as I tried to navigate my way past her. "You might have had him first but I have him now, which would you prefer Jessica?" she said sarcastically as I grabbed Bella by the wrist and half dragged her towards the office.

"Ouch, Leighton. I can walk on my own." She mumbled as I stormed on. I had my goal in my sights. She tugged her arm out of my grip and stopped. I turned around to tell her to keep moving but her body was convulsing slightly. I felt the colour drain from my cheeks.

"Bella! What's wrong?" I asked shakily but suddenly Bella exploded with laughter. Her whole body was shaking with it.

"What's so funny?" I asked as I folded my hands across my chest. I felt my arm tingle where it was freshly scared from the shoulder to the elbow.

"That – was- so- funny." She managed to gasp between fits of giggles. After a moment she got them under control enough to look at me seriously. "I've got your back if it comes to a dance off." She suddenly began to twist her waist and arms in a way that showed me why she never went to dances. Laughter exploded from my chest as I imagined Lauren and Jessica trying to dance us down. Our antics were so juvenile that it almost seemed possible.

"That was stupid, right?" I finally admitted when we were able to breathe again.

"It was," Bella agreed as we made our way to the office. "What are we here for?" Bella asked as I opened the door.

"You need bandaids," I pointed to her bleeding hands. "And I'm going to drop out of school."

Bella's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. "What?"

"I've thought about this Bella. If I need to I'll come back to education but right now I think I might try my hand at other things."

Bella looked like she was going to argue with me, but her face suddenly turned soft. "Don't leave me with them."

"You have Angela," I told her firmly, I had already thought of this argument. There wasn't long left at school anyway and Edward would be back soon. She would be fine.

"You can't make this decision because you're angry at Lauren,"

"I'm not angry at Lauren." Bella raised an eyebrow. "This really isn't about anything Jacob related. This is just what I want to do Bella."

By now the lady at the counter was staring at us expectantly.

"Can we get some bandaids please?" I asked as Bella held out her bleeding palms.

"Oh, of course dear, go through to the nurse." She waved Bella through to the nurse and I felt my heart begin to hammer harder against my chest.

"Could I please see the principal?" I asked her and she smiled at me kindly.

* * *

The walk home was short and glorious. The sun kissed my skin and I could feel myself fill with its rays. The principal was disappointed with my decision to leave but with my grades and attendance rate so low he said that I would have to have repeated the grade anyway. I was supposed to finish the school day but I didn't want to let such a good day pass. I wanted to get started on my line. Maybe I was being a little too confident in my abilities, but I felt so full of inspiration and direction that I felt like I might take off the ground and fly. After being so directionless for so long knowing what I wanted felt so good.

I paused outside Bella's house as I noticed a lady pushing a sign into the front lawn of the house across the road. It was a nice looking house. It was bigger than the Swan house and my house and it had a big front yard. The sign said _**For Sale**. _

I casually walked over the agent. I had seen her around town before but I had never met her.

"Good morning!" I greeted her and she jumped and clutched her chest.

"Oh, goodness you scared me!" she laughed and then, "I'm so sorry about your mum. I sold her the house. She was a lovely lady."

"Thanks. I miss her a lot." I told her and she looked at me sympathetically. "How many bedrooms is this on?" I asked, casually pointing to the house.

"3 bedrooms and two bathrooms," she said as she looked at me uncertainly. "Is this for a school project?"

"No, I would like to buy it." I told her as her eyes widened. It reminded me of something my mum said about impulse shopping. _If it costs more than $200 sleep on it._ This might have been impulse shopping but I knew that I would still want it tomorrow.

"Excuse me?" the agent asked when she found her voice again.

"Can I buy this please?"

* * *

**Hi Everyone! Another Chapter over! So this one brought up some interesting stuff... **

**Leighton finishing up school! I wonder if her plans will work out as well as she thinks they will? Leighton is the fist to admit that she doesn't know much about hard work. **

**And she has a house now! Across the road from the Swan house! With three bedrooms.... I wonder who her room mates will be? **

**And Jacob hasn't dumped Lauren yet! That's disappointing! I wonder with all her new found optimism if Leighton will decide she wants to win him back?**

**Thanks for sticking with me for another chapter guys! I hope you're all having a good night/day (depending on which side of the world you're on) =) **

**Don't forget to tell me what you think! **

**-Lorrae =)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Which box should I put these in?" Bella asked dubiously as she looked down at the stack of pictures she was holding. I glanced up from where I was throwing my clothes into a box. Bella had loyally agreed to help my pack up the house and help me move into my new house. _New house._ Just thinking about my first real investment made me excited. It was quite a modern house; the previous owners had renovated it so well that I couldn't recognise it in the pictures Charlie had shown me. It had a Victorian feel to it that made me feel like royalty.

I looked down as Bella handed me the pictures she was holding. They were of Jacob and me. I looked at the first one. It was from Christmas, of Jacob and I sitting beside the tree. He had his long arm slung casually around my shoulders. His face was rounder, more youthful than the hard edges it had now. His face was care free as he laughed at something someone had said. I couldn't help but remember back to how perfect the day was. How perfect we used to be together.

I flipped to the next photo. It was Jacob and I painting my room for my birthday. At that stage there was more paint on us than on the walls. The photo's continued like this: Jacob and I kissing, me on Jacob's back, Jacob and I washing the Rabbit. It was like watching a movie of someone else's life. It seemed so long ago. I had almost forgotten all the things we did together. Occasionally there would be a photo of Bella and I, or of the pack. I laughed out loud at the picture of Emmett and I from Bella's birthday, where Emmett was pretending to suck my blood. Bella laughed at it too, and she looked relieved to be reminded that everything that had happened was real. I knew what it felt like to feel like your memories were slipping away from you. I missed Jacob so badly it felt like I was going to explode, or fall apart.

"So, remind me again..." Said Bella as we moved on to the kitchen. "You're moving because you hate the space in this house. But you're moving into a bigger house where you'll still be alone?"

"That's right," I told her as Bella shook her head. She seemed to think that my millions were sending me mad. I had already booked our Friday night flights to Alaska. I told Charlie that we were going for a girl's weekend and I might have given the impression that it meant going to see friends in Hudson but I felt like it wasn't exactly a lie. It just wasn't making the truth clear. If Charlie asked out right where we were going I would have to say Alaska. But I was hoping that he wouldn't word his sentence like that.

"I don't get it," Bella wrinkled her nose as she opened the fridge to clean it out.

"This place is too empty. It's too hard to see the places where mum walked. Everything reminds me of her too much. Its like I can still feel her here and it makes everything harder. I'm just ready to let go of everything and start picking up the pieces of my life again."

Bella had stopped listening to me. She was holding a finger over her nose as she studied a plate of what could have once been meatloaf. Now it was black and liquid.

"That's disgusting," She told me as what little colour she had drained out of her cheeks. We had played scissor, paper rock to see who would clean out the fridge. Rock beat scissors.

I carefully began to take the pictures off the walls and roll them in newspaper. I looked down at a smiling, baby version of myself. It gave me courage to ask about something.

"Bella, do you want to have kids?" Bella raised an eyebrow at me as she threw the meatloaf, plate and all, into the trash.

"Um, not particularly..." She shrugged and then turned her eyes quickly back to the fridge. "...It would be impossible with-" she gulped "-Edward, and I never wanted children anyway."

"Why would it be impossible?" I already knew it wasn't.

"Well, Vampires can't have children. And anyway," She blushed a deep crimson, "Edward won't...He doesn't want to... He can't... He won't touch me like that." She stuttered slightly and then turned her back to face the fridge. Bella and I were best friends but we never talked about sex how some best friends do. I thought hat sex with Jacob was so beautiful that words to Bella wouldn't do it justice. Beautiful wasn't even the right word. I didn't think sex was beautiful in the way a rose was beautiful. In that sense it was ugly and messy, but there was something so natural when Jacob and I just stopped thinking and let our bodies' instinct take over. He was so delicate with me and warm. The fact that his body was to die for was a plus as well.

"He says we could try it if we got married," Bella turned back around her cheeks were flushed but her tone was similar to the one she used when she was looking at the liquefied meatloaf.

"What's wrong with that?" I wasn't quite so opposed to marriage if it was forever. And Bella and Edward were forever.

"It's just so..." she cringed. "Urgh. Why couldn't we just be together forever? What difference does a piece of paper make? Sometimes he's so proper that it's frustrating. He thinks that he's _saving my soul._"

Bella seemed to suddenly realise that she had talked for a whole minute about Edward because her eyes suddenly glazed over and she quietly turned back to the fridge. I changed the subject from her.

"I want to have kids. I want lots and lots of boys. I want like five or maybe six." I wasn't sure if Bella was listening because she didn't reply so I stopped talking and left her to her thoughts.

It didn't take us long to finish packing the kitchen. Bella glanced at her watched and then followed me up stairs. "I have to get back to school. Charlie only agreed to let me have the morning off. I'm sorry I couldn't stay and help more."

"Bella, you did so much! I would have just brought a new fridge if it wasn't for you! Anyway..." I let my eyes trail to the closed door at the end of the hall. "There's only one room left to pack."

After Bella had left for school I walked slowly down the hall towards mum's room. I hadn't been in there since the accident. I had been carefully avoiding going anywhere near it. I didn't know why. Maybe I was scared of disturbing the one place where everything was still where she had left it; where her touch was still on all the objects. Maybe I was just scared of being reminded of how much I had lost. I held my breath and pushed the door open.

I was tired as the afternoon had worn on and I was half way through loading boxes into the truck I had borrowed. I hadn't thought about how heavy most of the boxes were and my arms were aching from the effort.

"Hey Leighton!" I jumped as voice echoed through the truck.

"Embry! Give me some warning before you sneak up on me next time!" I aimed a playful punch at his shoulder which he easily swerved as he grinned.

"Why? To give you more time to escape?" He laughed as another large Quileute boy shyly rounded the corner of the truck.

"Hey Seth!" I greeted as his face broke into a shy smile. I hadn't seen him since the day of my mum's funeral when he phased for the first time.

"Hey Leighton! What are you doing?" He looked curiously at the boxes and the truck.

"Well I'm moving into my new house today...and I was just thinking how I needed two strong boys to give a hand, ones with super strength would do, and here you two are." I eyed Embry suspiciously and he smiled guiltily.

"Yeah. Chief Swan called up Billy to see if Jacob could help you." I stared determinedly at a box. "But Sam sent us two instead." He tried to make it sound like it was Sam's idea but we both knew that Jacob wouldn't come.

"Well don't just stand there!" I laughed as I jumped off the truck and made my way back to the house. I ignored Embry as he exchanged a meaningful glance with Seth. "There are heaps of boxes and furniture to go!"

I spent the rest of the afternoon directing Seth and Embry as they effortlessly lifted my heavy furniture into the back of the truck and drove it to my new house. After we had unloaded all the boxes into their corresponding rooms I made some afternoon tea in my new kitchen and brought it to where the boys were slumped on the lounge room floor.

"I'm starving," Seth moaned as I sat down the plate of sandwiches and sweets. His eyes quickly darted to Embry and then to the food. Simultaneously both Embry and Seth's hands darted for the one piece of chocolate cake I had left. Embry was just a fraction faster then Seth and his hand closed triumphantly around the cake. Seth wasn't giving up that easily and there was a loud crack as their bodies collided as Seth dived for the cake.

"Hey! There's plenty of other stuff here!" I laughed as the pair wrestled on the floor. Embry always somehow managing to keep the cake just out of reach of Seth's groping jaw.

"What are you Seth some sort of animal?" Embry grinned as he heaved Seth off him. Seth pulled away panting, unsuccessful but still grinning.

"So how is "Wolf pack" life treating you?" I asked him as I casually munched my sandwich. Seth's eyes lit up. I noticed how some-how his face managed to retain some of it's childishness about it. He wasn't quite as hard edged as the other pack members seemed to be. It reminded me of how young he was.

"It's great! It is so cool Leighton! I can't believe that it had been going on all this time and I never knew!" He grinned as Embry rolled his eyes. "Too bad the leeches had left and there isn't anything to do anymore, though. I would have loved to have a go at one of them."

"Yeah that's too bad," I said dryly as Embry now rolled his eyes at me.

"You couldn't do it because your to slow anyway Seth," Embry said as he swiped the sandwich Seth was about to take a bite out of.

"Hey!" Seth complained but didn't fight for it.

"So what's the draw back of being a wolf?" I asked Seth.

"Leah," Embry and Seth said simultaneously. I smirked at the look of frustration on their faces.

"It's typical that she had to ruin the first cool thing that happens to me by....." He thought for a moment. "...being in it too."

"So Leah's phased now too?" I asked casually and Embry nodded darkly.

"Yeah. I don't think anyone saw that one coming." He paused for a second. "-Except maybe you. Couldn't you have warned us? Sam is still in a state of shock."

"I had to leave something as a surprise for you," I smiled as Embry and Seth muttered darkly.

"I hate surprises," Seth stated as he looked at his empty cup.

"So Leighton when's the house warming party?" Embry said suddenly looking brighter.

"Not having one," I said sternly.

"Oh c'mon," Embry tried to persuade me as Seth looked at me pleadingly.

"Please Leighton! It would be my first party as part of the pack. I want to see what the girls are like!"

I frowned at both of them. "I have a better idea! How about I just invite girls over here? I can like supply for you." I said sarcastically as Embry looked hopeful.

"Would you - ?" He laughed as he dodged out of the way of my poorly aimed swipe. "Seriously though Leighton. It doesn't have to be anything big. Let's just have the pack over and Bella. Maybe you have some one from school you want to invite. The pack hasn't seen you in ages and I'm telling you they miss you."

"Miss me?" I said skeptically as Seth nodded.

"It's true. It crosses Paul's thoughts the most."

"Paul?" I said even more skeptical now. Paul and I spent more time making each other mad then bonding.

"Yeah. Between Lauren and Leah he's seen that maybe you weren't so bad after all. Being around a normal girl would be a relief."

"Don't be mean,"

"So this weekend? Saturday night?" Embry said hopefully.

"Not this weekend. I'm going away with Bella. Maybe next week"

"Where are you going?" Seth moaned, clearly disappointed he's have to wait to try his luck with the ladies.

"Bella and I are taking a girls weekend. I think that we need a break." The mention of a girl's weekend seemed to drive Seth away but Embry watched me suspiciously as I pushed him out the door.

* * *

"You aren't going!" Charlie slammed his fist down on the table as I tried to be inconspicuous in my kitchen. He was in a heated argument will Bella about our trip, or specifically our plane ride out of Seattle, and I was trying not to get involved or feel too disappointed. Bella was trying to put up a good fight.

"Dad, I'm 18! You can't tell me what to do anymore. We'll be in Seattle for an hour at the most in the _daylight_. No serial killer would touch us!"

I wondered if I told Charlie it was essential to Bella's safety that we went if he would change his mind. Charlie clenched his jaw as a vein in his neck throbbed. I had invited them both around for dinner in my new house but it had turned pear shaped when I accidentally let it slip that we would be flying out from Seattle.

"Isabella Swan," Charlie said firmly and Bella cringed at the use of her full name. Charlie was serious. "I forbid you to go and Leighton –" He turned to face me. "- Well I can't forbid you to go but I think your mum would have felt the same way. So I can't stop you but I'd like you to stay home too."

I nodded. There was nothing else to do. He wasn't letting Bella go anywhere and I knew that these murders wouldn't be out of the news any time soon. I had to think of another plan. I had no idea.

"It's ok Charlie we won't go," I said numbly as Bella looked at me with her mouth agape. I could see her eyes glazing over as I was speaking.

"Well, good." Said Charlie as he went back to furiously chewing his steak.

After Charlie had wandered home Bella cornered me on the front porch.

"What are you doing?" she hissed and I could see she was desperately holding on to the thought of Edward coming home.

"Charlie wasn't going to let you go Bella. We have to come up with another way."

"How?"

"I'll just have to go and bring the Cullen's back myself." Bella looked skeptical, but slightly relieved as she crossed the road.

"You're not bringing them back," a voice growled from the shadows of my porch. I turned around and began to feel faint.

"Jacob."

* * *

**Hey Everyone! I hope you are all well... **

**Another chapter down! I have been writing furiously because I have had the greatest brain wave to put into this. he he. **

**Unfortunately I have to go to work sometimes so I can't just write 24/7 which sucks! I would like to! **

**A big thanks to everyone who offered their support with my nominations and to everyone who has voted! Sorry for the false alarms with the alerts! **

**I tried to get some Jacob/Leighton interaction in this chappy but there was a lot to put in it! So I left you all with a cliffy! **

**I'd say sorry but I have to keep you all coming back somehow! =) **

**Happy reading!**

**Lorrae =)  
**

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Jacob," I breathed as Jacob walked towards me out of the darkness. He was wearing his cut off jeans and his hair was longer than usual. He looked slightly wild.

"You're not bringing them back here," he growled as he towered over me. I felt anger prickle in my chest. He couldn't tell me what to do anymore. He forfeited any right to do that when he started dating _Lauren. _

"Wow. You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that. What if I thought you were Lauren and I hurt you?" I didn't even bother trying to be nice. Now that he was right in front of me I was mad. _How could he?_

Jacob ignored me. "I won't let you bring them back Leighton."

"You can't stop me going Jacob. The Cullens need to be in Forks." I tried to stress to him how important this was. I wasn't trying to bring Edward back for Bella. I was trying to bring them back for the pack. Jacob glared at me for a moment, as if his dark eyes were trying to see right into me.

"Yeah well everyone knows I've never stopped you from leaving before," The venom in his voice was over-whelming. It was accusing and heart breaking. It only made me madder. I didn't leave him. I left Forks. I was always with him. He was the one who decided he wanted to replace me with Lauren. He left me. Jacob turned quickly and began to walk away.

"And everyone knows that you don't come after me!" I yelled after him. I didn't really know what I was saying. I was so mad at him I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt as much as I did when I saw him kiss Lauren.

"Didn't come after you?" Jacob roared. He turned quickly on the stop and covered the space between us in two quick steps. I froze for a second as rage twisted his perfect face. He clenched his fists as they began to shake. He leaned in so close that his nose was only an inch from mine. "I looked for you for _weeks._ I ran all over the country!"

"And what did you do when you found me Jacob?" I yelled back, feeling just as furious. I was so furious that I ignored his trembling. "Nothing! You didn't do anything! You just turned away! You didn't say anything to me!"

"What did you want me to say? You seemed perfectly happy to me!"

"Anything!" I screamed at him, and I saw him flinch slightly at the intensity of my voice. I noticed the front light of the Swan house turned on. "I wanted you to say anything Jake. That would have been all it would have taken! There was a reason why I never said goodbye, because I could never say goodbye to your face. If you had just said anything I would have come home in a second!"

I panted slightly as silence fell between us. Jacob still towered over me but the anger seemed to deflate from me. I had said too much. I turned quickly and rushed inside. I closed the front door and slid down it onto the lounge room floor. I could feel Jacob on the other side. I closed me eyes and remembered the first day I had hung out with him; when my car had broken down in La Push. It seemed like a million years ago. I let the tears flow silently down my cheeks. After he hesitated for just a second, I felt the exact moment Jacob Black walked away.

The next morning I began to feel a little guilty. I had, after all, accused Jacob of being the reason our relationship was one big mess, and that wasn't what I thought. I new it was my entire fault. If I had just accepted that maybe this was going to be different from Stephanie Meyer's version everything would have been alright.

I frowned deeply as I looked down at the blank piece of paper in front of me. It was the early hours of the morning. I couldn't sleep after my confrontation with Jacob and so I decided to be productive and start working on a design for my label. I had a lot to do business wise – technically I was hadn't started – but I thought If I got designing then it would be able to re-kindle the excitement it gave me. Maybe it would stop me feeling like I was just floating through the days, not doing anything worthwhile.

Unfortunately, my creative juices, which were first squashed by anger at Jacob, were now being squashed by remorse towards Jacob. I was doing so well at keeping him out of my thoughts and he had to turn up on my porch to tell me...._What_ was Jacob even on my porch for? Besides eavesdropping on my conversation?

I felt my stomach twist. He couldn't have possibly have been just passing my house. It's in the middle of Forks and not any where near where the pack patrols. Embry had told me that because of the lull in vampire activity these days the pack had stopped patrolling Bella's house and now only patrol La Push, occasionally giving Forks a look over.

I felt myself fill with excitement and disappointment. What if Jacob was on my porch to talk to me? What if he was there to apologise? Could we have sorted it all out if he hadn't gotten so mad about me finding the Cullens?

I shook my head to try and dislodge the thought. It was done now anyway and I couldn't have might have been eating away at me. The front door opened and Bella walked inside. She looked tired, and I knew that she probably had a disrupted night's sleep with nightmares of Edward, but she also had purpose to her step as she walked straight past me into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. I rose and eyebrow and resigned my pencil back to its case. I would have to try to design something another time.

"Good morning," I greeted her as I put my things away and cleared the table.

"So," Bella said, looking me straight in the eye as she took a seat opposite me. "You are upset that Jacob didn't try hard enough to bring you home."

It wasn't a question and I felt my mouth fall open. I wasn't the one who talked about my feelings too much. I preferred to just put it aside and work on something until I forget that I feel that way, or until I forget where it's hidden.

"How do you know that?"

"Leighton, the whole _street_ knows it. You and Jacob were shouting pretty loud last night. I think Charlie was thinking about calling the police." She smiled dryly at her own joke and I raised a sceptical eyebrow at her.

"Sorry about the yelling," I told her in a tone that I thought clearly implied I didn't want to talk about Jacob.

"Well it got me thinking –"

"-That's dangerous."

Bella rolled her eyes at me. "It got me thinking about how much you are doing for me and I decided it's time for me to do something for you."

"You don't owe me any favours Bella."

"I know," She said, and I noticed how excited she was getting, she was leaning towards me over the table and her voice was rising. "But you're mad that Jacob didn't fight for you more. You wanted him to make you come home because that was where you really wanted to be right? You didn't want him to just walk away from you?"

I growled at her. I thought I had made it clear that Jacob was a no – go topic, obviously not clear enough. Bella ignored me and continued, "So what if he wants the same thing?"

She leaned in so close that her body was practically lying on the table. Her eyes were wide and she was looking at me expectantly, like she had just said a punch line to a joke and she was waiting for me to react.

"_What?"_

Bella sighed, "What if Jacob wants you to fight for him too?" she said slowly, like she was talking to someone who wasn't all there. "What if you are now doing what Jacob did to you? You are just letting him walk away with some one who is clearly wrong for him. You should fight for him. What's the worst that could happen?"

I stared at Bella. The thought of fighting for Jacob never really occurred to me. I already thought that he didn't want me. What if Jacob thought the same thing about me?

"Um... I don't really know Bella...there's Lauren to consider now."

Bella scoffed and smiled slyly, "What? Is she afraid of a little healthy competition?"

I found myself smiling back. I didn't know why. This idea seemed a little crazy.

Bella looked at me like she saw me doubt, "Don't doubt this. It's not hard. I've been thinking that all you have to do is tell Jacob how you feel. Tell him that you're sorry and that you still love him and you want him. How could he resist you when you put on those big puppy eyes –"

"-I do not use puppy eyes!"

"Yes you do, and it drives Jacob wild. He told me once. But once you tell him how you feel and no one is confused to what you want I'm sure he won't stay with _Lauren_." She said her name like it was unpleasant to taste and I appreciated her loyalty. But _what_ was she saying? Could it possibly be right? Could Jacob and I work everything out if no one was confused about what it was that we wanted?

"I can see that you're doubting this but really Leighton I know that I'm right,"

"How do you know that I doubt it?"

Bella smiled. "You get that little crease between your eyebrows. You get it a lot. When you dropped out of school...after that meeting at the clearing..."

We both looked down at the angry red scar poking out from underneath the sleave of my t-shirt.

"You never get that." I said tonelessly and Bella shrugged.

"That's because I never doubt how I feel. You should try it sometime."

I studied her carefully. Truthfully, when I was reading the books I thought that Bella was almost crazy in her sureness about Edward. The level of devotion frightened me. Now, I was jealous of her ability to just launch herself off that cliff into the unknown that is love.

"Ok," I resigned. Maybe I would try it. I knew more than anything that I wanted Jacob. Now it was time that Jacob knew it too. "What do I do?"

"There's no real trick to it. Lauren should be at school this morning. Maybe go and visit Jacob."

"Ok," I agreed and I reached out for the keys to the car I hired. I hadn't got around to buying a new car; I secretly wanted my beetle back.

"Not yet Leighton," Bella laughed.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Because it's 7am so Lauren probably isn't even at school yet – and you're not fighting for Jacob in you're pyjamas."

An hour later, I was dressed to impress and on my way to La Push. Bella, not usually the one to go to for fashion advice, had insisted that I should wear an outfit that has sentimental significance, but when I pulled out the paint shirt that I had worn when Jacob and I painted my old room she laughed. She then pointed out the dress I had worn at New Years. It was a plain black strapless dress with a slight puff in the skirt. Bella said it brought out my eyes and accentuated my chest region. I remembered how it felt when Jacob kissed my collar bone in this dress.

I pulled my hair into a casual pony tail but applied some powder Alice had given me and some of the mascara that made my eyes pop.

I wasn't sure what exactly it was that I was going to say. I had tried to rehearse something with Bella but she didn't help, she just insisted that after Lauren he must be desperate to go back to me. Especially when I was looking good and Lauren never looked good due to the sour look she always had on her face. I was thinking some thing along the lines of, "Jacob. I still want you. Do you want me to?"

I arrived at the Black's house a little bit past eight. The house looked exactly the same as the last time I had seen it and I was glad that at least some things didn't change. Jacob's Rabbit was sitting in the driveway and I parked behind it and walked slowly to the door, controlling my breathing. I didn't feel as nervous as I thought I would. I was fighting for Jacob and I was surprised at how right that felt.

I reached the front door and paused for only a moment before I knocked twice. The door swung open and I breathed in the scent of Jacob. It was musky and like the forest. I looked up at him. He looked surprised to see me. He shifted his weight across so that he blocked my view of the lounge room. I felt my determination stumble for a second. Maybe he was still mad at me about last night? Should I have waited longer?

"Jake..." I started and I looked up at him. On the way I let my eyes drink in his golden body. He was wearing a pair of sweats and was shirtless. I could feel the warmth radiating off him. Jacob looked slightly uncomfortable as I met his dark eyes, but he was curious too. I could see his eyes raking over me as I looked at him. He was remembering me too.

"Leighton..." He started but I held up my hand and touched his soft lips to stop him talking.

"Jake, I miss –" I paused as an angry scowl interrupted me. It wasn't Jacob's voice. Jacob closed his eyes for a moment as his body tensed but then he took the smallest step to the side so that I could see into the small lounge room.

Lauren was standing in the arch of the hall that led to Jacob's room. I felt the blood leave my face. I felt faint. She was standing with her hands on her hips. She was wearing Jacob's shirt - Only Jacob's shirt. It was so long on her that it reached half way to her shins. It was thin material and I could clearly see that she wasn't wearing a bra under the shirt. She was scowling at me and looking questionably at Jacob but I could see that under that she was _glowing. _She was radiating.

I stared at her for a moment as my mind comprehended what was happening, what _had happened._ I couldn't feel my body anymore. All I could think about was that I brought that shirt for him. I had brought it just before we went to our cabin and -. I stopped thinking. That was the very shirt that I had pulled on, just like she had, after -. I stopped thinking again.

"Oh," was all I could say as I turned to leave. I couldn't look at Jacob. I couldn't look at Lauren.

I got into my car and drove away without looking back, feeling thoroughly defeated in my fight to win back Jacob Black.

* * *

**Hey Everyone. **

**Don't forget to go to my profile and check out the new "Music from Forks" that I posted. It's just a playlist of each chapter for something extra so you know what I was thinking with the "feel" of the chapter so to speak.. **

**Anyway... Happy reading! =)**

**Lorrae  
**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"What are you doing?" Embry asked as I leant over the toilet bowl.

"I'm going to be sick," I told him as I gripped the edges of the bowl. Embry chuckled.

"Yeah, seeing Jacob and Lauren together could do that to even the strongest stomachs,"

"I didn't just see them together!" I growled at him from my spot on the bathroom floor, "I saw them _together!" _

"No you didn't," Embry corrected me and I glared at him. "You told me you just saw them coming out of his bedroom."

"Exactly! And Lauren had no clothes on! What do you think they were doing? Playing Play Station!"

Embry laughed again and I regretted telling him about what I had seen that morning. "I just don't think Jacob would do – He wouldn't want to – he couldn't…" Embry swallowed. "I think I might be sick."

"See what I mean?" I said tonelessly as Embry took a seat next to me on the cold tiles, instantly warming them.

"Well you can't just sit around here all day. Let's go hang out at Sam and Emily's house."

I shrugged, "What's at Sam and Emily's house?"

"Not Leah," he laughed as he jumped to his feet, pulling me up as well. I growled at him to be nice and Embry stopped teasing her. I think we both realised that now I had a little too much in common with her. I didn't know what I'd do if Jacob had imprinted on Lauren. Maybe I'd be bitter and twisted too.

I found myself breathing a sigh of relief when there was no sign of a rabbit in Sam's driveway. The thought only just crossed my mind as I was pulling in that there was a chance that while I was in La Push I just might run into Jacob again. Embry seemed to read my mind as he said, "Don't worry he won't be here. I told you. He's never around much anymore."

I nodded as we got out of the car and headed for the front door. I paused at the front door to knock but Embry opened the door and strolled in before my fist had a chance to tap on the wood. I followed cautiously after him, though it went against every grain of manners my mum instilled in me.

As I walked in I realised why. Emily and Sam were locked into a passionate embrace on the lounge, kissing more furiously then I'd ever seen two people kiss. Emily's arms and legs were wrapped around Sam as he lay on top of her, cautiously holding himself just off her. His shirt was off, but I tried to tell myself that they always walked around shirtless. Bad timing was obviously following me.

"Ahem," Embry coughed loudly as I was about to quietly back out the door. Sam was so engulfed in Emily that we surprised him and he jumped back from her as if he was burned. His eyes furiously turned to Embry as Emily and I both blushed deeply, though she tried to hide it behind her long hair. I looked at the floor.

"Doesn't _anyone_ go to school these days?" Sam growled, as he stood up and walked towards us. I noticed how he used his body to shield Emily from us so that she could compose herself. It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen because it was so subconscious. He didn't even know he was doing it.

"I dropped out," I told him quickly.

"I'm ditching," Embry replied as he made his way to the kitchen. Sam and I both stopped.

"_What?" _we both said together. Embry chuckled at how Sam's voice has the same sharp tone as my own.

"Don't 'What?' me," Embry said to me defiantly as he grabbed a slice of cake that was sitting invitingly on the bench. "At least I'm still enrolled."

He looked at me pointedly and I glared back. Sam still wasn't moving.

"Embry. It's part of your duty to the pack to finish your education. All of your brothers are still doing it."

Embry scoffed, "That shows what you know. Jacob hasn't been to school in _weeks._ Quil is the only one who goes five days a week."

Sam growled but let up as Emily walked into the kitchen and raised an eye brow at him.

"Leighton!" She smiled at me warmly, her perfect yet maimed face lighting up. I missed Emily. We used to hang out a lot when the pack was doing pack things. She pulled me into a tender hug that felt like it was holding me together. I frowned and closed my eyes, emptying my mind. "Oh, Leighton..." she whispered again and then she pulled away and held me at arms length.

"Hi," I smiled back but Emily still studied me suspiciously. I knew she could see through me.

"You're so thin!" She deplored over my weight for a few more moments before she breathed deeply and locked her eyes with mine so that I couldn't possibly look away. I tried not to stare at her scars. "Jacob is wrong." She told me firmly and I grimaced at his name. Sam and Embry seemed to be suddenly interested in the kitchen floor.

"Emily –" I started but she cut me off with one glance. It was angry but full of love at the same time. I didn't know how that was possible.

"You are part of this pack. Imprint or not. Jacob is wrong to do what he is doing." She looked down at my arm and I tugged at my sleeve uncomfortably. I had forgotten to cover up my long, pink, angry scar. The same shape as Emily's. "You bled for him and you've protected him... and this is how he repays you." I notice that her hands are shaking slightly.

"Emily –" Sam tries this time. He places a hand on her shoulder but she shrugs him off. Even this is tender. Everything's so tender it makes me want to cry.

"No Sam. It's not right. You said he's figure it out soon but he's not." It seemed like they'd had this conversation before. I wondered what they'd said about me leaving. This was my fault after all.

I was about to tell them when Jared burst through the back door and into the kitchen. Sam threw his arms in the air.

"Why aren't you-" He began to growl but he stopped at the frantic look in Jared's eyes. He was panting. He's been running, fast.

"It's Collin. Collin's phased." He said between gulps of air. Sam instantly turned to Emily who smiled at him reassuringly.

"Where?" He asked Jared quickly as Embry stood up as well.

"His house," Jared said solemnly. "His mum's there Sam."  
Sam nodded. "Get the whole pack. Embry you get the rest together and Jared and I will go straight to Collin."

I watched them as they quickly organised how to get Collin out of the house and where they would meet. They were so proficient. They'd do this so many times now.

"We'll bring him back here," Sam told Emily as he gave her a tender kiss. I shifted uncomfortably.

Embry gave me an apologetic wave, "I'll see you Saturday night."

Then they left.

"So what do you want to do?" Emily asked me as she gripped my hands in hers. "We could do some baking… The boys will be hungry when they come home."

I gulped. The pack would be coming back here. The _whole _pack. Jacob.

"I think I should go home." I stuttered and Emily looked disappointed.

"You don't have to," she soothed.

"Yes. I do." I pulled myself out of her grasp and jogged for my car and drove determinedly back to Forks. I was determined to not think about him. I was determined not to feel anything at all.

Later that afternoon I heard Bella's truck pull up out the front of her house, she quickly came across the street and let herself into the lounge room where I was drawing a design.

"Wow. That's got a lot of black in it." She commented. I ignored her and pressed the black pencil to the paper with even more violence. "I heard Lauren talking at school. She was talking to Jessica but she was loud enough for the whole cafeteria to hear, like usual."

I focused on the desk but I had stopped drawing. Bella sat down next to me looking devastated.

"I'm so sorry Leighton. It was my idea for you to go." She looked at her hands, her face flushed pink. "I can't believe Jacob would do that!" she exclaimed angrily, slamming her fist down on the table like Charlie often did when his team lost a game. "What a jerk!"

I raised an eyebrow at her but didn't respond. I was not feeling this.

"It's not a big deal." I shrugged, wishing that just this once Bella wouldn't call my bluff. She still did.

"It _is_ a big deal! That's why it's a big deal!" She exclaimed, the pitch in her voice getting slightly higher.

I was about to respond. I was about to tell her that these things mustn't mean much to Jacob. He wasn't who we thought he was. But I was interrupted by the front door opening again.

Embry walked in and behind him was another boy. He was only a boy. He had that slightly pinched look of someone who had grown a lot in a short space of time. He was big and fit, but not as big as Embry. His hair was cut short and his face was all angles. He was looking at the floor.

"Hi Embry! Come into my house. Make yourself at home." I said dryly as Embry smiled.

"Why thanks Leighton. We will make ourselves at home." He grinned broadly and I finally noticed that they were both carrying back packs.

"What's going on?"

"Well Collin here," He moved out of the way so I could see him properly. Collin looked up but as soon as he caught my eye he looked back at the floor. He didn't smile. "Collin phased in front of his mum. She won't let him back in the house. Emily and Sam don't have enough room for him. Is it okay if he stays here until his mum calms down?"

"That's fine," I said strongly, trying to catch Collin's eye. I wanted to reassure him that everything was alright. He was welcome here. He wouldn't look at me. I turned back to Embry. "What's your bag for?"

Embry shrugged. "I have to stay here too." _To protect you._ He didn't have to say the last part for me to know that was why he was here. I had already had experience with what new wolves could do.

"You don't have to look after me Embry," I said sharply and he shrugged and put his bag down. He motioned for Collin to do the same.

"I know," Embry shrugged. "This isn't my idea."

"Whose then?"

Embry sighed. "Jacob's of course."

_Jacob, _of course. Jacob, who doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me, but still tries to protect me. I shook my head to empty it. I wasn't going to feel this.

"Smile Collin," Embry ruffled Collin's hair but Collin pulled out of his way. He looked up for a second and his dark eyes caught mine. He was sad. "This is going to be fun," Embry ginned and Bella chuckled.

I wasn't so sure.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! So I realised that the last chapter wasn't very exciting so I've wrote another quick one to try to satiate your ever present update hunger. (Like that's even possible!). **

**I have been super busy at work these past few weeks hence the updates dropping back to once a week. I have now met my deadline and the updates should become more juicy and frequent shortly. =) **

**Thanks for all the reviews! As I said I've been super busy so I haven't been able to thank everyone individually for a while but I'll get straight to answering all your questions. But Thank you for all the support. Your praise is unwavering and incredibly flattering! You are the best readers anyone could ask for!  
**

Hope you like this short chapter!

Happy Reading!

Lorrae X

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

"How'd it go?" I asked as Embry and Collin walked through the front door, though I could tell from the slouch of Collin's shoulders that it probably wasn't going to be good news. It was the weekend, finally, and the pack had gone to Collin's house to try to explain to his mum. I didn't realise that some of the boys' parents didn't have any idea that their sons turned into enormous wolves. Billy was the leader of the council, the chief, so he knew before Jacob what was going on. Embry's mum thought that he was just acting out and sneaking out to go to girl's houses or parties. She had no idea he was actually out protecting La Push. It made me realise just how much they carried around with them. Embry told me about how he was constantly suffering through groundings and punishments. He told me it broke his mum's heart when he told her he was moving in with me. I could have sworn that his eyes were glistening as he told me.

The fact that bad parental relationships seemed to come hand in hand with phasing wasn't making Collin feel any better. When he wasn't with the pack he was brooding in his bedroom. He only came out for meals and he spent most of the time with his head hung low. He reminded me of Jacob when he first phased, bitter and resentful. Collin came into his room after being with the pack all day Friday and I was making his bed (there's not much to do when you don't go to school or work!). I wanted to offer him some words of comfort. I had seen him around La Push before but as he was only 13 I didn't have that much to do with him.

"Hey Collin," I smiled at him and he returned my smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "I'm sure things will work out with your mum soon." I told him. And I did think that. How could a mum stay away from her son for too long? Even if he did turn into a wolf?

"I wanted to kill her," Collin said tonelessly, his dark eyes full of hate, not for her but for himself. I said nothing. "I was so mad that she wanted me to clean my room that I nearly killed her."

"Jacob nearly killed me," I told him fiercely, and I pulled up my sleeve to reveal my long, pink scar. Collin's eyes widened. "I forgave him. I know it was an accident. And our relationship was worth a lot less than you and your mum's. So she'll come around." I left him to his thoughts and went to make dinner.

Now, Collin looked up at me and shrugged. His eyes were sad. Embry grimaced too. I sighed.

"It was better than yesterday," Embry offered but Collin just walked upstairs towards his bedroom.

"Was it really better?" I asked when Collin was out of the room. Embry shook his head as he grabbed a packet of crisps from the cupboard.

"She is going crazy. She won't believe what we tell her. She keeps saying that there are bad spirits in him."

"Can't Billy or one of the other Council members help?"

"They're trying too, but you can understand her a bit. I mean if your son suddenly exploded into a wolf you wouldn't know what to do either."

"Aren't you afraid that she'll tell someone?"

"Would _you_ tell someone?" Embry raised an eyebrow and I grinned.

"No, I guess not." I admitted.

"So I've invited a few of my friends around tonight as well," Embry said casually as he pulled the juice out of the fridge and guzzled it from the carton.

"Get a glass Embry,' I scolded him. "How many is a few?" I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't even begun to get anything ready. I was secretly hoping that Embry would forget about it. I should have known that wouldn't happen.

"Just a couple. I swear." I shrugged. He would be cleaning up all the mess.

"Fine, but if we're having people over tonight then you and Collin are helping me set up."

"They don't need much," Embry shrugged and I laughed. He had no idea how much food the pack ate since they seemed to have dubbed my house the Forks base. "Hey Leighton…" He began and I steadied myself for his next request. He always got a gleam in his eye when he wanted me to do something for him.

"What is it?"

"What did you and Jacob talk about last night?" I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. I didn't want to talk about it. Jacob had come over after dinner to check in. I walked downstairs to find his spread out on the lounge with Embry watching TV.

"Get out!" I had hissed at him and he hung his head low as he walked to where I stood holding the front door open. I looked back to the lounge room but Embry was gone, leaving us alone.

"Leighton," he said as he stood towering in the door way. I closed my eyes for a second as I remembered his voice, deep and husky, and his smell, like the fresh air. I felt like my heart was about to rip out of my chest; maybe it already had.

"Can you just go Jacob?" I said coldly, and then more desperately, "Please?"

He hovered in the doorway. Not further enough away but not close enough either. I was so mad that I wanted to hit him and scream at him, but in the same thought I wanted to jump his bones and kiss him. I just wanted to kiss him.

"I'm really sorry, Leighton. I didn't think it would get like this." I couldn't look at him so I stared at my feet. I was still so mad, and my anger was fighting with the fact that I missed him. I missed him so much. And I missed the Cullens, and the way life used to be.

"Well it's like this now, Jake." I looked up at him. His eyes were locked on me and his brow was furrowed. He wasn't ever good at these kinds of conversations: apologies.

"What you saw yesterday wasn't what you thought it was –"

"- don't." I cut him off. I did not want to hear about it.

Jacob growled, frustrated and ran his hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm going to break up with Lauren. I don't even know how we ended up like this. I didn't go out looking for her. I just wanted you to know that."

He looked at me expectantly; his eyes were digging into me, seeing right through me. I couldn't breathe.

"Jake. Please just stop this. I can't –" my throat became think. "I can't take much more of this."

Jacob reached out for me but I pulled away. His eyes were wet. I stared at the water glistening in his eyes. I'd never seen him cry.

"Leighton. I want to make this up to you. I _will_ make this up to you." I watched my feet as my tears ran down my cheeks and left drops on the floor. "I know I made a mistake. But I'm still new at this. I'm still learning. I _will never let anything hurt you again. _I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I still love you, and I know you still love me too."

I couldn't look up at him. My chest was constricted. This was what I wanted to hear. This was what I had been holding out for, holding on to.

"You should go now," I whispered and I swear I felt my heart rip. He was with _Lauren._

I felt Jacob exhale. It was like he deflated. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't breathe.

He turned to walk away. I knew he would disappear into the darkness soon. Could I do this again? Could I _not _do this again?

"Jake!" I yelled out to his retreating shadow. He stopped but didn't turn around. "I'm having a house warming party here tomorrow night. You can come if you want."

He turned around, and he was smiling. Smiling like the time when he lead me into our prom in my back yard. We had so much history. How could I ever let it go?

"Sure. I'll be there," He was grinning as he carelessly ran his hand through his hair and then disappeared.

"Leighton?" Embry said again pointedly and I cleared my face of any emotion. I didn't want to get my hopes up again. "What happened?"

"We're trying to work things out," I shrugged again left to grab my wallet. I had a lot of things to get ready for. Embry hid his face behind the fridge door, but not before I caught the smallest look of disappointment on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey Everyone! **

**I have some exciting news! The Leighton Saga has made it to be a finalist in the faithful shipper awards. The category is Best Series! So thank you so much for voting and now you need to do it all over again! =) **

**Also on awards, there is a site (you all probably know it but I just found it so let me tell you about it!) thats got a list of all the twilight fan fiction award sites its twilightawards (.) com **

**So if you wanted to see nominate your favorite fan fiction for an award (*cough*)this would be the place to go and see whats on. For instance there is the moonlight awards that are currently accepting nominations and I think that the La Push Award, The Imaginative**** Award and The Stephanie Meyer Award are all good categories (*coughs again*). **

**But anyway... I'll let you get onto reading this chapter. It is juicy. I expect that you will have ALOT to say about it.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

"Embry," I said hesitantly as I looked at the back pack sitting ominously on the bench.

"Yeah?" he asked, grinning at me mischievously. I slowly pulled down a zipper of the back and peaked inside.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" I said fiercely, reaching inside and pulling out two glass bottles of clear liquid. Embry chuckled.

"That's vodka, Leighton. You said I could invite some friends to the party." I scowled. It's wasn't that I wanted to be a party pooper, or even that I didn't think that maybe a few stiff drinks would help calm my jittery nerves, it was just that the police chief lived across that street and I desperately didn't want to let him down. I told Embry this. I also told him that Vodka would never be his friend.

"You worry too much. Charlie would never arrest you.... It's everyone else that should be worried." He grinned but I frowned at him. I was beginning to feel more like supervision than a housemate. Keeping Embry out of trouble was a full time career.

"You are not supply alcohol to minors! How did you even get it?"

"I'm not telling you for your own safety. That way if were caught and tortured, you can't tell something you don't know."

"I will torture you if you bring that anywhere near the guests tonight. Hide it in your room and I will get rid of it tomorrow." Embry scowled but walked up to his room with the bag of alcohol clutched firmly in his hands. I heard Collin chuckle from the lounge room as Embry stalked past him.

"Collin!" I yelled and the smile instantly fell from his face as I turned my attention towards him. Maybe I had been slightly prickly towards them as I was organising the house for the party. I wanted everything to be perfect. "Could you shower already? People will start arriving soon!"

"Soon?" Collin scoffed, looking at me in disbelief. "They won't be here for an hour and a half!"

I growled at him and he instantly jumped up. "I have to get ready! And I won't have time to heard you and Embry into the shower after that! So you are doing it now!" I said through my clenched teeth as I pushed him up the stairs towards the bathroom. "And you have to wear a shirt tonight!" I yelled through the bathroom door as the shower turned on. "And shoes!"

I sighed as I heard Collin begin to sing loudly in an attempt to drown out my ranting.

"You're like a bridezilla," Embry told me pointedly as I passed his bedroom door.

I ignored his comment, "There are instructions on how to make the punch on the bench. It's easy… just put all the ingredients in the bowl. Do you think you could handle that?"

"Sure," Embry said and I closed my bedroom door, glad to leave thoughts of food, punch and party music behind. All I needed to think about now was what to wear. I opened my closet and stared at it blankly for a moment. I wanted something that wasn't too dressy but not too casual either. I wanted something sexy but not desperate, okay maybe a little desperate. I wanted something that showed Jacob what he's been missing. I wanted to wear something that would drive him crazy, and maybe even showed off my new, skinner legs, that I had developed from living in Seattle and then living with two werewolves who didn't seem to understand that I would starve if they didn't leave me something to eat.

I fingered through my limited number of dresses and there wasn't anything that I hadn't worn before, that Jacob hadn't seen me in before. I paused for a moment as my eyes lingered on a box sitting next to my dresser. It was a box of some of my mum's clothes that I couldn't bring myself to donate them to a charity. I hadn't opened it, or thought about it since I had moved in, but there it was, full of clothes that were my size and too stylish to have ever belonged to a mother.

I held my breath as I opened the box, but when I had to breathe again I fought off the urge to bury my head in the soft material, just to inhale the clothes that still smelt like her, that I could still imagine on her.

I reluctantly fingered my way through the clothes. I didn't want to contaminate them with my smell. What if one day I forgot what she smelled like and needed to be reminded?

I decided that I would quickly reach in and pull out the first item that I touched. I buried my hand in there and pulled it out quickly, my hand grasping some soft material. I looked down at what I was holding. It was a tight black top with an open back that looked fabulous on mum. Casual yet dressed up, sexy and just the right amount of desperate. I paired it with a pair of tight, dark blue jeans and a thick belt. When I tucked the shirt inside the jeans the clothes seemed to cling to my sometimes big bum and make it look curvy. I studied it in the mirror. I pulled on a pair of heels, trying not to admit to myself that I wanted to be as close to Jacob's face as possible.

I was never very good at make-up and hair, and I thought with a pang of sadness how mum had always carefully curled my hair and pinned it up for any important event I wanted to go to. I let it down from its usual pony tail and studied it in the mirror. I wished that I had gone to have it cut sometime in the past year. Maybe then it wouldn't have looked so wild.

I decided to straighten it with mum's old straightening iron. I would have made the waves into proper curls but I'd never learnt how to do anything fancy with a straightened. I was quite pleased with the effect I had achieved. By the end my hair flowed sleekly to the middle of my back. I hadn't noticed how long it had gotten. I applied some makeup, just some mascara and a small amount of blush when Bella arrived.

"Wow. You look hot." She said dryly as I did a twirl for her. "Don't even try to tell me that you're not trying to impress Jacob." I laughed. I had tried to tell her that earlier that day.

"You look nice too," I told her, changing the subject. She did too. She was wearing her blue sweater that made her eyes stand out and looked great against her pale skin.

She blushed. "_I'm _not trying to impress anyone."

I shook my head. "I think that I still want to fight for him." I whispered.

Bella sighed. "Ok. But don't go back to him too easily. After everything he's done I think you should make him work for it a little."

I grinned mischievously. "Oh, I'm planning too."

Down stairs, I could already here some music playing beneath the loud chatter and laughter that followed the pack around. I felt my stomach flutter at the thought of Jacob downstairs. I hoped that Embry and Collin had offered refreshments around.

I walked down the stairs and noticed that everyone was crowded into the kitchen; I should have known that would have been the room to find Embry in. Most of the heads turned towards me as I walked towards them, making me shift uncomfortably. The majority of the boys were huddled around the kitchen bench filling their cups with punch and stuffing their faces with the cake I had provided. But they had paused mid- mouthful to stare. I smiled awkwardly and I walked towards them but none of them returned my smile. They were still staring, Embry even had his mouth slightly open. I blushed deeply. The only people who weren't looking was Sam, who didn't notice anyone but Emily, and Leah who was sitting on a stool away from the pack and staring bitterly at her hands.

I finally noticed that Embry didn't seem to be staring at me, in fact he seemed to be looking straight _through _me. Jacob was the only one whose eyes were locked on me, like he was seeing me for the first time.

I turned around to see what the fuss was about and I realised that Embry really had invited some friends to the party. There was a group of girls entering the lounge room behind me and the girl in front was so beautiful that even I stopped to stare. Her golden skin shimmered and her body was so curvy that it looked like she flowed when she walked. She smiled coyly as she greeted the staring faces of the crowd and she battered her heavily lashed eyes. I was jealous.

It took Embry about a second to cover the ground between them and I saw her dark, doe eyes raking over him in a way that gave me a strange pang in my stomach.

"Leighton this is Lola," Embry told me, winking to the rest of the pack. Seth and Collin tried to descend on the other two girls, who were probably pretty but looked plain beside Lola, but Paul and Jared quickly pushed them aside and offered the girls glasses of punch.

"Hi," I greeted her, raising an eyebrow at Embry who grinned triumphantly.

"Hey," she smiled, and her voice was sweet, sickly sweet I decided.

"Would you like some punch?" Embry offered her, and quickly steered her towards the kitchen.

"There's a doors open rule in this house, Embry." I whispered to him as Lola grabbed herself a cup.

"What?" he whispered back, his eyes still staring at Lola's exposed back.

"If you have a girl in your room the door has to be open," I smiled at him as his jaw dropped.

"Are you kidding me?" he was about to argue but Jacob finally approached me. He was wearing my favourite shirt of his and my favourite grin.

"Hey," he greeted and Embry used the distraction to leave me and I watched him place his hand on Lola's lower back.

"Hi," I replied, not even bothering to fight the explosion of butterflies in my stomach. He looked so good. "Do you want some punch?" I asked him as I grabbed a cup and poured myself some. Jacob hesitated.

"Um Leighton, I don't know if you want to drink that." He grinned at me; his voice was deep and husky.

"Why not? I know Embry made it but he couldn't really mess it up."

"He poured a whole bottle of vodka in there," Jacob chuckled.

I would have usually gone over and attempted to wrestle Embry to the ground and yell at him, but for some reason he looked like he was trying so hard with that girl that I didn't want to ruin it for him. And Jacob was here, in front of me, wanting to make everything better.

"Well do you want some or not?" I challenged him. For effected I lifted up the cup and downed its contents in one go. It burned. It didn't even taste like punch.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me, but grinned gleefully.

* * *

Werewolves can't actually get drunk. This was something that learnt as I sat around a table drinking shots of the punch with Embry and Lola. They burn the alcohol off before it could affect them. Jacob was sitting behind me, his arms wrapped firmly around my waist, his body pressing into mine.

"Hey, do you think you've had enough?" he whispered into my ear, his breath on my neck gave me Goosebumps.

"Noooot yet," I slurred. My head was spinning. I could see Lola giggling at Embry from across the table. "She's pretty," I told Jacob, who chuckled and pulled me closer to him.

"Not as pretty as you," He whispered and I turned to face him. He was studying me carefully and didn't move as I placed my small hands on his face. I traced circles on his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Leighton –" He whispered, but I quieted him with my fingers. I missed him a lot. I had missed him so much. The whole room was spinning, and I wasn't sure that I couldn't stand up, but he was clear. I was sure about him. I leant in slowly, taking my time, savouring the moment and when my lips met his he didn't move he just let me rest my lips on his, not kissing, not rushing anything, just letting our lips speak to each other for a moment.

"Jacob –" interrupted a sharp voice, that seemed to ring in my nightmares. I turned to see Lauren standing in the front door. I heard Jacob groan as he stood up and helped me stand shakily next to him. I didn't feel so drunk anymore.

"Get out of my house!" I told her and I went to step forward, but stumbled and Embry caught me to stop me falling. He was standing too. The whole pack seemed to be. I saw Bella look at me from where she was sitting with Ben and Angela. She looked warily at Lauren.

"I just want to talk to Jacob for a minute," she told me, and I noticed the lack of poison that usually seeped out of her voice. I looked at her for a moment. She didn't look like she was here to crash my party. She was wearing baggy sweat pants and her hair was greasy and messy. She looked tired. Her eyes were puffy like she had maybe been crying. She looked so venerable that I faltered for a moment.

"There's nothing to say, Lauren, we're finished." Jacob said, standing behind me again, wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt my heart swell for him.

"I really just need to talk to you for a second," she whispered now. Everyone was quiet, watching us. Her voice seemed strained.

"Go home," I told her, and Lola giggled from where she was sprawled on the floor, her legs in the air.

Lauren steeled her face and gave me a look of pure hatred. I found myself feeling relieved. That was far easier to deal with then her looking sad. Maybe she had really liked Jacob. Maybe he did break her heart, if she even had one.

"Fine. I'll just tell you here then." She took a deep breath and looked right at me. She didn't even look at Jacob. "I'm pregnant."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"What?" I whispered, though I heard what she said. Jacob had suddenly let go of me, but that was OK, I was feeling suddenly sober.

"Will you come and talk to me now?" She asked, now looking at Jacob, who wasn't moving. No one was moving. Everyone was staring at Lauren.

"Jake," came Sam's deep, soothing voice. Emily was at my side now, squeezing my hand. "I think you should go with her," he said

"No," Jacob said sternly, he was looking at Lauren in shock. Lauren shifted awkwardly.

"Jake…" Lauren whispered and I felt mad at her for calling him that. Only the people who were close to him called him that.

"No Lauren. It's not possible and you know it. Why would you even try and tell me that!" Jacob was growling now, his hands were shaking. Sam gripped tightly onto Jacob's shoulder to hold him steady. Everyone was looking from Jacob to Lauren like it was some sort of tennis match.

Lauren blushed and looked at the ground. I'd never seen her look so uncomfortable. "What am I supposed to say Jacob? You just used me to get back at _her." _she looked at me viciously and I almost felt sorry for her, _almost. _

I stared at her with my mouth agape. "You just lied!" I stared at her and she at least had the decency to look ashamed. "You are unbelievable," I muttered and I stalked past her and out into the cool night air. That was beyond low. I felt myself filling up with hate towards her, lying to try and get Jake to say with her. I felt sick.

"Leighton, wait a second!" I froze as Lauren followed after me into the darkness.

"I don't have a second for you anymore!" I stopped so suddenly that Lauren nearly ran into my back. She did look miserable but it didn't make me like her anymore.

"People use to like me before you and Bella moved here," She told me. I stared at her. Was that what all this was about? _Popularity_? I didn't care about people liking me. I just wanted the people I loved to come out of this _alive_.

"Well I wonder why they don't now. Oh wait a second it's because you're a lying bitch!"

"I'm sorry about saying I was pregnant. I just saw you with Jacob again and it just came out. We didn't even – he wouldn't –" She stopped talking as I stared at her. But I felt slightly relieved that Jacob wouldn't do that with her. Maybe some things were still sacred.

"I don't even know why that would come into your mind…I nearly died in there Lauren. It was just cruel."

"I know," she shifted awkwardly again. It infuriated me that she could only look at her feet. "I'm sorry OK."

"No it's not OK," I pushed past her back towards the house.

"Did you know that my mum left my dad and me last year?" I stopped walking. Her voice sounded sad. I told myself that she was just trying to make me feel sorry for her.

"No. I didn't know that."

"You don't know because my dad told me not to tell anyone. He doesn't want to admit that she's gone. So I've been pretending for a year that my mum is still around. And I'm really mad at her. And I'm really mad at my dad. And I'm really mad at myself. And I'm sorry that I'm so horrible to you all the time. And I'm sorry that I was horrible to Jacob. And I'm trying to not be so angry but it's really hard sometimes."

I turned and looked at her. She was crying, and in the dull light of the moon she almost looked fragile, not like Lauren at all. I tried not to feel sorry for her, but I found it sinking in. I guess that people have things happening in their lives that you don't know about. Sometimes they're hard things.

"Ok. Just don't come near Jacob again." I told her, but I smiled at her too. Mostly because I wanted her to stop crying. She was easier to hate then.

I walked back inside where the party was considerably less raging. Jacob pulled me into a bear hug, familiar and warm.

"So I guess things can go back to normal now?" He grinned at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, we can get straight back to werewolves fighting evil vampires with the good vampires. _Normal_."

Jacob laughed.

* * *

**Hi Everyone! Another supershort chapter to meet the demands about "what the hell is going on!" **

**Now let me explain myself a little because I feel it's important! I wasn't ever going to drag this Lauren thing out for as long as I have but after I poped her in for the first time she was met with such hatred that I just had to tap into that for a bit longer. Mostly because I began to feel a little sorry for her. **

**Lets admit it she didn't exactly organise the whole Jacob thing. That was Jacob's idea (And I'll put in a spolier and tell you it was a little bit of the Embry genius in there too). And Jacob was just using her. As we know he would do anything to get the girl. **

**So I wanted to reveal to you a little bit about what it might be like in the life or Lauren... people don't just get born bitter and twisted. So i thought that we should all have a look at something that could have made Lauren like she is.. mixed in with all those teenage hormones like wanting to be accepted and liked... **

**I think that it is important to know where the antagonist has come from. You can still hate them.. but you have to walk a mile in their shoes first, right? What's that saying? **

**Anyway. Just thought I'd let you know that I hadn't gone completely mad or had just been taking my inspiration for Bold and the Beautiful (you were thinking it, don't deny it!) And I did go off on a bit of a tangent. **

**So now as Jacob says, back to the normal stuff of vampires and werewolves. **

**Lorrae =)  
**


	12. Chapter 12

Hi everyone! So I realise that my writing got a little wayward for a while there. So here is my first chapter after trying to get back in touch with my writing.

**A big thanks to AddisonJ and Snow Wolf Alpha for all their advice and kind words of encouragement.**

Hopefully this is better =)

Don't forget to tell me what you think!

Happy reading!

-Lorrae =)

**P.s. Gravity is nominated for some more awards. Links on my profile. You know what to do. **

**Chapter Twelve**

"So what did you tell Sam?" Eleanor asked as she lay lazily across the sofa. I sat absentmindedly sketching her outfit. I liked it. It was effortless cool mixed in with some grunge. A pair of black skin tight jeans and an oversized grey t-shirt with, fittingly, a wolf on the front.

She was asking about Forks again. I was starting to suspect that she only ever asked about it when there wasn't anything exciting going on in her life. She had told me that she thought there was no way that Jacob would let me go to try and find the Cullen's now that we were back together. I agreed with her. I had already thought of that; and had counteracted it with a move that would probably split us back up again. It was the only thing that I could do though, I told myself that anyway. It was drastic, but necessary. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

It had only taken Jacob a number of minutes of us being together again for him to tell me that there was no way in hell I was bringing the Cullens back, just in case I was still thinking it. I pretended that I didn't know what he was talking about, but there was something in his protective growl, and the way he held me just that little bit tighter that told me he was not kidding around. He left me no choice.

I went to Sam. His was the only order that Jacob wouldn't be able to refuse. Well, he could, but he didn't know that he could yet. It took me three days to convince myself that this was what I had to do. I felt horrible thinking of Jacob going out of his mind with worry but unable to do anything. And I knew that Sam hated to give alpha commands, so I had to give him some sort of reason. I didn't want to give too much about the attack away, just in case it changed things too much, too irrevocably. But I had to give him a pretty good reason for why he had to let me bring the Cullens back, alone, and why Jacob couldn't follow me, stop me from going or get in the way. Jacob or any other wolf.

"Alice can't see me if I'm with a Wolf," I explained to Sam. "And I don't really know where they are so I'm hoping that Alice will see me and find me."

Sam was silent, totally unreadable. I remembered how frightening he could be when he wanted to. "Why do they need to come back? If it's just for Bella... I'm sorry that she's hurt but that is for the best. I can't let you bring danger back here."

This was it. I was hoping that some sort of great inspiration would hit me when Sam asked for the reason the Cullens needed to come back. Nothing happened. "There is an event that I saw happening in the future that the Cullens are supposed to be here for. It's actually my fault that they're not here already, and if they're not here I'm sure that really bad things will happen to everyone who I love. And I know how horrible this is for you, and I wouldn't ask it if it wasn't really important. There are worse things out there then the Cullens and you need to do this to protect the pack."

I don't know if it was because my voice was shaking with fear or something else entirely, but after unsuccessfully probing me for more information Sam agreed to think about it. And then, a day later, he came to me to say he would do it. He would give an alpha command to the pack that they couldn't follow me or stop me from leaving, nor could they talk to me about it. I think Emily had a lot to do with it, but I had always thought that once Sam thought through what I was saying he would do it. That was why I went to him and didn't talk about it with Jacob. Sam would put the pack's and the town's safety before one persons; mine. Jacob just got all caught up at me.

"So Sam didn't even want to know what is coming?" Eleanor asked dubiously.

"I think he might trust me," I told her uncertainly. "He was the first to know that I knew stuff I shouldn't, and I never told his secret even when I with Jacob, even when Jacob was wondering what was going on. I think he knows that I wouldn't do anything to hurt the pack."

Eleanor shrugged; she was looking at her fingernails now; bored with where the conversation was going. "Maybe," she said absentmindedly. She then glanced over at my sketches. "Does Mrs. George have you designing now?"

"Not really… These are just for me."

"They're cool."

"Thanks." I shrugged. The air between us filled with silence. Not awkward, but we both simply had other places we would rather be.

"You snore, you know?" My eyes fluttered open to look at Jacob. He was lying next to me on his side, watching me as I slept. I smiled at him. I was still getting used to having him back again, but waking up next to him, with him only wearing a pair of cut off sweat pants – I didn't think I could ever get used to that. I rolled over and wrapped my arms around his neck and lent in to gently kiss his nose. His dark eyes sparkled.

"I do not," I told him, "You probably woke yourself up with your own snoring."

Jacob wrapped his long arms around my waist and effortlessly pulled me onto his chest and rolling onto his back, so I was lying on top of him. My skin tingled furiously were the skin that poked out from under my clothes touched his bare chest. My clothes were instantly warmed by his body heat.

I leant down and kissed his lips lightly, my heat beginning to thump harder, like it wanted to jump from my chest into his. As my eyes opened I noticed the clock on my bedside table.

"Jacob!" I scolded jumping off his chest and trying, unsuccessfully, to pull him into a sitting position. "Look at the time! You should be in school!"

"School?" Jacob scoffed and pulled me effortlessly back onto his lap. "Who needs school?"

"You do!" I told him, fighting uselessly against his huge arms. I needed the time when Jacob was away to plan my trip to Alaska. I wasn't sure when Sam was going to give the Alpha command but I wanted to be ready to go as soon as he did. I didn't want to waste any time. "One of us needs to graduate and get an honest job!"

"That would be you," Jacob laughed quickly as I frowned at him.

"Jacob Black! You need to go now! Billy will be wondering what you look like!" Jacob laughed at my attempts to remove his endless arms from around me.

"Can't we just stay in for a while?" Jacob whispered, slowly kissing my neck. My breath became just the slightest bit heavier but I still fought off his charms.

"No. We really need to get a move on." I persisted. Jacob ignored me, making a trail along my collar bone with warm kisses. My voice faltered a little.

"So you're sure you don't want to stay just a little longer…" He whispered between kisses. His voice was throaty and rumbled on my skin.

"Maybe we could stay just a little longer…" I sighed as Jacob lent in to kiss me again.

"Ahem," came I cough from the door. Embry was awkwardly looking at his feet. I jumped out of Jacob's arms and struggled to pull my shirt down to cover my underwear. "Jake we need to go. Jared just came and said Sam's called us for a pack meeting."

I felt my stomach turn. This was it. It was time for me to go. I tried to act casual as Jacob baulked.

"But we just had a pack meeting the other day! Tell him that I'm busy!" Jacob reached out for me again, laughing carelessly, but I simply stood mortified and Embry was trying his hardest to find anything to look at but me.

"Jared said it's important. He said Sam seemed really worried." Jacob frowned, his brows pulling together into a tight knot. He suddenly jumped up from my bed, grinning.

"Maybe there's another leech around. Things are starting to get boring around here."

"Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed incredulously. If things around here were anything, boring was not one of them.

"Sorry honey," Jacob chuckled, leaning down to kiss me on the head. "You could never be boring."

I shook my head. Typical Jacob, completely missing the point.

"So I'll see you this afternoon?" Jacob asked on his way out the door.

"Of course," I told him, hoping he didn't notice my voice tighten. _If you still want to see me. _

I booked my flight to leave from Seattle at 2 o'clock the next afternoon flying directly to Anchorage, Alaska. From there I was planning to catch the train to Denali and then I was hoping that maybe Alice would be waiting for me at the train station, because Denali was a huge area and I assumed that the Denali Clan probably didn't live in the main part of Denali but in the many miles of national park. Where there were plenty of animals to feast on.

Nobody came home. When Bella came home from school I ducked across to tell her that I was leaving tomorrow. She was relieved even though she tried to hide it behind her concern for what I had done.

"You don't have to do this," she told me as I furiously shook my head. "I mean. Ed – He might not even want to come back. He said he didn't want me anymore." She looked at her hands as if maybe they held to key to why Edward left.

"No Bells," I told her firmly, lifting her chin so that she looked at me squarely. "I don't have to do this – I need to do this. And Edward does love you. Don't ever doubt it."

"Remind me why he left then?"

"I've told you. He thinks that you're safer away from him. He wants to save your soul."

"That does sound like something he would say," she mumbled, but looked slightly less distressed.

Collin came home first. He walked straight past me and stalked to his bedroom before I could get my mouth to form words.

"Collin!" I banged on his bedroom door. I cursed giving him a room with a lock. "Collin, can you open the door! Can I explain? Can we talk?"

"I can't talk about it!" He growled back, and my whole body filled up with guilt. It was like I had swallowed stones. I couldn't hear what he said next but I thought it sounded something like, "You made sure of that."

"Collin! This is really how it's meant to be! I'm sorry. But you'll understand eventually. I'm sorry too. Can you tell Jacob that for me? And Embry too? Tell them I'm not betraying them or anything. I'm helping you all."

"I'll pass on the message," I quickly turned around to face Embry who standing in the hall. I'd never seen the darkness that now crossed his face. It didn't suit him.

"Embry –"

"Don't Leighton." His voice suddenly constricted like someone was choking him. I took a step towards him but he stopped me with a shaking hand. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.

"Collin and I are just here to get our things." He said calmly.

"Embry, you don't have to go. You can still live here. You're more than welcome."

"We want to go. Now that you've gone over to the leeches' side."

"Their side?" I choked in disbelief. "Really Embry? I'm not on any side! There aren't any sides for me!"

"Well there should be!" He shouted and I jumped backwards at his angry tone. "You – should – be – on –our –side." He gasped as the lock of the alpha command took over him again.

"I'm on both sides. This is for the pack. I know you don't see it now but you will. It shouldn't be like this!"

"This is how it is, Leighton. We are werewolves and they are vampires! Mortal enemies! You think its going to help to bring them back but you don't know what its like for us! You don't know what its like to smell them and have every part of your body want to kill them! You don't know what they've done to the tribe in the past! You don't see what its like for Jacob to go out of his mind every time you go off with them! You can't see him now! He's tearing himself apart!"

Embry was shaking and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I didn't even know when I started crying. Was it because of Jacob? Or because Embry was nearly choking to death to tell me this? Was I really doing the right thing?

"I'm leaving tomorrow Embry. Sam thinks it's the right thing to do. If you don't trust in me then trust him."

"Sam," Embry scoffed, clenching his fists. "Sam thinks that you're not coming home. That's why Jacobs so wild. Sams trying not to think it, but he is."

I stood dumbfounded in the doorway as Collin opened the door and stalked past me with his backpack. Embry hesitated for just a second before turning and walking away as well.

The drive to Seattle felt longer than usual. I was tired. I had spent the whole night awake, tossing in my bed, waiting for Jacob to show up. He never did.

All I could think was that maybe he would break free of the Alpha command to come and see me. The reason he broke free was because the pack was going to attack Bella. I wasn't in the same sort of danger, but that didn't stop my mind from thinking maybe - . I stopped myself before I went crazy. I'd had this argument with myself before. My Jacob and Stephanie Meyer's Jacob were different. You're not the same person no matter what happens in your life. Its life that forms you. My Jacob is different because things here are different. _I am here_.

I never fell asleep, not even for a minute, and in the morning I found myself looking for things that I might have forgotten just to put off leaving. After I had checked my bag for my hiking boots three times I couldn't find anymore reasons to wait. I didn't know what I was expecting to happen. Jacob wasn't ever going to come and wave me off.

My hands shook as I drove and a few cars honked at me to get back onto my side of the road, but I made it to Seattle airport an hour and a half before my flight. I checked in. I only brought a backpack and a carry on bag. I didn't know what I needed. I didn't know where I was going or what I would be facing. I was incredibly underprepared.

"Going to Alaska?" the lady at the check in desk asked me cheerfully. "It's beautiful this time of year."

"I'm sure it is," I half-heartedly smiled.

After wandering aimlessly around the terminal my flight was finally called to board. I joined the line of passengers waiting to board and wishfully gave one last glance around the terminal. No oversized boy caught my eye.

"Ticket please," the attendant asked as I handed her my ticket that she put into the machine and handed back to me. I boarded the flight.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone! Sorry this one took so long. Hope you like it!**

**-Lorrae =)  
**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

It was beautiful. That was my first thought about Anchorage. Even though I hadn't ever traveled anywhere to compare it to I knew that the scenery was breathtaking. Coming into summer the weather was pristine, bright sunshine but with a slight chill to the air. If I was rejected from Forks and Jacob didn't want me anymore and Bella was changed by Edward and their lives were on track again I wanted to go to Anchorage and maybe get a small hut somewhere in the forest. I had enough money that I didn't have to live any kind of normal life. I could just disappear.

That was the thought that had plagued me for the entire flight to Anchorage. What would my life be like after all this was over? I wasn't even thinking about when Jacob imprints on Nessie, even though that thought frightened me, but even in a more broad sense. What would I do if one day I didn't wake up in Forks? How could I possibly have a normal life after this?

Needless to say, by the time I arrived in Anchorage I was feeling incredibly spiritual, and unbelievably exhausted. So exhausted that I was pondering over thoughts that seemed to make a lot of sense, but were actually things I'd never consider normally. I hated to admit it but what Embry had said really hurt me. It had gone deeper than I had expected hard words from him would.

I had seen him mad before. I had seen him mad before at _other_ people. But not ever how he was with me. He was mad, but it was more than that, it was like he had suddenly lost all hope with me; like he was suddenly indifferent to what I did with my life. And Jacob – I seemed to have put Jacob in the too hard to think about part of my brain.

I checked in at The Anchorage Grand Hotel, it was a short Cab ride from the airport, but just down the road from the train station. I wasn't sure what to do once I arrived in Denali. The train was going to take me right to the door of the Denali National Park. I wasn't sure if that was where the Denali Clan would live. After all, could you live in a National Park? My thought was no, but they probably didn't advertise their existence since they were vampires.

I was relying a lot on the thought that Alice would see me and hopefully just be waiting for me somewhere. I kept thinking of getting on the train and arriving in at the National Park at 3:55, when the train was due. I didn't know exactly how Alice's visions worked, but I knew that she only saw the course someone was on once they decided to do it, and I didn't know how I could be any more decided. I was halfway there already.

There were, of course, some flaws to my plan that I had let myself think about for a number of seconds. The main one being that what if the Cullen's weren't hiding out in Alaska. I was so sure that I had read that they had gone there, but I hadn't re-read the books in a number of years. Sometimes, mostly when I hadn't had much sleep, I began to doubt that I had really read that at all. Maybe I had just assumed that and really they were somewhere else completely. I always countered this with the thought that Alice would still have to see me coming. My more doubtful conscious then asked what made me think I was important enough to feature in her visions at all. Surely she was spending a lot of her time looking out for Edward, who I was sure was maybe somewhere in the depths of African jungle, or something similar.

"I'm not sure they did say where they went," Eleanor pondered as she fingered through the worn pages of _New Moon._

"Don't say that!" I panicked, throwing a copy of Eclipse at her. "I'm not sure it's mentioned in New Moon, maybe I read it in Eclipse."

Eleanor looked doubtful, "Leighton. You'll just have to read them both again! I don't have the time anymore. I don't think that they mentioned where they were hiding out at. I just think that they left it at Edward being in Italy."

"Don't say that!" I groaned again. This was not what I wanted to hear. "Ellie! I'm in Alaska right now! Don't tell me that they're not there! What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Eleanor shrugged and turned back to her face book page. I was sure I saw her roll her eyes at me, something she never did. "Just tell Edward that Bella's dead and meet him in Italy. Or even better just go back to Forks. Who even cares! It's not even real!"

I felt like she had punched me in the stomach. I looked at her with my mouth agape. My cheeks were burning. I felt totally humiliated. I thought she believed me. I thought that she knew that what I felt when I was there was as real as anything I had ever felt before, even more real. When Jacob kissed me it was real. What I felt for him was real. How long had it been since she stopped thinking that? I was supposed to be the cynical one, the non believer. Eleanor was the kid who was forever immersed in fantasy novels and make believe. She was the one who used to tell me that she thought there were other worlds in different times and lands. She never used _Facebook_.

I looked at her as she absentmindedly typed something on someone's "wall". She straightened her hair these days, deciding that she didn't like her incredible curls. She was a completely different person and I hadn't noticed it until now. How could that happen? How can you know someone your whole life and then one day just not know them at all?

I left her room, not bothering to take the "Twilight" books with me. I didn't like to read them anymore. It felt too different. It made me remember that everything that's happened in Forks was just a dream.

I lay on my bed and let all the emotions wash over me. I just wanted everything to work out. I was so tired.

The train ride to Denali was incredibly boring. Mostly due to the fact that I was stuck sitting next to a girl whose ambition in life was to be a tour guide and she spent the whole seven hours practicing on me.

"This town here is Wasilla. Did you know that it's the fifth largest city in Alaska and its population had doubled since the 2000 censes? This is where Sarah Palin was mayor before she was elected as Governor of Alaska."

"Oh Gee. Isn't that interesting!" I exclaimed, no longer trying to keep the dryness out of my voice.

"I know!" The girl exclaimed. Her face lighting up like she really did think this was the most interesting thing she had ever heard.

"Did you know that the only king in a deck of cards that doesn't have a mustache is the king of hearts?" I asked, holding up the pack of cards I brought at the train station.

The girl glanced at me like she was questioning my sanity. "Wow. That's interesting." She smiled half-heartily. Obviously she didn't think it was that interesting.

I didn't think it was that interesting either. When Eleanor was younger she used to tell me all sorts of random snippets of information. That was the only one I could ever remember.

About half way through the journey a rail worker came through the carriage way handing out brochures.

"Would you girls like to know more about Alaska?" the lady asked. At some stage she had her teeth whitened and I had to stare at them they were so bright.

"Sure,' said the girl next to me, suddenly speaking slower, almost like she was retarded. "We don't know anything about Alaska!"

But since she knew a lot about Alaska, and she only took one copy of each brochure, it was obvious she meant that I didn't know anything about Alaska. She beamed as she handed them to me.

"Are you by any chance a girl scout?" I asked, slowly taking the brochures.

"Yes! My mum got me involved from the moment I could walk." She beamed at me again.

"Oh, how long is there left?"

"Four hours,"

I groaned.

Alice wasn't there, that was my first thought. My second thought was panic. I walked around the visitors centre for an hour, looking at maps and reading brochures, trying to decide what my next move was. Maybe even hoping that Alice would turn up. She didn't.

I must have expected this at some stage because I had loaded my backpack with camping gear, with a lot of help from Mrs. Newton at the Olympic Outfitters. She didn't quite understand why I wanted to go all the way to Alaska to do some hiking but she wasn't arguing since I was now her best customer. It cost $14 for a camping spot at the Riley Creek Campground. The campground was just inside the entrance of the national park and had all its own amenities which suited me just fine. I had never "roughed it" before so my ignorance made the whole thing seem more exciting than it was. If I really let myself think about it maybe I would have been more stressed, but I didn't, so for the reminder of the afternoon I walked around some of the park, not very far since it was getting dark, and chatted to some of the families who were staying at the camp site as well.

My plan for the next day was a simple one. Take a shuttle bus to the start of the Mount Healy Overlook Trail and make the two hour trip to the overlook and have a look around for any sign of a house in the park. It was, admittedly, a stretch of the imagination that I would see their house (I was assuming they lived in a house). But I was still hoping that Alice would arrive at any minute, laughing musically and fixing everything.

The hike was considered strenuous and not recommended for armatures, the park employee told me, so I told her I was an experienced hiker as I hid my shiny new hiking boots that would be a dead give-away. The first thing I thought as I started out was that this hike was too easy and too beautiful. I found myself stopping regularly to look at an interesting plant or jus to stare at a moose. The air was so incredibly fresh that it seemed to fill me with renewed energy. When would I ever get to visit here again? I thought I may as well make the most of a hopeless situation. I had promised Bella that I wouldn't come back without Edward. Now looking back on it that promise seemed a little rash.

After about two miles I began to see why they called the trail "strenuous". Strain didn't even begin to explain how my legs felt when they began the 1,200 ft climb. I didn't know what I expected. I was going to an "overlook" I don't know how I expected to over look anything without climbing upwards.

At the half way mark I was pretty sure that I was about to go into cardiac arrest. I didn't know how high your heart rate needed to be to die but I thought that my heart was probably flirting with it.

There weren't many hikers out that day, and I hadn't passed any (or anyone passed me) since I had turned onto the Mount Healy track. That didn't feel strange to me; I could understand why no one would want to walk this track when there was plenty of other, more level, tracks.

At the top, I quickly threw off my pack and sat myself down on one of the provided benches. The view was breathtaking. This wasn't healthy since I was already so out of breath. But, like I expected, after more than an hour scanning the surrounding park with my trusty binoculars there was no sign of anywhere that looked like maybe there could be a building or a tree house or any sign of human inhabitants. I had to get down just so that I had something else to concentrate on rather than the disappointment.

Needless to say, the trip down was easier than the trip up and it only took me half the time. It was only around lunch time. I looked off the track to where there was the smallest path through the trees. It was probably an animal track, not even a human track.

I remember what the ranger had told me, "Do not, under any circumstances, leave the tracks." It was ringing in my ears. But there was no way the Denali coven would live anywhere near the national park tracks. There was too much traffic - plenty of animals though.

I tentatively stepped off the track into the surrounding wilderness. I half expected some sort of alarm to go off, or someone to jump out of the solitude and pull me back onto the trail, but nothing happened and I continued to blunder my way through a small amount of forest and then onto a more open area. I didn't think about where my feet were taking me, or how I expected to find my way back to civilisation, but I felt so peaceful and it felt like none of the expectations I had for myself mattered. I didn't want that feeling to go away.

I didn't notice the animal tracks, or the piles of scat, like the ranger had warned me to. I didn't even really notice when I walked back into a forest area, or that the day had turned into afternoon. So when a heard a low growl I wasn't quite sure what was going on. My first thought was of Jacob. That somehow he had found me and was here to drag me home.

I felt my breath catch in my throat when my eyes met with the small, black eyes of a bear. A bear that was standing on its hind legs less than six feet away and growling at _me. _

The bear dropped back to all fours but it didn't take its eyes from me. I was frozen to the spot, paralyzed with fear; I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, as if challenging the bear.

All I could think about was that this was the way Emmett became a vampire. And then I thought about the vampires and that made me think about Jacob. I wasn't going to get eaten by a bear and just never return to Forks. I wanted to come back just to prove to him that I wasn't leaving him again. I promised myself that if that bear didn't eat me I was going to stick to Jacob like super glue. I was going to stay in bed with him for at least a year and then maybe we would venture outside because he will probably be hungry. The only problem was that I had no idea what to do in a bear encounter.

I was suddenly super aware that I could move my feet again. How fast could a bear run? That didn't even matter since I was possibly the slowest runner on earth. That didn't stop me from turning around and bolting for the trees. I pushed my feet against the ground and willed myself to be a fast runner. I've never ran with so much urgency. My stomach twisted itself into knots as I heard the light, yet unmistakable pat of paws against the ground. I stopped running, bracing myself for the impact. I was ready for the claws and teeth to rip me to shreds. I turned slowly around, the bear was right behind me. It had also stopped running. I knew that with a grizzly bear you could fake dead and they would leave you alone but with a black bear you needed to fight them off. I found myself thinking of the irony that I remembered that fact but not how to tell the difference between the two.

This bear had paws as big as my face. I stared at them, unable to look at anything else. It felt like I was looking at the bear for an hour. It was surreal. I could hear it growling but it was like it was from a mile away.

The bear lunged. "Please don't ruin my face," was all I could think as I watched the paws close in. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. I could still hear the bear growling, it was growling like it was fighting, I could hear how angry it was, but I couldn't feel it.

I let myself open one eye, just a fraction, and through my eyelashes I could see the bear, on the ground wrestling with a large, pale shape. I opened my eyes completely and felt my face was wet. I quickly felt my face, to see where the blood was from, but my hands were covered in a clear liquid; tears. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Leighton? Are you hurt?" I felt a cold hand on my arms. I looked from the bear, which was still struggling with the huge person, to Jasper. His beautiful face was etched with concern. I shook numbly and looked back at the bear, which was now lying lifeless on the ground with Emmett on top of it. Emmett grinned widely.

"You took your sweet time," I told him seriously as he hopped off the bear and pulled me into a rib cracking hug. He chuckled. "If you cut it any closer next time I won't have a face."

"Sorry about that," Emmett chuckled. "If it makes you feel any better it was all Jaz'z fault. He tripped!" He laughed, playfully clipping Jasper on the arm. Jasper looked embarrassed. "He's a vampire and he tripped! I knew I should have taken Alice!" Emmett was clutching his sides he was laughing so hard. Jasper shrugged sheepishly.

"What were you smiling about?" he asked me as he swiftly pulled the pack of my shoulders and put it on himself.

"When?"

"Just as Emmett pulled the bear off you. You had this strange grin on your face."

"Oh then," I blushed. "I was just thinking that I was having my face pulled off but I couldn't feel it. I thought that was pretty lucky."

Emmett looked horrified. "Are you serious? Honestly Leighton, I thought you were made of tougher stuff. Don't you kick it with werewolves?"

I poked my tongue out at him. I was still regaining feeling in the rest of my body. I looked at the bear's body; it looked cute lying there, almost like it was sleeping.

"It's cute now," I told them.

"Yeah. Most things are cute when they're not trying to eat you." Emmett laughed, scoping me up into his cold arms.

"Like you," I poked my tongue at him.

"What are you even doing here? Just thought you'd take a stroll through Alaska?"

"It's kind of a long story," I told him. "You need to come back to Forks."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey Everyone. Sorry it's taken so long.... had some internet troubles...**

**Should be back on track now with updates. **

**On a completely different topic I was thinking (dangerous I know!) about what's next after the Leighton Saga finishes since I only have one more after this one and I don't think I'm quite ready to give up fan fiction yet! So I was wondering what you guys like to read...? **

**Here are some thoughts of mine: **

Embry/OC

AH/AU

OCC

Maybe write my original fiction which is incredibly jealous of my fan fic

A prelude of Bella in Phoenix and Edward in Forks

A Jacob/Nessie AH

**So what kind of stuff do you all like?**

**Anyway..that's enough yabbering... happy reading!**

**-Lorrae =)  
**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

"_Talk to me, like you don't know what we ever fought about. Because I don't remember anymore." – _Brightest - Copeland

_Two days later._

"Alice! I can't wear this! It's too small!" Alice sighed at me and was beginning to look like her patience was wearing thin. I could understand it. She was anxious. I was too. I wanted to get home as much as she did.

"It's not too small." She told me flatly. "It fits you just fine!"

"I don't mean that it doesn't fit. I mean that it is way to short! I don't want to go home looking like some sort of hooker!" I saw a brief smile play on Alice's fine lips as she quickly zipped up my back pack. She turned to me her face serious again.

"Just to let you know. That skirt is my favourite from DKNY's last season. It is not a hooker skirt." She said indignantly as I laughed at her passion. "If you had just brought some clothes that I would feel ok with you wearing in public then this would be a problem!" She placed a small, cold hand on my back and pushed me firmly towards the door, my heavy back pack swinging easily from her other hand.

"Don't you mean clothes that you would feel Ok being seen with me in?" I teased her as we joined the others who were waiting for me downstairs. The whole Cullen family, minus Edward, smiled at me broadly as I reached the bottom of the stairs which left me with the distinct feeling I had just interrupted a tense conversation. Rosalie was looking particularly tense and she glared moodily at her feet. She was the least receptive to my surprising appearance, even though we usually got on alright, and after her reaction to my plan of action I wasn't feeling particularly fond of her either. After I had finished telling the Cullen's that there was an imminent attack on Forks coming that the wolves couldn't possibly hold back alone she had answered sulkily, "This isn't our problem anymore!"

I was quite glad when Carlisle told her firmly, "Bella is our family. We would never abandon her while she is in danger. If Edward knew he would never have left. Don't forget Rosalie that it is our fault Bella is in danger."

"Edward's fault," I was sure I heard Rosalie mutter under her breath but everyone pretend they hadn't heard her speak.

"Leighton!" Esme beamed at me as I reached her. She grabbed my hand and held in securely in hers, as if she knew how nervous I was about going home, about seeing Jacob. "Are you ready?"

"Sure," I whispered, though not so enthusiastically because the Denali family had just entered the room and I always found it hard to breathe when they were near me. Individually they were each stunning, but collectively they were so beautiful it hurt to look.

"Carmen, Eleazar, thank you so much for your hospitality." Carlisle said warmly, reaching out to take Carmen's hand. I loved that their skin tones had a hint of olive behind the chalkiness.

"Carlisle! You are welcome here anytime. It was an absolute pleasure to have you visit. And Leighton," she turned to face me, her dark hair perfect against her cheeks, "It was so lovely to meet you. I'm sorry our house isn't more equipped to have human guests."

I laughed. The Denali house didn't have a kitchen. I had been living off the little food I had packed. "That was no problem! Thank you for letting me stay! I know it was unexpected."

"But well worth it!" Said Eleazar, his deep voice rumbling like thunder. "You are a very interesting human and I hope that everything works out for you."

"Thanks," I mumbled as Tanya, with her strawberry blonde curls, and Kate came forward to hug the Cullen's goodbye. Irina was absent. Once she found out that my boyfriend was a wolf, one of the wolves that killed her mate Laurent, she had left the house after demanding that I leave. The goodbye was sweet, but I knew there was a tension that lingered under the surface.

We were meeting Edward at Seattle airport. The ease of getting in contact with him was so simple I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before. _He had a cell phone_. It was genius. Of course he had a cell phone. How could Rosalie have told him that Bella had jumped off the cliff? How could he have called the Swan house when Jacob answered the phone?

"Ok. Let's get on the road. We don't want to miss our flight." Carlisle said as Emmett grinned and swung me easily into his arms.

The airport in Seattle was busy and found myself hovering nervously next to the Cullen's as we waiting at the gate Edward was due to arrive at. The Cullen's all stood unmoving, and the people walking by stared and kept their distance from these pale, beautiful people. They must have looked like statues but I was close enough to see their lips moving quickly, in whispered conversation, unheard by my bad, human hearing.

Suddenly, Emmett's head snapped around, and I jumped with surprise, but he wasn't looking at the gate. Instead he was looking at the endless stream of people who were walking past.

"What is he doing here?" He growled and he audibly sniffed, looking repulsed. I turned and squinted to see what he was looking at. At the end of the corridor, only visible because he was a head taller then the surrounding crowd, was Jacob. My heart thumped in my chest and Jacob stopped walking and turned around as if he heard it calling to him. I was running before I could stop to think. People cried out as I pushed past them in my attempt to get to Jacob faster. I didn't know how he got to be there, but I was taking it as a sign.

"Leighton?" Jacob stared as I pushed the last person out of the way. He was surprised to see me. I could see his browns knitted together, the same way they always did when he was confused, usually it was when he was doing his math homework. I didn't stop to stare back. I launched myself at him, jumping to wrap my arms around his neck. He caught me, wrapping his arms around my waist, as my lips latched on to his, kissing him hungrily. For a second his lips remained motionless under mine, but then they began kissing me back, at first slow, but then building. I never wanted to stop. I was breathless, weightless. After what seemed like forever, Jacob broke away.

"Honey, I have to put you down, you're in a skirt" He grinned and set me carefully on my feet as I adjusting the skirt back down to a respectable level.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, gripping his large hand in mine.

"Looking for you! What are you doing here?"

"Going home to you!"

Jacob smiled, and brushed his lips over my forehead. His eyes skimmed the distance. "I see you brought the Cullens –"

"Jacob!" I growled. I didn't want to fight about this. It was already a miracle that he didn't seem to be too mad at me. "I've already told you. It's necessary!"

Jacob chuckled. "Leighton. It's ok. I don't care."

I stared at him. His voice was calm, even entertained, he didn't seem mad. "Why not?" I asked suspiciously.

"Because I've been thinking –"

"That's dangerous."

Jacob grinned. "I've been thinking and they're not worth it. I just want you. Nothing you could do could stop me wanting you."

I stared. That seemed too simple. Jacob would never think of that by himself. "Who told you that?"

Jacob pretended to look hurt. "Bella." He shrugged guiltily. "We had a great talk when you were gone. She told me that it's being a bigger man to let you hang out with the Cullens." He looked a little confused, like he wasn't sure how that works, but he still held my hand tightly. "But don't get me wrong, if they ever hurt you I will still rip them apart."

I growled."But how did you get here? What about the Alpha command?" I asked breezily as I lead Jacob back to where the Cullen's were standing.

"Yeah, this is strange. I was going out of my mind with worry. I couldn't believe that Sam did that too me. And then, yesterday, when I was just about to explode, Sam retracted the order and let me go. Weird huh?"

I struggled to keep a straight face. "Yeah. That is weird." I said, trying my best to seem like I thought that it was weird. The truth was; I knew that the pack had to stay together. I also knew that Jacob could defy an Alpha command if it troubled him that much. He could break off and be Alpha. I had told Sam if Jacob starts to question your power, let him go. I just didn't want Jacob to know that just yet.

"I think that is Edward's flight," I said after a voice over the PA announced the arrival of a flight from Los Angeles. "I really should be there when he gets in."

Jacob nodded and held my hand tightly as I led the way back to the Cullens who stood watching the endless stream of people leaving the boarding gate.

Carlisle turned and smiled, "Jacob. Nice to see you again." He nodded as Esme held his arm. Jacob stood staring at the gate like he hadn't heard anything. I shook my head in apology and Esme smiled at me encouragingly. I stood on Jacob's toe.

I heard the smallest intake of breath from Alice and I felt Jacob tense beside me. I looked up at the gate as Edward began to walk towards us. He was wearing a loose black t-shirt and black pants, which made his skin, seem even paler. He looked tired. He looked tortured.

He didn't look up as Esme pulled him into what surely was a rib cracking hug. He barely glanced up as Emmett and Jasper embraced him. As all the Cullens finished exchanging greetings with him Edward turned towards me.

"Can you tell me everything?" he said, looking his golden eyes with mine. He sounded worn out, defeated. I didn't understand. He was coming home to Bella, shouldn't he be more enthusiastic?

I untwined my hand from Jacob's and reached out for him, reaching to wrap my hands around his shoulders. I squeezed tightly as Edward tensed underneath me.

"She really misses you," I whispered in his ear.

"I hurt her," he hissed at me quietly. "With my own two hands!" His voice was shaking. I'd never heard him be anything but sure before. It was scary to see him like that.

"You hurt her more when you left. She needs you."

Edward pulled away as Jacob began to growl at our prolonged hug.

"Leighton, let's get going." Jacob reached out for my hand. He reached into my pocket and pulled out my car keys. "I'll drive."

I turned to Alice who was watching Edward carefully. "I'll go to Bella's first." Alice nodded, not taking her eyes off Edward.

"C'mon Jake, let's go home."

"That's the best thing you've said all day," He grinned.

I woke up in Hudson.

"Shit!" I whispered as I pulled myself out of bed. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"What's wrong with you?" Eleanor asked as she opened my bedroom door.

"I must have fallen asleep in the car! I wanted to stay awake!"

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Right. _Twilight_. I should have known,"

"Go away Eleanor," I hissed and she slammed the door. I quickly ran to the bathroom and pulled open the medicine cabinet above the sink. I fingered through some bottles of syrups until I found the bottle I was after. Mum's sleeping pills. Without thinking I poured myself a glass of water and took two.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_"How long do you want to be loved? _

_Is forever enough? Is forever enough?" - Lullaby - Dixie Chicks  
_

"Hey Leighton. Wake up. We're home." Jacob put a warm hand on my shoulder and roused me gently from my sleep. I groggily looked out the passenger window at my house in Forks. _Home. _With a pinch of sadness I saw home empty the house was. Collin and Embry still hadn't come home. "Do you think Bella would stay away from the leech if I asked her?" Jacob asked me. I turned to look at him. He was staring at his hands as they still clutched at the steering wheel, his brows furrowed tightly together. He was genuinely concerned for her. I could see it in how unsure he was of himself.

"Probably not," I told him softly. I reached out and stroked his hair; I knotted my hand into it.

"I thought protecting people from vampires would be easy," he shook his head in disbelief. "It's _really_ hard. Especially when people keep running into their waiting arms." He looked at me. I rolled my eyes. "Bella told me she wants to be _like_ _them_." He growled. The car began to vibrate slightly as Jacob shivered.

"So? Jacob, Bella can make her own choices…"

"She'll be dead!" he growled fiercely.

"She knows what she's sacrificing!" I growled back. This argument was a regular with the wolf pack. "And Edward is on your side! He doesn't want her to do it! Bella is pushing for it. It's what she wants!"

"He left her!" Jacob glowered stubbornly, as he realised he wasn't going to win this fight with me. He was probably going to go off and vent to the pack, or anyone who had the same opinion he did.

"I left you," I reminded him. Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"That was different. It's completely different with you and me."

I laughed in disbelief. I didn't think it was that different at all. Edward and Jacob were both something more than human. They were both completely irresistible. They were both overly protective and they were both going to live forever. I thought the similarities were quite astonishing. I moved over closer to Jacob and he quickly wrapped a long arm around me.

"You're not going to give up, are you?" I whispered to him. I leant my face up to his, resting my nose on his, feeling his breath on my face.

"Nope." He whispered, and then he quickly glanced into the rear view mirror. "Bells is waiting for you."

I turned and looked through the back window. Sure enough, Bella was standing on her porch, looking at Jacob and I in the car.

"Oh no," I whispered, quickly jumping out of the car. Bella's face was expressionless as she stood watching Jacob and I. I realised what she must be thinking, seeing Jacob and I playing nice together. I said I would come back with Edward and he was no where to be seen. I took a step towards her house but Bella took a step away, as she wrapped her arms around herself. For just a brief moment she seemed to let her face reveal her feelings and her eyes crumbled with despair. She was lost.

"You told the leech to wait," I heard Jacob growl, and I was about to tell him to be quiet when my eyes were drawn to where he was looking. Edward was standing just in the shadows of the trees. He was watching Bella carefully, and as a small tear ran down her cheek he stepped out of the trees, and his face crumbled too. It was as if he was feeling everything that she was. In a second he was in front of her, standing at the bottom of the steps. Bella stopped moving. I was sure that she had stopped breathing. For a long moment they just stared at each other, and even though I felt like I was spying on some immensely private moment I couldn't look away either.

Bella reached out and ran one finger down Edward's cheek, as if she was trying to figure out if he was real. As she went to pull her hand away, Edward reached up and grabbed her hand. He pressed it to his cheek and closed his eyes.

"You came back," I heard Bella say, though it was only a whisper. It felt like the whole world had gone quiet for this moment.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Edward whispered back, his voice was full of pain.

"Leighton," Jacob whispered in my ear. "We should go inside."

I knew that Jacob wouldn't want to stay and watch the reunion, but I felt like I wanted to make sure everything went ok. Jacob seemed to know this.

"You've done everything you can. Let them have some privacy. I doubt Charlie will let him inside."

I frowned, but I knew from the way Edward was now looking at Bella, like he'd been in the dark and was seeing light for the first time, that everything would work itself out. He wouldn't be able to leave again. They weren't supposed to be apart.

I let Jacob lead me into my house. It was too quiet without Embry's laughter or Collin's complaining. It was too big for just me.

"Embry was really mad at me," The memory brought a shiver down my spin.

"He'll get over it." Jacob shrugged, as he held my hand and led me up the stairs.

"He seemed really hurt. Are you sure? Have you spoken to him?"

"Not since the day Sam gave us the alpha command, but we were all really mad. The pack felt betrayed. I've tried to tell you Leighton. There isn't any in the middle. It's us or them."

"I'll show you the middle," I grumbled as Jake chuckled. He opened the door to my bedroom. I raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

Jacob didn't even look embarrassed; he just stared at me for a moment with burning eyes. "I missed you." His voice was husky, raw, and I let my eyes rake over his body, drinking in his muscular arms and the way his shirt pulled tight over his chest. For a moment I felt like I might lose control completely. I didn't fight it. I pushed myself against him and kissed him hungrily, twisting my hands in his hair and moaning as his warm hands moved all over my body, like he wanted to touch everywhere at once.

I let my lips leave his and wander over his body, searching for skin that I hadn't yet kissed. Jacob moaned throatily as I kissed him behind his ear.

"We don't have to be anywhere soon?" I whispered, only slightly embarrassed at my panting breath.

"I want to take you somewhere tonight, but that's hours away."

"Hours?" I confirmed as I kissed along his collarbone.

"Hours and Hours," Jacob said dreamily as he lifted his shirt over his head.

"Leighton?" It was Eleanor, standing over my bed; her thin eyebrows were knotted together with concern.

"What?" I groaned, rolling over again. I felt the place where Jacob had been lying behind me, his body curled around mine. This bed was cold and empty. I willed sleep to take me back.

"It's midday. Are you going to get out of bed? Mum's home..." Once upon a time this would have been enough enticement to make me jump out of bed. Mum having a day off work was a rare occasion. And even though each day was always a disappointment it was never enough to make me stop looking forward to them.

"I don't care. Leave me alone." I growled, pulling the blankets over my head.

"Leighton!" Eleanor pulled the blankets off me. "Get up! Lets do something fun!"

I felt anger bubble up inside me. I wasn't sure why, but it was burning my throat. "I said go away." I said coldly and Eleanor recoiled from my words, hurt.

"What's up with you?" She said after a minute, just as bitterly. This made me even madder.

"Do you really want to know? What's wrong is that I want to sleep so I –"

" – can live in your "Twilight" world. _I know._" She rolled her eyes.

"No. Actually I want to sleep because I am tired. Tired of you. Tired of having to spend every waking hour looking out for you. I'm tired of not being able to go out with my friends, because I had to stay home and look after you!"

I didn't know where this was coming from. Was it possible to be store up years of anger and never know that you had it in you?

"You don't have to look after me! And you don't have any friends to go out with anyway!" Eleanor yelled back. She didn't know what we were fighting about. But she rose to the battle anyway.

"Not now. But I did when you were younger. After a while my friends just stopped asking me out and now they've stopped being my friends! I also gave up my grades because by the time I had cooked dinner, helped you with your homework and got you into bed it was midnight before I could do my own homework!"

"Leighton!" Mum gasped, she had just walked into my room to investigate the cause of all the yelling.

"Don't you dare get mad at me!" I screamed as her eyes flashed from a crying Eleanor to me. My hands were shaking I was so angry. I couldn't see straight. "You don't have any right to get angry at me! Not after I have covered for you for all these years! Not after I had to give up being a teenager and raise Eleanor to stop this family falling apart altogether! Not after I spent night after night telling Eleanor that you were too important at your job to leave work in time to tuck her in to bed, just so that she would go to sleep thinking her mum was some kind of hero instead of a coward who would rather work late for free than come home and spend time with her children."

I wasn't crying. My vice was cold and calculated. It was like another person had stepped into my body. A person who was still holding onto everything that I thought I had let go of.

"Leighton –" Mum started again. She was pale. She looked scared. I didn't care.

"No! I did everything that both of you wanted for years and years! So if I want to stay in bed for today, or all year, you don't have any right to stop me!"

I was panting, but not in the sweet, ecstatic was I did when Jacob was inside of me. This was different. Mum turned and walked away. She was always good at that. Eleanor stared at me for a second, like she had never seen me before. And then she turned and walked for the door.

"Next time you go back to Forks, do us all a favour and stay there." She said bitterly as she slammed my door shut.

"Believe me I've tried." I muttered darkly to myself as I pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills that I hid under my pillow. I swallowed three.

_How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough? Is forever enough?_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**

Hi Everyone! Finally another chapter for you!

Thanks for all the reviews of last chapter! I've been busy and haven't been able to reply to all of them but I'm getting to answering any questions now.

For this chapter, the excerpt is for Eclipse, by Stephanie Meyer.

No copyright infringement was intended.

(I think its funny since I'm studying law hoping to specialize in Intellectual Property Law [copyright]. I should look up fan fiction. hehe)

Anyway, hope you are all well!

Happy reading!

:Lorrae =)

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Hey sleepy head," Jacob stroked my forehead as I drifted back to Forks.

"Hey," I smile drowsily. I rolled over to face Jacob and the bed sheet that covered me fell to the floor leaving me completely naked. I didn't mind. Jacob was naked too, stretched out lazily. I let my eyes drink him in slowly. He was so amazing that my breath caught in my throat.

Jacob pulled me in closer, his body wrapping around mine and surrounding me with warmth. "You've slept a lot today," Jacob commented as he traced small circles on my bare shoulder. I tried to concentrate but he was making it very hard to.

"Yeah. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while."

"How long?" His voice was throaty and laced with concern.

A few years, I thought. But I shook my head. There were bigger things to worry about then how much sleep I was getting. "The past few days have been tough, that's all. I'm fine now." I reassured him. But he still watched me with concerned eyes.

"Will you be ok to come out to La Push tonight?"

I wrapped my hands around his waist, letting them rest on his tight bum. I grinned at him, but he just stared back, still worried.

"C'mon Jake. Lighten up a little. I'm fine. What's at La Push tonight?"

"It's sort of like a tribal meeting. It's for the new pack members. Quil, Seth and Leah. We just eat and then Billy tells tribal stories. I've heard it all before though, we don't have to go."

"Yes we do!" I gave him a quick kiss as I crawled over him to get to my closet. "I don't have any food in the house. We'd starve." Food was always a good way to convince Jacob of anything. As if on cue I heard his stomach growl loudly.

"Now you mention it. I do feel a little weak." He grinned. It was such a natural grin that I was suddenly taken back to before he changed into a werewolf. I remembered when his face was rounder, more care free. I remembered how I used to snuggle into him when his body was soft and his temperature the same as mine. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Well we can't have that!" I laughed as I pulled on some jeans.

"We still have a little time," Jacob got out of bed and walked towards me, still completely naked. I tried to keep my eyes on his face. He held my face in his hands and kissed me. "We don't have to go right away..." He let his voice trail off, lost in a storm of kisses.

"Ok." I agreed, as Jacob lifted me up so I was sitting on my dresser.

* * *

"Are you going to eat that hot dog?" Paul asked Jacob, his eyes locked on the last remnant of the huge meal the werewolves had consumed.

Jacob leaned back and toyed with the hot dog he had spitted on a straightened wire hanger; the flames of the bonfire licked along its blistered skin. He heaved a sigh and patted his stomach. It was somehow still flat, even though he'd eaten enough hot dogs to feed a small third war nation. Not to mention the super-sized bag of chips and the two litre bottle of root beer.

"I guess," Jake said slowly. "I'm so full I'm about to puke, but I _think_ I can force it down. I won't enjoy it at all though." He sighed sadly.

Despite the fact that Paul had eaten at least as much as Jacob, he glowered and his hands balled up into fists.

"Sheesh." Jacob laughed. "Kidding, Paul. Here."

He flipped the homemade skewer across the circle and Paul caught it neatly without any difficulty.

"Thanks, man," Paul said, already over his brief fit of temper.

I leant back against Jacob and looked up at the sky, a million stars spread out, glimmering against the darkness. Jacob reached out and casually wrapped an arm around me. It was such a natural movement that I snuggled into him closer, putt my head against his chest and listened to his heart beat, but when I looked back at the rest of the Quileutes they all looked away quickly, trying to pretend that they hadn't been staring. Except Embry, he continued to stare, his dark eyes troubled.

I had been scared when I arrived at the cliff top meeting place. I was nervous that everyone would hate me. I hadn't done anything that I hadn't told them I was going to do but Embry's parting words were still burning in mind. But when I arrived everyone seemed to be fine. Quil and Seth acted like nothing had happened at all. Sam gave me a nod but Emily embraced me like a long lost sister. All Embry had for me was stony silence. Whenever my eyes met his I had to look away quickly, as if I was in trouble for doing something I shouldn't have.

No one mentioned the fact that the Cullens had returned to Forks – even though I knew that they were al thinking about it. Billy had smiled at me warmly from his position at the head of the circle and Old Quil greeted me warmly.

"It's great to meet you Leighton," He said in a low voice as he clutched my hand between his fragile hands. His white hair danced in the wind. "I've heard so much about you."

I was going to ask him what exactly he had heard about me but I swept away by Sue Clearwater who embraced me for a long time, whispering "Thank you, Thank you." over and over again. Eventually Harry pulled her away from me.

"Harry, you look well." I smiled at him. He did look well. He had lost quite a lot of weight and he seemed to be glowing.

"All thanks to you," he laughed, ruffling my hair. He had gone to the doctors and eventually had open heart surgery. Sam had to explain to them about my "Gift" but I didn't mind so much. This was why I was here; to help people.

Kim caught my eye and smiled quickly, before she turned back to look at Jared, who was whispering sweet nothings in her ear. In that moment I finally realised how much I was missing out on knowing that I was not going to be the girl that Jacob imprints on. The commitment that Jared showed while looking at Kim was something so much more then choosing someone to be with. It totally bypassed _wanting_ someone. It was like it was biological. It was like everything about him was made to love her.

Jacob had merely chosen to be with me. There were probably a million other girls in the world he could love just as much as he loved me. I could think of one right off the top of me head. But he wasn't made to be with me. The thought made me sad.

Billy cleared his throat, and Emily hurried to pull out her notebook and pen. "The Quileutes have been small people from the beginning." Billy said, in his rich, deep voice. The word poured out with precision, as if he knew them by heart. I settled into Jacob. I had read this story before, but being in the atmosphere of the camp fire made it feel completely new again. "And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape shifting – that came later. First, we were spirit warriors."

"In the beginning, the tribe settled in this harbor and became skilled ship builders and fishermen. But the tribe was small, and the harbor was rich in fish. There were other who coveted our land and we were too small to hold it. A larger tribe moved against us and we took to our ships to escape them.

"Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember stories that came before his. We do not remember who was the first to discover this power, or how it had been used before this crisis. Kaheleha _was_ the first great Spirit Chief in our history. In this emergency, Kaheleha used the magic to defend our land.

"He and all his warriors left the ship – not their bodies, but their spirits. Their woman watched over the bodies and the waves, and the men took their spirits back to our harbor.

They could not physically touch the enemy tribe, but they had other ways. The stories tell us that they could blow fierce winds into their enemy's camps; they could make a great screaming in the wind that terrified their foes. The stories also tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them; the animals would do their bidding. "Kaheleha took his spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders. This invading tribe had packs of big, thick-furred dogs that they used to pull their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their masters and then brought a mighty infestation of bats up from the cliff caverns. They used the screaming wind to aid the dogs in confusing the men. The dogs and bats won. The survivors scattered, calling our harbor a cursed place. The dogs ran wild when the spirit warriors released them. The

Quileutes returned to their bodies and their wives, victorious. "The other nearby tribes, the Hohs and the Makahs, made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic. We lived in peace with them. When an enemy came against us, the spirit warriors would drive them off. "Generations passed. Then came the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care.

"But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content." A low hiss ran around the fire. I was too slow to see where it came from. Billy ignored it and went on with the legend. "Utlapa was one of Chief Taha Aki's strongest spirit warriors — a powerful man, but a grasping man, too. He thought the people should use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and the Makahs and build an empire.

"Now, when the warriors were their spirit selves, they knew each other's thoughts. Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed, and was angry with Utlapa. Utlapa was commanded to leave the people, and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa was a strong man, but the chief's warriors outnumbered him. He had no choice but to leave. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the chief.

"Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to a sacred, secret place in the mountains. He would leave his body behind and sweep down through the forests and along the coast, making sure no threat approached.

"One day when Taha Aki left to perform this duty, Utlapa followed. At first, Utlapa simply planned to kill the chief, but this plan had its drawbacks. Surely the spirit warriors would seek to destroy him, and they could follow faster than he could escape. As he hid in the rocks and watched the chief prepare to leave his body, another plan occurred to him.

"Taha Aki left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Utlapa waited until he was sure the chief had traveled some distance with his spirit self.

"Taha Aki knew it the instant that Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa's murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren't fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa's body lay abandoned, but Utlapa had not left Taha Aki with an escape — he had cut his own body's throat with Taha Aki's hands.

"Taha Aki followed his body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa, but Utlapa ignored him as if he were mere wind.

"Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as chief of the Quileutes. For a few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki. Then the changes began — Utlapa's first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world. He claimed that he'd had a vision of danger, but really he was afraid. He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting for the chance to tell his story. Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world himself, knowing Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. So his dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were impossible, and he sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe. He became a burden — seeking privileges that Taha Aki had never requested, refusing to work alongside his warriors, taking a young second wife and then a third, though Taha Aki's wife lived on — something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury.

"Eventually, Taha Aki tried to kill his body to save the tribe from Utlapa's excesses. He brought a fierce wolf down from the mountains, but Utlapa hid behind his warriors. When the wolf killed a young man who was protecting the false chief, Taha Aki felt horrible grief. He ordered the wolf away.

"All the stories tell us that it was no easy thing to be a spirit warrior. It was more frightening than exhilarating to be freed from one's body. This is why they only used their magic in times of need. The chief's solitary journeys to keep watch were a burden and a sacrifice. Being bodiless was disorienting, uncomfortable, horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for so long at this point that he was in agony. He felt he was doomed — never to cross over to the final land where his ancestors waited, stuck in this torturous nothingness forever.

"The great wolf followed Taha Aki's spirit as he twisted and writhed in agony through the woods. The wolf was very large for its kind, and beautiful. Taha Aki was suddenly jealous of the dumb animal. At least it had a body. At least it had a life. Even life as an animal would be better than this horrible empty consciousness.

"And then Taha Aki had the idea that changed us all. He asked the great wolf to make room for him, to share. The wolf complied. Taka Aki entered the wolf's body with relief and gratitude. It was not his human body, but it was better than the void of the spirit world.

"As one, the man and the wolf returned to the village on the harbor. The people ran in fear, shouting for the warriors to come. The warriors ran to meet the wolf with their spears. Utlapa, of course, stayed safely hidden.

"Taha Aki did not attack his warriors. He retreated slowly from them, speaking with his eyes and trying to yelp the songs of his people. The warriors began to realize that the wolf was no ordinary animal, that there was a spirit influencing it. One older warrior, a man name Yut, decided to disobey the false chief's order and try to communicate with the wolf.

"As soon as Yut crossed to the spirit world, Taha Aki left the wolf — the animal waited tamely for his return — to speak to him. Yut gathered the truth in an instant, and welcomed his true chief home.

"At this time, Utlapa came to see if the wolf had been defeated. When he saw Yut lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by protective warriors, he realized what was happening. He drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body.

"'Traitor,' he screamed, and the warriors did not know what to do. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys, and it was the chief's decision how to punish those who disobeyed.

"Yut jumped back into his body, but Utlapa had his knife at his throat and a hand covering his mouth. Taha Aki's body was strong, and Yut was weak with age. Yut could not say even one word to warn the others before Utlapa silenced him forever.

"Taha Aki watched as Yut's spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred to Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he'd felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapa's throat out. But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened.

"Taha Aki's anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too vast for the wolf's body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and — before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa — transformed into a man.

"The new man did not look like Taha Aki's body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation of Taha Aki's spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki's spirit.

"Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body.

"The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quickly set everything right, working again with his people and giving the young wives back to their families. The only change he kept in place was the end of the spirit travels. He knew that it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

"From that point on, Taha Aki was more than either wolf or man. They called him Taha Aki the Great Wolf, or Taha Aki the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside."

"So that's why Sam is all black," Quil muttered under his breath, grinning. "Black heart, black fur."

. The fire threw a volley of sparks into the sky, and they shivered and danced, making shapes that were almost decipherable.

"And your chocolate fur reflects what?" Sam whispered back to Quil. "How _sweet_ you are?"

Billy ignored their jibes. "Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men's lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her his true spirit wife. Though he had loved the others, this was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did.

"That is how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of the story. . . ."

He looked at Old Quil Ateara, who shifted in his chair, straightening his frail shoulders. Billy took a drink from a bottle of water and wiped his forehead. Emily's pen never hesitated as she scribbled furiously on the paper.

"That was the story of the spirit warriors," Old Quil began in a thin tenor voice. "This is the story of the third wife's sacrifice.

"Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs. Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other's

thoughts while in their wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began.

"Taha Wi led the five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They came across something they had never encountered before — a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain."

I shrank a little closer to Jacob's side. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch with humor, and his arm tightened around me.

"They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it," Old Quil continued. His quavering voice did not have the majesty of Billy's, but it had a strange, fierce edge of urgency about it. My pulse jumped as his words came faster.

"They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for.

"The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki.

"Taha Wi and his two brothers did not return.

"The younger brothers searched for their elders, but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons' death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and tensions ended between the tribes.

"A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again.

"Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taka Aki's third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileutes — a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood, even those who had never been wolves, could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs.

"Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature's arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red.

"Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them.

"But the creature learned quickly, and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta's brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature's throat, and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off the creature, but the hands continued to mangle his brother.

"Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed.

"Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature's granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece, trying to reassemble itself.

"Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide — some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again."

Old Quil paused and looked at Billy. Billy pulled out a leather thong from around his neck. Hanging from the end was a small bag, blackened with age. A few people gasped. I might have been one of them.

"They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They only had one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta.

"They did not have long to wait. The creature had a mate, another blood drinker, who came to the Quileutes seeking revenge.

"The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her.

"She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki's blood among the witnesses but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first.

"There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman's approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood, and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in counsel with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife.

"Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, his sons, and his elders followed behind him.

"At first they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she'd appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor.

"A handful of the Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broke them, too.

"She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and asked another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited.

"It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone — there was no one to distract her fury from him.

"When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifted into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Spirit Man, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again.

"Taha Aki's third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She'd heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council. She'd heard the story of Yaha Uta's first victory, and knew that his brother's diversion had saved him.

"The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed.

"The third wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the death blow to Taha

Aki.

"And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart.

"Blood spurted through the third wife's fingers and splashed against the Cold Woman. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of the fresh blood leaving the third wife's body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for one second entirely consumed by thirst.

"Taha Aki's teeth closed around her neck.

"That was not the end of the fight, but Taha Aki was not alone now. Watching their mother die, two young sons felt such rage that they sprang forth as their spirit wolves, though they were not yet men. With their father, they finished the creature.

"Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to a man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the third wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned.

"Trouble with the cold ones was rare from that time on. Taha Aki's sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough. Occasionally a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise, not expecting the wolves. Sometimes a wolf would die, but never were they decimated again like that first time. They'd learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son.

"Time passed, and the descendants of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return. The cold ones always came in ones and twos, and the pack stayed small.

"A bigger coven came, and your own great-grandfathers prepared to fight them off. But the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as other blood drinkers. The wolves were outnumbered; there was no need for the cold ones to offer a treaty when they could have won the fight. Ephraim accepted. They've stayed true to their side, though their presence does tend to draw in others.

"And their numbers have forced a larger pack than the tribe has ever seen,"

Old Quil said, and for one moment his black eyes, all but buried in the wrinkles of skin folded around them, seemed to rest on me. "Except, of course, in Taha Aki's time," he said, and then he sighed. "And so the sons of our tribe again carry the burden and share the sacrifice their fathers endured before them." All was silent for a long moment. The living descendants of magic and legend stared at one another across the fire with sadness in their eyes. All but one.

"Burden," he scoffed in a low voice. "I think it's cool." Quil's full lower lip pouted out a little bit. Across the dying fire, Seth Clearwater — his eyes wide with adulation for the fraternity of tribal protectors — nodded his agreement. Billy chuckled, low and long, and the magic seemed to fade into the glowing embers. Suddenly, it was just a circle of friends again. Jared flicked a small stone at Quil, and everyone laughed when it made him jump. Low conversations murmured around us, teasing and casual. Leah Clearwater's eyes did not open. I thought I saw something sparkling on her cheek like a tear, but when I looked back a moment later it was gone. Neither Jacob nor I spoke. He was so still beside me, his breath so deep and even, that I thought he might be close to sleep. But when I turned to him he was looking down at me, carefully studying my reaction.

"That was amazing," I told him, kissing his cheek. It really was. I already knew the story was amazing but the atmosphere was something beyond words.

"Yeah," Jacob shrugged, but his eyes were dancing like the flames from the fire. "It's pretty cool."

"Hey Jake. Can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Sam. He looked briefly at me before turning his attention back to Jacob. "It's pack stuff."

Jacob frowned for a moment, as if he was considering saying no. I shoved him up. I didn't want to be the reason for more tension in the pack.

"I'll be back in a minute," He whispered, his lips grazing my forehead, before he disappeared in the trees with Sam.

For a moment I sat awkwardly around the fire, suddenly intently aware of my presence without Jacob as a buffer between me and the rest of the group. Everyone was chatting and laughing with each other but no one was talking to me. I felt like a complete outsider where I had once felt right at home.

"Leighton," Billy rolled next to me.

"Billy. That was an amazing story." I breathed.

Billy smiled. "We have a rich tribal history. Sometimes I wish that this could have happened in my generation."

"Jacob does seem to have a lot of fun," I agreed. I noticed that we were both ignoring the part where he could die; they could all die.

"Jacob is a big part of the pack, Leighton. Did you know that he should be the Alpha?" Billy was suddenly serious.

I nodded. "Yeah. He didn't want to be, though."

Billy shook his head. "He doesn't have much of a choice. He was born to be a leader and one day he was embrace it. It's in his blood."

"He'll be good at it too,"

Billy nodded. "Jacob really loves you."

It wasn't a question. "I really love him too." I promised.

"He wants to give up his wolf form to be with you," Billy looked at me seriously, measuring my reaction. I was shocked. Jacob had never mentioned that he wanted to stop phasing. I knew that he resented it at first but he never seemed angry anymore.

"I didn't know that," I whispered. I suddenly felt ashamed. I didn't want Jacob to give this up for me.

"The pack needs Jacob. Especially in times like this. They can't afford to lose such a crucial pack member."

I nodded. Jacob was supposed to be their leader.

"You need to talk him out of it," Billy told me. It wasn't a question, or a suggestion. It was something he expected me to do. "I love you like a daughter Leighton. And Jake has never been happier then when he is with you. But this is about the tribe's safety. We all have to make sacrifices to keep the tribe safe. "

I nodded. I understood what he was saying. Underneath his words there was a hidden meaning. You're not an imprint. You'll grow old and die while Jacob stays young and lives forever.

"I don't know what to do to convince him…." I said, uncertain. Jacob barely took anything I said seriously as it is.

"Anything it takes." Billy said solemnly. Beneath his expressionless face I could see sadness in his eyes.

_Anything it takes._


	17. Chapter 17

Hi All!

Now... Have I ever mentioned that in my opinion you all are the best readers on this site!!! Everyday I get a new message or review that completely brightens up my day. The fact that one person likes your work enough to express it to you is so incredible... I can't describe the feeling.. if your an author you know what I'm talking about. So thank you so much! This story is how it is because of you!

Just yesterday a reader, Yifrodit, blew me away by making me some banners for Gravity! (Seven to be exact!) They are incredible, and way better than the crappy one that I attempted! I was really interested to see how she imagined Leighton! _**(Thank you again Yifrodit!!)**_ So the links to the banners are on my profile...go and check them out and let me know what you think. I'd also be very interested in what you imagine Leighton to look like...if there's a particular actress or someone... =)

Also...New Moon the movie is out!!! Have you all seen it yet??? I haven't seen it yet....I am waiting till I go and visit a friend so we can see it together...but I have to say that the reviews here in Australia aren't that amazing! They are saying it is a bit of a flop compared to the Catherine Hardwick's "Twilight" movie!

What did you all think???

Ok So maybe I'll let you read now! =)

Have a nice day!!! Thanks for all the support!

**Lorrae **

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

I had never really thought that much about getting old. I definitely hadn't thought about getting old in Forks. I had always assumed that my existence in Forks was temporary. I had never thought about it outside the timeline of the books. But since the night of the bonfire it was all I could think about and it was driving me insane.

What if I didn't suddenly cease to exist once Breaking Dawn drew to a close? What happened to me if I just continued to wake up in Forks long after Bella was a vampire and Jacob had imprinted? Would I just have to suddenly start having a normal life here? Could I really give Jacob up?

That was where I always got caught up. I passed off all my other questions. Maybe I could have a normal life here. But even if Jacob somehow managed to stay away from Nessie forever I would still get older while he's in a 20-year-old's body forever. We could pass that off for a while but it would be hard to be sixty and have a husband that looked 20. Would I have to pretend he was my son? The thought plagued me. And I knew that it would kill Jacob to watch me get old and frail while he stayed young.

A part of me wanted to approach Billy and ask him if he knew what he had done to me. I didn't know what he wanted me to do. _Whatever it takes. _That was too general. I needed him to be more specific! What would it take?

"LEIGHTON!" Jacob turned from where he was sitting at the foot of the sofa. I jumped and knocked my pencil case off the lounge.

"Shit Jake! Don't startle me!" I bent over to pick up the case but Jacob had caught it before it hit the ground.

"Startle you?" he laughed as he handed it back to me. "I've been talking to you for an hour!"

I laughed at his confused expression. "Sorry. Your voice is like a lullaby. It always puts me straight to sleep." I said dryly, winking at his mock hurt.

"Yeah, you're funny." He rolled his eyes and looked over at my note pad where I was furiously scribbling a design I just couldn't get out of my head. "What _is _that?"

"It's a dress I'm designing!" I quickly closed the note book. It wasn't very good anyway.

"It looks like something someone would wear to a wedding." Jacob made a face. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"It is something you would wear to a wedding," I laughed. "Its something a bride would wear to a wedding."

"A wedding dress?" Jacob asked, now curious. He tried to snatch the pad out of my hands but I sat on it.

"Do you really think that will stop me seeing it?" He looked amused.

I shrugged indifferently as he easily pulled the pad out from under me, pulling me onto his lap in the process.

"That's pretty," he said, looking carefully at the sketch.

"That's not it." I laughed, flipping the page to where the sketch in question was. It was a stupid dress. I couldn't imagine myself design bridal gowns, and this particular style was nothing like what I liked in wedding dresses. It was long, with a train at the back, not ridiculously long, but long enough to be an inconvenience in the bridal waltz. It was strapless. The only thing that was close to my style was that it was cream rather then white. I pictured it having delicate embroidery staring along the bodice and growing to take over the skirt. But the frills that I pictures on the chest – golden and like leaves – seemed to ruin the sleek, less is more, style that I liked. This dress wasn't me at all, but for some reason I couldn't shake it off.

"That's nice too," Jacob said; his large fingers touched the picture lightly. "But what's that at the front?"

I groaned and quickly pulled the book out of his grasp. Jacob dived after it, carefully holding himself off me as I crawled across the carpet, aiming for the fireplace. I wasn't cut out for fashion design. I needed peace and quite to do any work. There was never any of that around.

"Hey. Not so fast!" Jacob chuckled as he grabbed my feet and pulled me back towards him. "Leighton. Drop the notebook." He carefully prised the book from my grasp, kissing each finger as he removed it.

"That's not fair. You know I can't concentrate when you're this close." I whispered. Jacob's nose was touching mine. He was grinning triumphantly.

Everything was perfect. Jacob was with me. Edward was home. Jacob was with me. Victoria wouldn't win. Jacob was with me. I realised that I didn't need to fret about what he was thinking. I could just ask him. It was _Jacob. _

"Are you thinking about not phasing anymore?" I asked him. I felt him tense around me, his brow knitted together like it always did when he was thinking.

"I was..." he admitted reluctantly. "But that was before those leeches came back –"

"Jacob!" I scolded him. He shrugged, rolling off me to lie on the floor next to me.

"What! I never asked for this! I thought that if there weren't any bloodsu-"

"C'mon Jake."

"Fine. I thought that if there weren't any vampires around I could just go back to being normal." He shrugged. I could tell that it still hurt him sometimes. That he still didn't like what he was. "The pack is growing. I thought that they wouldn't need me. But since the leeches are back it doesn't matter anymore."

He sighed. It sounded so defeated. It made me feel guilty. "You still have the choice... I mean... You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

I reached out to hold his hand. Jacob laughed, but it was hollow. "I don't have the control to stop phasing when they're around. One whiff of Cullen makes me want to burst out of my skin."

"Oh well. I guess you'll just have to live forever then..."

"I don't want to live forever if you don't." My heart melted. We'd been together over a year but I could never get used to how incredible he was. Everyday I saw something new about him, something amazing.

"Well... I... Umm..." I croaked.

Suddenly Jacob tensed and a low growl ripped from his throat. I followed his eyes to the door, seeing what my human senses hadn't noticed – wouldn't have noticed.

She looked wild. That was all I seemed to be able to think as Jacob exploded next to me. She smiled playfully as she crouched, eyeing off the giant wolf as her red hair swirled in the wind.

I was paralysed. I couldn't make a sound. All I could think about was that I hadn't heard her come in.

Jacob growled again, and took a testing step towards Victoria. Not towards here, I realised, he was putting himself between her and me.

I wanted to reach out and tell him to go away. I wanted to tell him to go home. But I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at Victoria, who was watching me as well, though always keeping Jacob in her sites.

"You smell disgusting!" She growled, looking at Jacob reproachfully. She pulled a face at me. Was that a smile? Jacob growled in response, low and fierce. "Please. Get away from me, dog. I just came to pass on a message to Leighton here."

She smiled at me again, though there wasn't anything happy about it. It made my knees feel weak and made my stomach twist into knots.

"Thanks for the tip," She grinned as she dangled a piece of red fabric that I didn't realise she was holding. What was that? I couldn't see because she had disappeared out the doorway again.

Jacob lunged for her, making me suck in a breath. He pulled back with a piece of the red fabric in his teeth. He was going to go after her. I could tell as his huge wolf form tensed to spring into pursuit.

"Don't leave me!" I shouted at him. I didn't care if it was cowardly. I didn't care if Bella could handle being hunted and still somehow be gracious and brave. I was still scared of things that went bump in the night. I couldn't watch horror movies. Victoria scared me. The way she could turn up at anytime and I couldn't see her or fight her off. It was terrifying to be so helpless.

The giant wolf turned to me. I could see Jacob in his dark eyes. "Please Jacob," I whispered. My hands were shaking so I put them firmly in my pockets. "Don't leave me."

For a moment I thought that he was going to go anyway. He put his giant head out the door, I realised that he was too big for the door way, to get out he would have to literally break through some of the wall. He let out a howl into the night. It sent a shiver down my spin.

Where is Bella? I though crazily. Is Bella OK? I ran to the door to look across at the Swan house. Everything looked quiet. I could see Charlie watching TV in the lounge room. I always told him he should draw the blinds. Bella's bedroom light was off.

Jacob nudged me in the back with his head. I turned around and buried my head in his fur, breathing in the scent. I needed to learn how to breathe again.

Jacob continued to nudge me in the back until I finally got the message that he wanted me to move away from the door. I turned back to the lounge room. Jacob had turned the lounge over. I looked at the lounge that was lying on its side, far from where it usually sat. Jacob must have turned it when he phased. I didn't even notice.

I sat down on the floor instead, not trusting my legs to hold me up anymore. What just happened?

I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Victoria's satisfied grin when she held up that bit of material. She looked pleased. She looked too pleased.

I tangled my hands in my hair and pulled at it – the throb of pain seemed to make it easier to think. Jacob growled and stopped his frantic pacing to push my hands away with his muzzle.

His ears perked up suddenly and he went to the door. I could tell by the way he relaxed that the rest of the pack must be here. Jacob looked longingly from the door to me and then I blinked and he was Jacob again.

"The pack's here now. I'll be right back." He told me. I nodded as he quickly ran outside. I wondered what the neighbours must think, since Jacob was naked from phasing with his clothes on.

Not two minutes later Seth walked inside. He looked unhappy as he buttoned up his cut off jeans.

"Jacob wants me to stay with you!" he complained but after he looked at me his expression turned to concern. "Are you OK Leighton? Jacob said you weren't hurt..."

"I'm fine." I managed to squeak.

"Are you sure? You're kinda pale...."

"I need a shower." I told him. Seth looked confused. But I needed to think. The shower was always where I did my best thinking.

"Ok. I'll wait down here for you."

"No." I said quickly. Seth looked even more confused. "Can you check that there's no one upstairs?" I said quietly. I could feel myself blushing. But I couldn't help it. I was actually scared to go upstairs in my own house.

Seth gallantly entered every upstairs room, with me cowering behind him, not wanting to be left downstairs alone. I think that Seth was secretly hoping that there would be something hiding in the dark. He looked into the bathroom awkwardly.

"It's all clear Leighton... where would you like me to wait?"

"Right here," I told him as I went and turned the shower on. Seth paused for a moment, watching me as I hopped into the shower fully clothed. I couldn't see his expression but I heard him slide down the wall and land on the tiles.

I don't know how long I sat in the shower, letting the cold water fall onto my face and soak through my clothes. I let everything that had happened run through my head over and over again. I tried to remember things that I hadn't noticed the first time. I tried to think back to everything that had happened before tonight. I tried to think about what happens in the books. Nothing made sense anymore.

Later on, maybe a few minutes later or maybe a few hours later, Jacob came into the bathroom and slid into the shower next to me. He silently wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"She got away" He told me. I already knew she would have. "The pack is trying to follow her scent but she is gone."

I nodded and rested my head on his chest.

"We have to go and talk to the Cullens now,"

"It can wait until tomorrow." Jacob said gently, but firmly.

"No. It has to be now."

"Why?"

"Because Victoria knows."

"Knows about what?" Jacob said, lifting my head to look at him. He was Beta Jacob now. He wanted to know if I knew something to help the pack.

"She knows about the wolves." The thought had hit me suddenly. This was what I had been dreading.

_She knows._


	18. Chapter 18

Hi Everyone! Thanks for waiting so long for this post!

As I told some of you I was away all last week (My Brother graduated Uni!) and I went house hunting (Am about to move in with two of my brothers, so if i stop posting suddenly it could be because I have spontaniously combusted.!)

I went and saw "New Moon". I'm not sure if the story line is the best out of the four books to be turned into a movie (in terms of having a building story line etc). And I took my mum along who hasn't read any twilight books and she has no idea what they are about and she didn't understand anything about it, so i think it is for the fans. But along that lines visually it is amazing and the CGI is incredible. They did a great job with the wolves. I'm looking forward to see Eclipse.

Another reason why this post was so late is because every time I log on I have a small novel of a review to read. Haha. I love it. Keep them coming.

Also, Yifrodit has done another incredible job of making some fan art for Gravity. This time in the form of a video on YouTube. The links are on my profile. Its great, if I do say so myself.

=) Happy reading. I hope you have all been well!

Lorrae Xx

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

"As you all probably know by now, when I moved here I knew things that I couldn't explain, things that hadn't happened yet." I paused and looked around at the group in front of me. The wolves were to my right, standing downwind from the Cullens. I could see how tense they were. Sam wouldn't stop growling. The only one who was relaxed was Seth. When he had arrived he had taken a brief glance at the Cullens before he dropped to the ground with a sigh. Now he had rolled onto his back exposing his fury stomach. Maybe he was the reason Sam was growling.

Jacob shook his head from where he stood next to me. He didn't want to be in his wolf form for this. He wanted to be human so he could hold my hand. He had chosen to stay human for me.

"What is he? A golden retriever?" Jacob growled into my ear, making me smile. The Cullens looked over at the pack from where they were standing, looking at me seriously. Edward chuckled lightly and Bella looked at his confused. She was the only one who hadn't heard Jacob's hushed whisper.

The Cullens had confirmed that Victoria had been in Bella's room; Edward had reluctantly let the wolves head the pursuit of her. I could tell that he was torn between chasing down Victoria and never letting Bella out of his sight. He seemed thoroughly horrified that Victoria was after Bella. Carlisle seemed to be more interested in what it was that I knew, and why I was telling it now. Sometimes I got the impression that he was only interested in me as a case study.

"Before I came here I had a dream about Forks and everything that happens here for the next two and a half years. The only problem with my 'dream' is that I wasn't in it, and things are…different now…" I drifted off. I had already decided what I was going to tell them. I was going to tell them everything. It was the only advantage we had over Victoria, who seemed to know more than she should too. Jacob squeezed my hand. I had already told him this earlier. I didn't want anything I said to surprise him in front of everyone. I wanted to tell him first. "So I want to tell you how I saw things happen, and what I think might be happening now, because there is something big coming to Forks and we need to ready." I shudder. I didn't want to think about them fighting the newborns. The thought was chilling. Jacob was still hurt in that battle, because he was brave, reckless and stubborn. What if it was something worse this time around?

"So I guess that the most logical place to start is the beginning." I smiled, feeling the smallest pang of stage fright. Edward shifted Bella on his lap so that he could lean in closer, Jasper's face was full of concentration and even Seth rolled over and sat up to look at me.

And so I started at the beginning, taking them step by step through my first few months in Forks, only skipping out on the small detail that I continue to go back to the "real world". This part was easy. Nothing happened that was particularly different. I told them about how I saw Sam in the woods at La Push and had revealed part of my secret to him. I told them about how I had slipped sometimes and let Edward know that I knew something that I shouldn't. When I got to the part about Victoria I felt incredibly guilty as I let them know that I knew all along that she was coming and I never warned anyone. Even when I knew how badly hurt Bella would get. I saw Edward's eyes flash with anger as I told everyone how in my Forks "dream" Bella is badly beaten and bitten by James. I felt like I couldn't get to the part where I helped Bella fast enough. I tried to explain how I didn't want to change what happened in the "dream" because everything worked out OK in the end. The guilt had gotten too much for me eventually and I explained how I had intercepted her in the office, delaying her for just a moment. I felt Jacob tense beside me as I explained how Victoria seemed to develop a curiosity for what I knew. She followed me to the beach. She broke my fingers. Sam growled at this, and Seth let out a yelp. Embry's wolf just stared through me.

I was amazed at how calm I felt telling everyone. It was almost like it was a relief. After this I wouldn't have to make anymore decisions. Someone else could start to make the hard choices. Someone else could figure out what was wrong.

Then I arrived at the hard part. I explained how in my 'dream' Bella got a paper cut on her finger and Jasper reacted badly to this. This prompted Edward into leaving.

Jasper stared placidly ahead. This wasn't news to him. I had warned Alice. I asked her not to ask questions just to keep Jasper away and make sure Bella didn't get a paper cut. She had been outstanding with her lack of questions. I told them all this too. I told them that I had decided that maybe I could change one moment and that was Edward leaving Bella, because the implications of it were severe and irreversible.

Edward hung his head at this and gripped Bella extra tightly. She shook her head at him. I wasn't surprised that she was taking everything in stoically, while my hands were shaking like a leaf in the wind.

I had gone into detail with Jacob about the real implications of Edward leaving. About how Bella came to Jacob when she was lost and broken and he held her together. I told him that he fell for her and she fell for him too, even though she didn't quiet realise it. I told him that she eventually chose Edward over him and it really hurt him. I wanted to save him from that.

I was secretly hoping that maybe he would finally understand some of insecurities that I had about us. I thought that maybe he could understand why I left and pushed him away all the time. It's hard not to feel insecure when you know that you're boyfriend is _destined_ to be with someone else, and then someone else again.

Jacob had just drunk in everything I told him, not saying much, just listening carefully to everything I was telling him. I had watched his face as I told him and I was surprised at how mature he was acting. It was like he had suddenly aged years in a few weeks.

I told everyone how Edward would have gone to the Volturi to try and 'suicide'. I told them that Bella went to save him but in the process the Volturi learnt that she knows too much and would have ordered Edward to turn Bella into a vampire.

Edward look horrified at this but I was sure that Bella looked strangely smug. The wolves growled at this. I ignored them all and powered on.

"But that is all in the past. As you all know Edward leaves anyway, and comes back as well. I went out to find them because they are needed here, because…" I paused. "…Victoria is breeding an army to attack. At least, she was in my dream. Carlisle, I know you've been keeping a close eye on Seattle. Well, in my dream that was Victoria. She breeds a group of new-borns and brings them here to Forks. She uses them to try and keep everyone occupied while she tries to kill Bella…"

I frowned. Something didn't seem right anymore. I had a bad feeling. Edward exchanged significant looks with Carlisle but Bella, like usual, was unfazed.

"They can't come here." She said indignantly. On second thoughts she did look a little pale. Maybe she was like me, and seeing all the faces of the people who could die.

"She's right," said Carlisle calmly. Alice was now rubbing her head like she had a headache. "We have to meet them somewhere away from where there could be any human casualties. If we could move them somewhere away from Forks, maybe where we could corner them, we might have the upper hand. Do you know many there will be Leighton?"

"Around 20, I think."

"Ok." Carlisle paused for a moment. "When do you think they will come?"

"Three days after Bella's graduation."

"Carlisle, we were going to go to Seattle anyway. We'll just go earlier." Edward was frowning now. I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Don't think that you're leaving us out. We can help." Jacob spoke up, finally. The wolves seemed to growl in approval; obviously Edward was ignoring whatever thoughts they were having.

"Thank you Jacob, but that's not necessary. We have brought this danger here, we will deal with it."

"No!" Bella seemed to have finally found her tongue, and the words spluttered out of her. "She is coming here for me! There's another way!" she turned to Edward, as if she was talking just to him. "You can turn me. She couldn't hurt me if I was like you." She whispered it, but everyone herd it. I wanted to look away. It was like I was caught listening to a private conversation.

"No," Edward growled. He looked uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. "Bella. We've talked about this. Not because you're scared."

"Bella, even if you were like us she would still come for you. This isn't the right time, Edward's right." Carlisle said softly, and Bella blushed and looked at the ground. Edward seemed to relax but I could tell that the argument wasn't over for her.

"This is what we are made for," Jacob said strongly, picking up the argument where it left off. "These are our people to protect. With us there will barely be enough Vampires to go around."

"This is what you did in my dream," I said softly, though I felt like I wanted the Cullens to still say no. Something didn't feel right anymore. "But remember that things have changed now. I'm not sure if my dream is right anymore. Victoria might do something different."

"Well, there is definitely a coven of new born vampires running riot in Seattle. I think that it makes sense for that to be Victoria's work. We should start to make plans." Carlisle gave me a reassuring look that made me feel calmer, or maybe it was Jasper working his magic.

"New born Vampires aren't like normal Vampires, they are stronger and faster, I think I should give some training to everyone about the best way to meet them in combat." Jasper said smoothly. The wolves looked at him curiously.

"Jasper has had experience with this kind before," Carlisle explained.

"Is a week enough time?" Edward's brow creased in concern as he looked at Jacob. I felt Jacob tense.

"We can handle ourselves," he said coolly.

"Guys, please, we're on the same team." I reminded them. I think Jasper was altering Jacob's mood because he calmed down quickly. I couldn't take anymore. The sun was about to come up and I hadn't slept yet. I hadn't slept in years. Suddenly, it felt like living two lives was piling on top of me. It was like I was stretched too thin. I yawned.

"Hey. You're tired." Jacob told me, holding me close to him. I looked over at Bella, if she could stay alert so could I. She was resting her head on Edward's shoulder, her eyes closed.

"Yeah. I am a little bit."

"Let's get you home. We can talk about this again soon."

"Good idea. How about we meet back here tomorrow night? We can further discuss our plans." Carlisle gave Sam a courteous nod.

The wolves quickly disappeared into the trees, and the Cullens began disappearing too.

Jacob gave my hand a gentle tug as he pulled me back towards where he parked the Rabbit. We had driven here. Everything tonight was as if Jacob was completely human.

Collin was standing next to the Rabbit. He gave me an apologetic smile as I approached him. Jacob let go of my hand and seemed to suddenly busy himself with finding something in the glove box.

"Hey Leighton," Collin greeted casually. He was still growing. He was at least several inches taller than when I had last seen him. And he seemed to be getting more muscular too.

"Hey," I smiled despite still feeling hurt at him moving out. He was the closest thing I had ever gotten to a little brother. I like having him around. "How are things with your mum?"

"Pretty good actually. She still won't let me in the house but she will meet me in Forks now. Emily is always talking to her, she's really helping."

"Oh, that's good. How are things now you're living at Sam's?" I tried to sound casual, as if I didn't really care how much fun he was having at Sam and Emily's.

"It's kinda like living with your school principal," He grinned which made me smile in return. I could see a hint of something in his eye.

"Your old bedroom is still free at my house if you want,"

Collin at least had the decency to look almost surprised. "Really Leighton? I'd hate to put you out like that…" He half heartedly resisted.

"Don't be stupid. Come back whenever you want." I smiled as Collin pulled me into a light hug.

"Thanks Leighton. I'll be back after my patrol is over."

I laughed as he disappeared into the trees.

"I told him not to ask you," Jacob said as I climbed into the truck.

"It's ok. I actually like having him around."

Jacob shrugged, "I like it when it's just you and me."

"It is just you and me," I told him, brushing my lips over the warm skin on his hand.

I felt bad about Eleanor and mum. But that didn't mean that I was going to apologise about what I had said. Mostly because I didn't want to talk about it again. I didn't want to surprise myself with anymore feelings I was having. My mum, on the other hand, was incredibly fond of talking about how you are feeling.

"Leighton…" She said as she nervously peered through a crack in my open door. She had been tip-toeing around me for days, as if I might blow up at any second. I didn't feel mad at her anymore. I had resigned to just feeling nothing, as wishing desperately that I could spend all my time with Jacob.

"Yeah?" I looked up from where I was designing some clothes. At least without Jacob around I was designing some stuff that I could possibly make into a wearable outfit.

"Do you have some time to talk?" She came and sat at the end of my bed. This was something that frustrated me about her. Why did she have to know how I was "feeling" all the time? Why couldn't she just go back to not wanting to know? It had worked out for us for so long.

" I'm worried about you."

"Really mum, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I feel that lately you have been unhappy." She continued as if I hadn't spoken. "You spend all your time in your room. You don't eat and you sleep too much."

I instinctively reached for the bottle of pills I hid under my pillow. I was sure she didn't know about them.

"I'm fine."

"You don't talk to your sister any more. You don't leave the house or see any friends."

"Mum, seriously, I'm fine."

"I think you might have depression," Mum said seriously.

"Great Mum. Just go ahead and diagnose me when you spend no time with me." I tried not to sound bitter but it just spilled out.

"I just want you to be happy," She was sincere. She just wanted me to be happy.

"I am happy," I told her.

She looked at me sceptically.

"I _am_ happy."

_I am happy. _


	19. Chapter 19

Hi Everyone! Sorry this one has taken so long! As i mentioned in my last up date I am incredibly busy as of late because I am in the process of moving out of home for the first time! Who knew there was SO much to do to get ready...!

I have to say thank you for all your reviews! I have taken them all in and they are all helping to better this story... and the encouragememnt is great! I have added in the line to better the transition between Leighton's worlds.

I am going to be taking a break over Christmas, just because I have a tonne of christmas shopping I need to do and I have family who are visiting (I have 6 brothers coming home for christmas. joy.)

So on that note I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and I hope that 2010 is an incredible year for you all. I personally am thinking that it is going to be great.

You can expect me back around the 9th of January, but it may also be sooner if my brothers annoy me so much that i need to escape into the Leighton world.

Merry Christmas everyone, and thanks for your support through out the year.

Lorrae =)

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Hey Eleanor…" I said softly as I pushed her bedroom door open a fraction. She was sitting at her computer staring at the screen. Her face tensed for a second, and I knew she was in that moment when a sibling talked to you and you had to decide if you were going to be civil or bite their head off. She decided be civil.

"Hey. Come in." She pushed away from her desk and placed her feet up on her bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I was supposed to be writing a school paper. But I've ended up staring at a blank document."

"Really? What's the paper on?"

"A discussion about the themes in _The Quiet American_."

"Argh. Boring."

Eleanor laughed and nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"Ell, I just wanted to apologise for how I've been acting the past few days. I know I've been awful. I've just been feeling so stressed. I promise I'll try harder."

Eleanor paused for a moment, as if composing what she was going to say. She closed her eyes. "I know that you've been having a hard time lately –"

"I've just –"

"- Really Leighton. Would you shut up for a second and let me talk?" Her lips turned up slightly as she spoke. I rolled my eyes at her but fell back on her bed to get settled in.

"I know that you've been having a hard time since dad died, even if you think that you don't let anyone see it."

I felt my breath suck in. This wasn't what I expected her to say. We had an unspoken agreement in our house that we wouldn't talk about dad. It was too hard. I felt uncomfortable, but I let her continue anyway.

"It was always mum and me, against you and dad. Dad was on your team and then he died and I know that you felt it the most because you didn't have a team anymore. And then mum went MIA and it was just you and me, and I was young and I didn't understand properly so really it was just you. And it's been just you ever since and you've never had anyone on your team.

I know you want us all to believe that you weren't hurt by dad leaving, but I used to listen to you talk to him at night when you thought I was asleep. And now you dream Twilight and it makes you feel like you're not so alone, and Jacob makes you happy, but you have to come back here every day and all we do is remind you how alone you are and that makes you miserable."

She opened her eyes to look at me, but I looked away. I suddenly felt like I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I'd been telling myself that no one knew how I felt but she had been there all along, watching me, and she's known all this time.

"You've been taking sleeping pills." It wasn't a question. She knew. I thought about denying it but it was pointless. Somehow she knew. "When dad died you didn't want to talk to anyone, and that was fine, but I went to a councillor and she really helped me. I really think you should go and see her. It's ok to not know how to get out of bed anymore. And I'm worried about these dreams, I don't think that they're right. Will you promise me you will go?"

Her eyes were pleading. It was just like she was asking for that last muffin, or the go to the movies with her friends. They were those eyes I couldn't resist.

"I'll think about it,"

"Promise?"

"I promise," I sighed. Then I shuffled over to sit next to her at the computer. "Now can I help you with this paper?"

"Why would you want to? It's turning my brain to slush."

"Yes, but I have to re-establish the pecking order. You're getting dangerously close to becoming smarter than me."

* * *

"I was _sure _I put it in here," Bella fumed as she threw clothes from her wash basket. I looked up from where I was lazing on her bed to look at her. She was still in her pyjamas.

"What are you looking for? Does it really matter what you wear under _that?" _I glanced at her canary yellow graduation gown that was thrown over her desk. Bella looked at it with contempt.

"Who would pick that colour? It looks horrible on everyone." Almost as if we had called her Alice danced into the room, her yellow gown flowing off her. She looked stunning as usual.

"Well, almost everyone." I laughed at Bella's deflated expression.

"Where _is_ my red sweater?" Bella groaned.

I paused and looked up at her. I remembered the red sweater she was talking about. She wore to Christmas last year, my birthday dinner, and other similar semi-formal events. Jacob used to joke about it. "Did your grandma loan you that sweater Bells?"

"It doesn't matter, Bella, I brought you this to wear anyway." Alice handed Bella a small brown bag from which Bella pulled out a blue dress.

"I don't know Alice," Bella looked at the dress doubtfully.

"Just try it on," Alice said seriously, pushing Bella into the bathroom.

I wasn't paying much attention. I was focusing on Bella's red sweater. I knew where it was. Victoria stole that sweater to use as a source of scent for her vampires. That was what happened in the books. Victoria sent someone else for it. But now all I could see was Victoria holding what I thought was a scrap of red material.

_Thanks for the tip._ She had said to me. And I thought she was talking about knowing that the wolves and the Cullens had an alliance. But what if she knew that she was supposed to take that sweater? What if she had come to Forks herself because she knew already that we knew everything? She did know that I had too much information rolling around in my head. Was it possible that she had somehow figured out my secret?

"Leighton?" Alice asked, rushing to the bedside. She looked concerned. Probably because I could feel the colour draining from my face. "That's not possible." Alice assured me quickly as I expressed my fears, even though I could see a small frown on her face. "You kept your secret from Edward, even when he was desperate to know what was going on. Edward can read minds. If he couldn't find out what it was then Victoria couldn't."

I frowned. It was true that I had hidden my thoughts from Edward – from everyone. It still didn't really calm my nerves. Something didn't feel right.

"But what if I somehow told her the whole plan? What if I made it happen because I thought it would already happen?"

"Don't be stupid, Leighton. This isn't your fault. This is happening because Victoria wants revenge. Nothing will happen. We have it all under control. You've been there when Jasper trained us."

I nodded. I had been there as Jasper trained each member of the Cullen family as Bella, the wolves and I stood and watched. It was just like in the books. Everything seemed to be back on track, But still my stomach turned with nerves.

"Alice, I don't kn-"

"Shhh," Alice put a delicate finger to my lips. "Don't worry, Leighton. Everything will be fine."

I nodded, but only because Bella came out of the bathroom, looking particularly beautiful in blue. Alice smiled as if we hadn't been doing anything more than telling jokes and talking about clothes. I tried to imitate her calmness. There wasn't any need to worry Bella.

"See I told you it would look great!" Alice smiled triumphantly and rushed to grab Bella's graduation gown.

Bella mumbled something inaudible and followed Alice as she left the room, I brought up the rear, and my fears floated away as I saw Jacob waiting in the lounge room.

At the graduation I watched as my old classmates lined up to receive their diplomas. I watched Bella blush as Jacob and I cheered and stomped our feet when she walked on stage to shake the principals hand. I chuckled quietly as she tripped slightly on her gown. Jacob groaned. I was surprised that I didn't feel disappointed that I wasn't graduating with my class. Mike hugged me, and Angela cried but I didn't feel like I had made a bad decision. My designs were beginning to fall into place. I had decided to begin making my first piece once all the danger had passed.

"Can we get out of here yet?" Bella whispered to Edward when she had obviously had enough of being hugged and kissed by everyone.

"Let's go and get something to eat," Charlie said gruffly. I could see that his eyes were sparkling throughout the whole graduation.

"That sounds like a great idea," Edward said before Bella could open her mouth. "You'll need your strength for the party tonight."

Bella groaned. I could tell she was hoping that Alice would forget that she was throwing the graduation party.

"Isn't there something you can do to stop her?" Bella whispered, not so quietly to Carlisle, when Alice was out of ear shot.

Carlisle chuckled, "I don't think even the Volturi could rein her in."

I dropped the camera I was holding. Jacob jumped down to pick it up but Edward was in the way. He was leaning over me, grabbing at my shoulders. Jacob growled but I couldn't tell him to be quiet.

I was back in my house and it had just been my mum's funeral. There was a cold hand over my mouth and I was terrified. I looked to the side and saw Victoria sitting on my lounge, looking at who was behind me.

"Thank you, Aro." She whispered, and I was terrified.

I remembered and I was screaming the memory at Edward. And I could feel the panic in his fingertips as the clutched at my shoulders.

Victoria did know everything. And so did the Volturi.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Edward was pacing. Up and down the length of the Cullen's living room. Up and down. Up and down. His beautiful face was twisted with confusion and a bit of something else – fear. I watched him as he walked, twisting his hands in his hair. Up and down.

"Edward. Please, sit down for a moment" Carlisle reached out a hand and went to touch Edwards shoulder. Edward looked up as if he only just noticed Carlisle was there. He absently shrugged off Carlisle's hand and continued pacing.

I couldn't stand to watch him but I couldn't _not _watch him. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced again at the clock on the wall. It couldn't possibly have been only a minute since I last glanced at it. It couldn't have been only an hour since my realisation that the Volturi had somehow been involved in this story all along. They knew everything. I didn't know anything anymore. I was blind.

I knew as soon as I realised what I remembered that I had to leave the school straight away. I couldn't contain the sudden feeling that I wanted to scream with frustration and terror and I needed to tell the Cullens and the wolves what I had realised and Bella needed to be kept safe and I couldn't let Charlie think that anything was wrong.

"I have to help set up for the party. Edward and I do. I'll see you tonight." I managed to choke as I grabbed for Edwards hand. I seemed to have surprised him so much that he couldn't move. He stared at Bella and hissed wildly. Making Charlie shift uncomfortably the way humans often did in the presence of vampires. Everyone else seemed to know what was happening, or at least could sense my panic or hear my heart thumping.

"Charlie, Bella...Do you mind if I join you for lunch? My own family have taken me off party duties and I would love to help you get ready for the party afterwards Bella." Alice seamlessly floated into view, blocking Edward from Charlie's curious gaze. Bella opened and closed her mouth soundlessly as if she was dying to ask what was happening but knew she couldn't. I could see from the way she seemed to pale even more then usual that she knew it wasn't good news.

I watched her glance over her shoulder nervously.

"Ah...sure thing Alice. I don't mind. Are you sure you don't want to celebrate with your family?"

He looked curiously at Carlisle and Esme who were all staring at Edward. I could see his lips moving quickly.

"We really want to give Alice a break from the party organising." Esme said as I felt Jasper manipulate the mood to make it more relaxed. I felt my hand slowly stop clutching Edward's.

"Well, we should get going then before the restaurant fills up."

Bella's mouth opened and shut again.

"I'll see you when Alice brings you to the party," Edward told Bella carefully and she nodded slightly. She understood. There was a problem. Alice was her babysitter. Edward would wait for her in her room.

And now we were waiting for her lunch to be finished. I had explained what had happened the best that I could to the Cullens and then repeated when Sam, Quil and Seth turned up. The rest of the wolves were running all over Forks and the reservation. This, apparently, was considered a class A threat.

"This may not be an attack from the Volturi," Carlisle said to Edward calmly. This was not the first time he had said this, but it didn't seem to comfort Edward. It did, however, comfort me.

"Why not?" I had asked eagerly, desperate for any explanation.

"Maybe they were in the area and decided to poke around. They have a habit of checking in on me occasionally."

Checking _on_ you more like it, I thought, but didn't voice my opinion.

"Why would they have ended up at Leighton's house?" Seth asked, he was seated in between Jasper and Esme and looked quite comfortable there. He had one arm resting on the back of the lounge behind Esme. Sam and Quill chose to stand tensely near the kitchen.

"Well we were all there for the funeral. It would have been easy to follow the scent."

I nodded this made sense.

"Why was he with the red head?" Sam growled. I suddenly felt confused again. Trust Sam to pick out the one thing that didn't fit in. "And why would they have attacked Leighton?"

Carlisle thought for a moment. I could see him thinking things through. I could almost imagine the facts running through his brain. "I don't know," he sighed. "Maybe Aro found Victoria at your house and wanted to know what she was doing there…" the conviction in his voice seemed to fade, leaving me nervous again.

"You said he can read your thoughts just by touching you?" Seth asked.

"Not read your thoughts, Seth. Know every thought you've ever had." Quill sighed. He had been paying close attention to everything we had been saying, with a look of anxiety on his face.

Seth had not been so concerned. He shrugged. "Yeah, ok. So they know everything that Leighton know -Which is _everything - _But they've know this for ages now. If they were going to attack – which I don't see why they would – why would they wait this long. They could have taken us all unawares ages ago."

Carlisle nodded. This made sense to him. "Whatever the reason they were at your house Leighton, I don't think that they are a threat to you. They usually do hurt humans who know our secret but I think that you could be protected by the wolves. I don't think that the Volturi have seen their kind before and would probably be wary of upsetting them. "

"Why would they let Victoria go if they knew she was breeding an army?" I asked numbly. This didn't make sense to me. They supposedly stopped vampires breeding new born armies.

"They couldn't have prosecuted her for something she hasn't done yet."

"When would that ever stop them?" Edward growled. He looked as frustrated as I felt.

Carlisle ran his hands through his smooth blonde hair. It was the only sign he had given that he was stressed as well. "Edward. Go to Bella. I think Seth is right. If they were going to act they would have acted straight away. If they are anything it's efficient. They are probably now keeping a close eye on her. They might even stop her before she brings them anywhere near Forks."

I doubted that, but only because I had read _Breaking Dawn._ But still I felt slightly relieved. Maybe I was just groping for any explanation that had a happy ending.

Edward nodded at Carlisle and left, before I had time to even make eye contact.

"Okay everyone, let's get moving. Alice will have a fit if we haven't set up for this party. An army of new born vampires will look tame in comparison." Esme clapped her hands together pulling everyone from their thoughts.

"You're having a _party?_" Seth asked, looking slightly hurt. "Why wasn't _I_ invited?" He seemed more shocked about this then anything we had just been talking about. I had to laugh.

"Of course you can come!" I grabbed his hands and playfully pretended I was helping pull him to his feet, as if I was any help at all. "Why don't you all come! Jacob is coming!" I felt excited about this. Maybe this was the chance for the wolves and the Cullens to create a strong alliance.

Sam looked doubtful. "I don't think so Leighton. We should keep up patrols."

I noticed that all the Cullens had left the room, leaving me alone with the wolves.

"There won't be any danger for at least two days," I told him stubbornly. I wanted this to work. I _really_ wanted them to come. Sam, Embry, Seth, Quill, Collin and even Leah. I wanted the _whole_ pack there.

"We couldn't leave the reservation unprotected." Sam said just as stubbornly.

"We can leave Leah behind," Seth volunteered. Sam silenced him with a look.

"You can bring Emily. The boys can even bring dates if they wanted to."

For a moment Embry flashed in my mind. Maybe he would bring Lola. The thought made my stomach twist in a strange way.

"Don't let Embry hear that," Quill laughed. "Or there won't be anyone left on the reservation to protect."

"We're not invited," Sam sighed; I could tell he was on his last legs.

"Don't be silly! You're all welcome!" Esme yelled from where she was making finger food in the kitchen.

Seth grinned triumphantly and I felt a similar smile spread across my face. "Ok. Well you should all go and get dressed. Be back here in an hour."

Seth didn't need to be told twice. He rushed for the door.

"Hey Quill, can you tell Jake to where his blue shirt?" I asked as he was about to leave. I liked that shirt on Jacob. I wanted him to be wearing it tonight. I wanted everything to be perfect. This was going to be the start of something great.

Quill nodded as Seth burst into laughter, saying something that sounded like "_She has him on a leash."_ As they ran into the trees.

"Thanks Leighton," Emmett appeared behind me carrying three large boxes of lights. "Now I have to hold my breath the whole party."

I ignored him. I felt excited and Emmett's jokes couldn't even make me feel bad. I really felt like this party would be a stepping stone to something better and it was a relief to feel something that wasn't confusion, fear or frustration.

"I'm going home to get ready too. I'll see you all in an hour."

I practically bounced to my car. I couldn't help feeling like if I somehow managed to fix everything in Forks then maybe things would begin to work out at home too. I had been unyieldingly grumpy towards Eleanor and my mum. I needed to work harder to make things easier on them.

At home I paced my getting ready even though I wanted nothing more than to pull on a dress and got back to the Cullens. I knew that if I rushed the time before I could see Jacob would drag out, driving me insane. Collin wasn't even home to distract me. Sam was probably debriefing them all right now. He was telling them that the Volturi were no longer a threat and that we were all relatively out of danger for tonight. Those words seemed too sweet.

I couldn't drag out picking an outfit to wear. Alice had given me a dress last night.

"You have to put it on before you judge it," she told me sternly as she handed over a bag. I went to open it but she pulled it back out of my hands. "No peeking until tomorrow. Just put it on before you leave for the party and go. Don't judge it because I know it will look great."

Now I looked at the bag sceptically. I couldn't help but feel nervous about what it was. How could I not when she said "Try not to judge it?"

They weren't exactly words of encouragement.

I held my breath and closed my eyes as I pulled the dress out of the bad. The material was soft and silky and it seemed top flow forever as I pulled it out.

I opened my eyes and smiled. The dress was a stunning strapless maxi-dress. It was black in colour with a large, colourful print of a peacock feather down the front. The silk made the colours of the feather shimmer in the light. I pulled the dress on and it fit perfectly. Obviously Alice was trying to have a joke with me. She knew how fussy I was with my clothes.

I decided to pull my hair up into a loose bun at the base of my neck. It wasn't very fancy but I didn't think that many people would be getting dressed up – Bella in particular and it was her party. I quickly applied some makeup and slipped on a pair of thongs. They weren't exactly party shoes but no one would be able to see them under the dress anyway and they were comfortable.

When I had nothing else that I could to get ready I left – pushing the speed limit along the highway. I put some music on and belted out the tunes the whole way, even though my singing was awful. Jacob always cringed every time I started singing, usually causing me to start singing louder… in his ear.

People were already starting to arrive at the Cullens house just as the sun started to set. I ran into Angela and Ben as they parked their car beside mine, their mouths falling open slightly as they looked at the house.

"They seriously live here all the time?" Ben was in awe.

Angela rolled her eyes but grabbed onto his hand all the same. "Did you really expect anything less from the _Cullens?" _ She laughed. I joined in, remembering what it was like to see the Cullens' house for the first time. It was a beautiful house.

There was a large group already at the front door. Jessica and Lauren were at the front waiting hesitantly as if deciding whether or not to knock. It looked like the whole of the school had decided to arrive together.

"Strength in numbers," Ben laughed, noticing the same thing I did.

"Hello beautiful," A voice whispered in my ear, making me jump. Ben and Angela jumped too as Jacob removed his large, warm hands from over my eyes.

I laughed and playfully pushed him away as I greeted the rest of the pack, who were walking towards us from where they parked their cars. Quill was right, nearly the whole reservation as with them.

"Hey!" I laughed as Collin lightly punched my shoulder. I gave Emily a warm hug. She looked beautiful despite the scars that twisted down her face. My hand instinctively moved to my own scar, which twisted down my arm. Jacob noticed and kissed it lightly.

"Are we going to go in or just stand around outside?" Seth asked impatiently. He smiled nervously at a group of Quileute girls that were hovering around the boys. One of the girls blushed instantly and looked her at feet. She reminded me of a golden Bella.

"Yeah. Let's get this party started." I smiled and lead the way to the group on the stairs just as Emmett pulled the door open. Jessica jumped with fright which made me grin.

Inside, the Cullen's living room had been decorated to look exactly like what I imagined a night club to look like. The room was lit up with flashing lights and a DJ booth was blaring loud dance music.

"Sweet," I heard Seth say as he shuffled towards a group of girls.

"I'm going to go say hi to Bells," Jacob yelled over the music. He nodded his head to where Bella stood alone; looking at the dance floor as if it was a sworn enemy. I nodded and gestured to where Embry stood alone. I hadn't spoken to him for a while, and I was determined for things to get back to normal now. I also thought he looked thinner; more tired even, but maybe he was just getting taller again.

"Hey!" I yelled over the music. Embry smiled warmly. Maybe he was OK after all.

"Hey! Pretty good party!"

"Yeah. Alice doesn't do anything half way."

We stood for a moment in silence, watching everyone slowly work their way over to the dance floor. I watched a group of Quileute girls giggle hysterically as Collin bravely asked a girl to dance. I felt a pang of pride for him, as a smile stretched over his face when the girl took his hand.

"Do you want to dance?" I asked Embry. I suddenly didn't feel like watching and Jacob was somewhere else.

For a moment he looked like he would refuse, but then he shrugged. "Sure."

On the dance floor he wrapped his arms around my waist; they were so long he probably could have wrapped the right around me, twice. I could feel the warmth burning through the fabric of my dress.

"So why have you been avoiding me?" I asked him as I reached my hands onto his shoulders. They felt natural there that I ignored the people who had started to stare.

"I haven't been avoiding you." Embry said, nonchalantly as he effortlessly pulled me out of the way of a dancer I was about to collide with.

"You have." I insisted. We both knew it. Since I left he had been avoiding me. "Really Embry, I'm back now. I'm sorry I had to leave. And I know your worried that I'll hurt Jacob and I know I have before, but I won't again –"

"I'm not worried about that." The finality in his voice left no room for argument.

"Move back in then. It was fun when it was just you, me and Collin. Please." I asked. I didn't want to sound pleading, but it ended up like that anyway. Jacob made me laugh, but Collin and Embry _really _made me laugh. Once they made me laugh so hard I snorted milk out my nose. Collin though it was hilarious.

Embry's hands dropped away from me like he was burned. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" I whispered, hurriedly. People were really beginning to stare now, and I noticed that Alice had suddenly stopped filling up a bowl of chips to listen in.

Embry clenched his hands into fists and I noticed that they were shaking. _He's angry._ I thought, surprised.

He left, turning around suddenly and disappearing up the stairs. I looked around at the groups, who quickly went back to what they were doing before, dancing and laughing.

I caught Alice's eye, she looked concerned.

"Its fine," I whispered but she heard me clear enough. She shrugged and went back to pouring out chips.

I walked up the stairs after Embry. I wanted to apologize for upsetting him, even if I didn't understand what I did. He was as up and down as I was lately.

I found him in the bathroom washing his hands a little over zealously.

"What's wrong Embry?"

He looked up at me, his dark eyes looked defeated.

"Look Leighton. I can't –"

He stopped talking and I stopped breathing. We both heard it. A scream echoed up the stairs. A desperate and scared scream.

Embry moved faster than me. He could hear more than me. He pulled me towards him before I could understand that anything was wrong. He kept pulling me. I heard the glass of the bathroom window break as Embry punched it. He dripped blood on the floor but I watched as the cut began to heal.

"Embry – what's going on?" I asked as he pulled me towards the broken window. It was raining outside, I could feel it coming in the window, but I couldn't see anything through the darkness that now engulfed the Cullen house.

"We're going to jump. Can you hang onto me?" Embry asked. I could feel him shaking as he jumped onto the window ledge and pulled me up effortlessly.

"It's the second story," was all I could say as Embry pulled me out the window.

He exploded underneath me.

I was falling.

* * *

**Happy new year!**

I hope 2010 is the year all your dreams come true.

Thank you all so much for the christmas well wishes, and I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas period. I'd love to hear if anyone did anything particularly exciting. My Christmas was so hot. I wish i lived somewhere where it snows. But besides that, and being in the bottom of a pile on with my brothers, my Christmas and new years were great.

I am now settled into my new house. Thank you so much for waiting for me, i hope that this chapter is enough to quench your cravings for an update...or then again maybe it just feeds them. We're nearing the end so things are starting to heat up!

While I'm on the topic of ending this story, I was thinking for the next one I might finally use a Beta reader. I think i've found that its hard to do this all by yourself. Especially when things are hard to write and you just need someone to bounce ideas off and check your spelling.

So if anyone here would like to Beta for me, or knows someone who is a great Beta, review or message me. The next one gets bigger and more complicated and i need someone to keep my head on straight. Especially with Uni.

And completely off the topic. In the past month subscriptions to this story have doubled so I just wanted to say hi to the new readers! Don't be scared to review or message just to say hi! I love meeting people who read my work and get to know what everyone thinks. You are all incredibly great people and you all make my day... most days of the week. =)

Anyway. enough from me.

let me know what you think.

Lorrae =) X


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

The air was forced from my lungs and I was engulfed into a mass of fur as I landed on top of Embry. I groaned and rolled onto the grass next to me, only to feel broken glass beneath me.

"Ouch," I muttered as I grazed the palm of my hand on a particularly sharp piece of the bathroom window. I glanced up at where the window stood with its frame ominously empty. Pieces of glass covered the ground around me. "Embry. What's going on?"

I was whispering, though I wasn't sure why. Somehow the night's air had become tense, foreboding.

Embry didn't reply. He simply nudged me in the side, pushing me to get up. I looked at him carefully; even though he was in his wolf form I could see Embry in him.

_Are you ok?_ That's what he was saying to me.

"Tell me what is going on! Turn human and tell me what is happening!" I whispered to him fiercely, but I still stood up. I wiped my bleeding hand on my dress. The bottom of it had ripped on a shard of glass on my way out the window. It was wrecked.

Embry's wolf stared at me, a low rumbled came from the bottom of his throat.

I suddenly seemed to realize where I was. I looked behind me to see where we had fallen.

We were outside the Cullen's kitchen window and the inside of the Cullen's house was engulfed in darkness. Not five minutes before the house was full of disco lights, and warmth and laughter but now the house was dark, cold and silent. The hair on the back of my neck prickled.

I wished that I had Embry's eyes sight, or Edwards hearing. I suddenly resented being completely human and completely vulnerable.

"Embry! What's going on! Where's Jacob? Jacob!" I was talking louder now, trying to push my voice through my throat, which seemed to constrict every time I wanted to make a noise.

Embry growled, louder now and I realized it was directed at me; even though I could only see his silhouette.

_Be quiet, _was what he was telling me, or since it was Embry he was probably saying something like _shut your big mouth Leighton. Are you stupid?_

I backed up against the window of the kitchen, but even the crunching of the glass under my feet seemed to echo through the silence. What was happening?

_Tap, Tap._ I jumped as someone tapped the window behind me. I turned as Esme opened the window. Embry growled and stood back warily but I practically ran to the window, pushing my whole body against the glass so I wouldn't miss a thing.

"Esme? What's going on? Where are the lights? Embry thinks something is wrong. Get Edward to talk to him. I can't tell what he wants! Where's Jacob –"

I stopped talked when I noticed that Esme was shaking her head ever so slightly. She looked paler then usual. There was something in her golden eyes that made me feel uneasy. _Be quiet. _Her eyes were telling me.

"Esme?" I asked again, dropping my voice to a whisper. My stomach felt like it had a hole in it.

"Leighton. There's been a black out and we can't seem to get the power back on. We're sending everyone home now." Her voice was eerily calm, the pitch didn't seem quite right. "Would you like to come back in and wait with Bella? Sam has asked Embry to help take people home. They will all be leaving in a minute."

"Esme?" I whispered again, but she gave me a look of desperate urgency that silenced me. Embry pushed his nose into my back. _Go._

Suddenly it dawned on me why no one was talking. _They're listening._ The thought sent a shiver down my spine; though I didn't know who "They" were. My first thought was the Volturi. But would they have come when the house was full of innocent humans? Would Victoria?

I walked to the side door, which was being held open by a tense looking Jasper. I tried to catch his eye, hoping it would give something away, but as soon as I was inside he shut the door and disappeared into the darkness.

Someone had a torch and was shining it on the party guests who were huddled by the front door looking nervous.

"I am so sorry about this everyone," Alice was talking. I noticed that Jasper was by her side again. The group seemed to relax more. I felt more relaxed.

"Esme and Jasper will drive everyone home. It will be best that we car pool since the lights are out. La Push people, Quill and Collin will car pool with you all."

I listened from the side, my eerie calmness allowed me to think clearly. They were pairing the humans with escorts home. It was to protect them. But they must have decided that whatever was out there wasn't a significant threat to them or they wouldn't let them out at all.

_Just to us._ I thought bitterly.

"Leighton? Are you alright?" I jumped as Jacob whispered in my ear. He turned me around and pulled me against his chest. I noticed that he was shirtless and the pants that he had on were not the ones he arrived in. He had phased.

"Jacob, what's going on?"

"There was a visitor in the house before. Were you hurt when you jumped from the window? I could kill Embry."

"A visitor? What kind of visitor?" I shivered again, even though it was warm in Jacob's arms. There was only one kind of visitor that would make Embry throw me out a window.

Jacob took my hands and looked as if he was studying them. "You're bleeding. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Who was it? Victoria?"

Jacob grabbed my shoulders and squared them to his. I could see his eyebrows laced together with concern. "Leighton. _Are you hurt?_"

"No!" I growled, pushing him away. I wanted to speak to someone who would tell me what was going on. Not try to protect me from everything. "Now tell me what is going on."

Jacobs shrugged; he looked almost amused in the darkness. "A leech broke in a window on one side of the house upstairs, ran through and jumped out the other side and into the forest. It just ran through without doing anything else. Carlisle said that it might just be Victoria flexing her muscles; showing us that she's still around. Edward thinks that she's set up a trap and expected us to track the leech somewhere she could ambush us."

"Ok," I breathed out a sigh on relief. That didn't seem so bad. It could have been worse.

"That's not all. Alice saw those Volturi. She said they were coming here now."

My skin seemed to tingle when I thought of the Volturi. Obviously they were coming to Forks because Victoria had nearly exposed herself in front of a large crowd of humans. But for some reason I felt like they still weren't on our team. I felt wary about them.

"Ok. What are the Cullen's thinking of doing?"

"The leech wants to take Bella away – as far away as possible – he was talking about Alaska a little while ago." Jacob muttered darkly, as if Edward wanting to get Bella away somehow made him disapprove of the relationship even more. "Obviously Bells doesn't want to go. The other leeches –"

"- Cullens, Jacob." I said sharply. It was an old habit by now.

"Sure, sure. Well the _Cullens_ want to follow the scent anyway. That big one seems keen for a fight and the blonde one thinks that these new born leeches won't be able to hold their ranks. They think that if we have a distraction –" He seemed to choke on the words slightly as he said them. Which made me curious?

"Distraction?"

"That blonde one wanted a human – Bella or you." He looked at me seriously and I could tell he was gauging my reaction. I was about to object – I wasn't proud of the fact that I was scared – but I didn't think I would be able to hold it together if I was in the middle of the fight - as bait.

"Don't worry. I said no to that." Jacob chuckled. I felt relieved. I liked the fact that he wasn't as protective as Edward was towards Bella – but I probably would have felt hurt if Jacob had offered me up as bait to a horde of hungry vampires. "But we decided that if the Vamps wear Bella and your clothes that might distract them while the wolves sneak around the back."

"They will be expecting wolves though. Victoria knows that you are teamed with the Cullens."

"Yeah, but they're hoping the human scent will get them off guard. Edward is taking Bella away – up into the hills somewhere. You're staying here with Embry as your guard. At least he's good for something. _Out the window?_ I don't think I would have risked that. Lucky that you landed on him and not the other way around." I didn't know if I liked the way Jacob was so entertained with Embry throwing me out a window.

"Yeah, lucky." I said, dryly. Not amused. Jacob pulled a face.

"Anyway, we're going as soon as everyone gets back. Collin and Brady are staying back at La Push."

I frowned at his excitement. "Are you sure you want to go?" I whispered as I hopped on tippy-toes to be closer to his face. "_You_ would be very good at staying back and guarding La Push."

Jacob laughed, "And miss all the fun?"

"This isn't fun Jacob. People could die." I said seriously, letting my nose lean on his and inhaling his smell.

Jacob scoffed. "This will be the most fun I've had all year."

"Even more fun than hanging out with me?" I said seriously, pretending to be hurt.

"Ok, the second most fun I've had all year." Jacob pulled me close, letting his lips find mine in the dark.

"Good. Don't be a hero; you have to come back so we can have more fun." I whispered, my words suddenly seemed thick. I was thinking about his body being broken.

"But I am a hero." He laughed and I rolled my eyes and pulled away.

I found Bella pacing Edward's room. She was staring so intently out the window that she didn't notice me come in.

"Knock, Knock." I said quietly and still Bella jumped with surprise.

"Leighton!" She breathed, pulling me into a hug. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry. This is my entire fault."

I laughed, "Seriously Bells. I'm fine. Physically - I'm fine. I'm worried about these boys of ours."

Bella suddenly looked sick. "Edward wants to ship me off somewhere far away. He would want me to just wait to see if he comes back. What if he never came back?" Bella shuddered and I reached out and held her hand. I knew how she felt. Maybe I did finally understand what it felt like to need someone in your life. Maybe I needed this life.

"It will be ok. I'm sure it will be ok." I reassured her, or myself, I wasn't sure.

"I asked Edward to stay with me." Bella whispered guiltily. She stared at a spot on the floor, unable to make eye contact with me. "I gave him a choice to sit out of the fighting or have me there with him. I just can't lose him again. I wouldn't survive."

I nodded. I understood where she was coming from. I wished that it was something I could request from Jacob but I knew that he wouldn't sit out of the fighting with me, or for me.

"If Jacob would listen to me I would I ask that too," I told her, she looked up at me, surprised.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. He's the most important thing to me. Unfortunately, the pack and La Push are more important then me. You're lucky that to Edward nothing is more important than you."

"That's kind of sad," Bella said softly, giving my hand a squeeze.

I shrugged, "It's just how it is."

We both looked up as Edward entered the room. He looked stressed, but relaxed a little when he saw Bella.

"Leighton," He nodded as he passed me to pull Bella into his arms.

"What's happening?" Bella asked, but she looked like she didn't want to know the answer.

"We're going camping." Edward said tensely. Bella looked relieved, but she blushed again and looked away.

"I'm sorry to take you away from you're family." She mumbled.

Edwards cupped her face in his hands, "Bella. I love you. If this makes you feel more comfortable then this is what we'll do. Alice estimates the numbers to be at 18. They will be fine without me."

"You should take a wolf with you. That way you will be able to see what's happening in the woods."

Edward nodded, "Sam already offered us Seth."

I nodded, of course he had. "Be careful of Victoria. She might come for Bella."

Edward nodded, "And you be careful of Victoria. She might come for you."

I shook my head. "Nah. I'm not important to her."

Edward looked taken aback. "Leighton," he said seriously, letting go of Bella to move closer. "Victoria wants Bella because I killed James. But you interfered at the Office with Victoria; she could see you as equally responsible for James' death as me."

I shrugged, but only because I didn't want to believe it.

* * *

Hey guys!

Thanks again for all your reviews! You are all too nice to me!

I hope you all like this chapter! I'm already about half way through the next one so it won't be long. Its all starting to heat up now. But I have to say I don't think any of you will guess what happens!

hehe.

Have a good one! =) Thanks for reading!

Lorrae.


	22. Chapter 22

**Twenty Two**

_Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,_

_I will fear no evil, for you are with me; - Psalm 23_

"Embry! What's going on out there? You can't do what you're supposed to do if you're not in wolf form!" I stopped my furious pacing to once again yell at Embry, who was lying on the Cullen's lounge lazily flicking channels. He ignored me. He seemed to think that the question only warranted an answer once, and if I continued to ask him the same question every minute he wasn't going to waste his breath answering. "What's going on?"

Embry turned away from the television, "Seriously Leighton, you need to worry less. I told you Collin is still outside. He's going to signal when he leaves so I can phase. They reached the clearing and no one was there... The scent led further away. They are still chasing. And despite what you may think sometimes it's not that comfortable to be an oversized wolf, you can't lie on couches for instance. So if I have to stay here with you and do nothing, at least let me do it in style."

He grinned but there was something serious about his expression. "Fine," I grumbled as I sat rigidly down on the lounge next to him. "But –"

"I'll tell you straight away if something happens." Embry did his best imitation of me.

"My voice is not that high pitched," I told him dryly. I tried to turn my attention to _Monster Garage_ but instead my thoughts shifted routinely from Jacob with the Cullens to Bella, Edward and Seth and then back to Jacob.

I had tried to say goodbye to him. I had wanted to take him back to the side of the road where my car broke down, over a year ago. I wanted to stand in the exact spot where I had given him my phone number, and my hand had first touched his. So much had changed since then, including the size of those hands, but one thing was still the same for me. When I thought of Jacob my heart still ached with how much I loved him. I had wanted to tell him again.

But Sam had other ideas about members of the pack running off, even if it was for a short period of time. So I had to settle for sitting on the Cullen's back porch, knowing that every supernatural creature could hear us.

"So, are you ok?" Jacob asked me, taking my hand in his. It felt very natural there; the warmth seemed to spread from my hand to the rest of my body.

"I'm fine it's you that I'm worried about,"

Jacob grinned, "You're not going to make me sit out are you?" He still could not understand why Bella was so worried, why I was so worried. He had laughed when Bella asked him to sit out as well.

"No, I'm not. But –"

"- Please be careful. Don't be a hero. Tell Leah to not be a hero. I get it." He grinned at me as he repeated the instructions I continued to give him. "I still don't understand why you're so worried you _know_ everything is going to be ok."

"I'm not worried," I tried to lie calmly.

"Sure, Sure." I could feel Jacob looking at me so I stared intently ahead.

"I just want you to come home in one peace" I told him. I continued to look across the Cullen's yard and into the forest. "I couldn't take it if you didn't come back. I wouldn't survive." My voice cracked a little.

Jacob wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. For once he didn't make fun of me. "It's ok. I'll come back and then maybe we can do something fun. Sam might give me some time off and maybe we could get away from here for a bit, go on a holiday or something."

"A holiday?" I looked up at him, his brow was knitted together. He was thinking. I imagined him on a beach in Hawaii, his body stretched out on the sand, laughing. It was a nice image. "That sounds incredible."

And then Sam came to tell him that it was time to go. Quill ruffled my hair on the way past, Jared squeezed my shoulder and Leah gave me a small smile. Paul was looking intently at the forest, on alert. Then Alice floated down the stairs, giving me a small kiss on the cheek on her way past. Emmett pulled me off the ground into a hug and Esme gave my hand a squeeze on her way past. And then everyone was at the forest, disappearing into the tress. Jacob placed one giant hand on my cheek, and kissed me. I closed my eyes, letting my face heat up, and taking in the smell of him. And then he was gone, jogging to catch up with the others. I closed my eyes rather then watch him disappear.

"I love you," I whispered. I had forgotten to say it.

"He'll be fine," Embry told me. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had turned the TV off and was staring at me. "You need to stop worrying."

"I just feel like something is wrong." I held my belly where it was twisting into knots.

"You worry too much. It's all under control."

I didn't answer; the fear had too big a grip on me. "How long now?"

"Well Collin just left so I'm going to go phase."

"They've found the newborns?" I felt faint.

"Yep,"

"Are they Ok? What's happening?"

"I need to go and phase to find out," Embry chuckled and pried my fingers off his arm. I didn't even realise that I had grabbed him.

Embry jogged out of the house, on the way he began to pull off his clothes. I looked away and began my pacing again.

Embry didn't come back inside. Instead he sat on the front steps, his huge wolf form taking up nearly all the space.

"We should have developed a code," I told him as I found some space next to him. He didn't look at me, instead he stared straight ahead into the forest and I could tell that he wasn't here with me. Instead he was there with his brothers.

I watched too, wishing I knew what was happening.

Time passed by slowly. Occasionally, Embry would growl or whine, but mostly he was silent. I didn't know whether to take that as good news or bad news.

I tried to find something else to do. I paced and I flicked through the television channels, but after a few minutes I always ended up sitting back next to Embry. I wondered what he would do if things in the clearing went wrong. Surely he would run off to help his brothers? I gulped down air. Don't forget to breathe.

Embry whined again, and got up. His sized pushed me up against the rail of the stairs but I had decided not to leave the steps before Jacob came back. I would sit there all night if I had to.

Embry turned and walked into the house but I remained where I was, eyes fixed on the forest. I thought about Bella. I hoped she was ok. I hated being helpless. It was like being locked in a dark room with an unknown terror.

"It's over," Embry said, as he came out of the house pulling up his sweat pants. "They weren't like any vampire I've seen before. They were so _wild. _Quil got one all to himself." He seemed excited and disappointed all at once.

I let out a deep breath, "And Jake?"

"Fine. No one was hurt. Those Volturi are there now talking to the Cullens."

"Bella?"

"Fine too. Seth got to fight a proper vampire too. I totally missed out. Why did I volunteer to stay with you?'

I looked at him for a second as I let relief flood over me. It was easy. Just like Jake had promised.

Embry tensed, a growl ripping from his throat. I turned and saw a vampire standing at the foot of the stairs, not two metres from us. He was very big, tall and thick and seemed to have an olive complexion which didn't match the paleness of his skin.

"Leighton Summers?" He asked, and I tried to think of who he could be or what he could want. He was clearly the Volturi, but why was he talking to me.

I nodded meekly and three things seemed to happen at once. Embry exploded behind me and simultaneously pushed me over the edge of the guard rail, awkwardly grabbing me with his huge paws, and the member of the Volturi guard lunged, smashing past where I was standing a millisecond before, and smashing into the Cullen's house.

I tried to look behind me as I clung onto Embry's back. He was running away, into the forest, with me clinging awkwardly to his back. _Vampires are fast, but we are faster._ I remembered Jacob saying. I couldn't think. I couldn't reason to why the vampire had attacked me. I couldn't see where he was now. We were moving so fast I was feeling nauseous.

Trees whipped at my face and body as I gripped onto Embry's fur harder, my nails digging into his skin. My heart was thumping in my chest and I wanted to scream. I was afraid. I was terrified.

Embry stoped running suddenly, pulling up in a tiny clearing, I slid off his back clumsily and fell to the ground. I couldn't move any more. My whole body was frozen. I felt like I wasn't really there.

"Leighton!" Embry grabbed hold of me. He had changed back to human. That must have meant the danger was gone. I looked up at him. He wasn't dressed. He never phased in front of me. He always put some clothes on. "You have to run. The others are close but he will be here soon. I will hold him off but you need to run. Keep running. Don't look back. Don't come back"

I stared at him and he shook my shoulders. I looked into his black eyes and I saw he was afraid. I felt weak. I didn't feel brave I felt weak. I wish I was like the third wife, but I wasn't. I was weak.

I turned around and I ran.

I didn't know how my feet managed to move but they did. I wasn't telling them to but they began to move in and out of the trees, taking me away from Embry. I heard him growl and the growl of the vampire. Always Embry sounded closer.

My feet were numb. Trees lashed at my face and arms. I could hear ripping and growling. Was that a whimper? I couldn't turn back if I wanted to. He had told me not to come back. The noises were further away but I felt like I could still hear Embry growling, or was he laughing? He was making fun or me again or maybe he was fighting with me.

There was a loud noise from somewhere far behind me. Maybe I was running faster then I thought. It was a cry, I was sure of it. A loud, agenising sound. A sound someone makes when they're in pain. When they're in excruciating pain.

And then the forest was silent. I didn't notice that I had stopped running, or that I had fallen to my knees.

Far off I could hear wolves howling. I could hear nine wolves howling.

_Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,_

_I will fear no evil, for you are with me; _


	23. Chapter 23

Hi Everyone!

I bet that you all thought I must have died or something, and let me first apologise for keeping you all waiting for this update for so long.

I have been so busy with university and working and general living out of home for the first time things (who knew the house doesn't clean itself!?) that I haven't had much of a chance to right, and have really just been too exhausted to write.

But I didn't forget about it, and I know what frustration is like waiting for updates on stories that you are desperate to know the ending for (George RR Martin *cough*). So this is just a tiny amount of the update. I am writing it as we speak and just wanted to get this tiny part up first because I know you are want to know what is happening.

I had almost forgotten how in love with this story I am. I re-read the whole series to get back into the writing "zone" and reading "Evasive Darkness" just made me cringe at how horrible it is. I hope this chapter is alright and Law School hasn't murdered my creativity along with my social life and ability to have fun. =)

Anyway, as I said I hope to have the end to this up shortly, I will write until sunrise as I have a whole day free tomorrow.

Thank you all for you're support.

Happy reading,

Lorrae =)

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Three**

_**Fire and Ice**_

_Some say the world will end in fire. _

_Some say in ice. _

_From what I've tasted of desire. _

_I hold with those who favour fire. _

_But if I had to perish twice,_

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction ice_

_Is also great_

_And would suffice._

_Robert Frost. _

I gripped the ground like at any second I might slide off the face of the earth. I dug my fingers deep into the earth and even though my finger nails began to ache and bleed I kept digging because it wasn't yet matching the pain in my chest. The forest around me was silent now.

I strained my eyes to hear something but it was almost as if the world had suddenly stopped moving, stopped being. The only thing I could here was my heart that was threatening to beat out of my chest. I tried to silence it with my mind, as it was surely going to give me away, if the vampire was still coming, if Embry...

I closed my eyes but all I could see was his face, frantically telling me to run. I tried to tell myself that his fear wasn't really there. I was just seeing it because I was afraid. But somehow tears were dripping onto my hands, buried in the dirt, and I didn't know why.

Nothing could beat the wolves. That's what Jacob always told me. The wolves were unbeatable. Embry was bulletproof. He couldn't be hurt. That cry must have been the vampire's.

Suddenly, the world seemed to come back to life and I heard the smallest crunch of leaves behind me. I closed my eyes tighter, knowing that this was it; this would be the moment that I die. What happens when you die in a dream? Do you die in real life as well? I squeezed my eyes together as tight as they would go, wishing myself away, wishing myself back a month ago, a year ago.

A cold hand grabbed my shoulder and I screamed. I screamed and I could hear how terrified it sounded, how agonised it sounded. I screamed and I waited for death.

But it never came.

Instead a wolf came.

I heard the growling before I opened my eyes, and the relief flooded me. Embry had come for me. I waited for the hand to be taken off me, as Embry would have dived on them and taken them out by now surely? But the hand remained on my shoulder and the wolf stopped growling.

I opened my eyes, slowly but I wasn't sure why I felt reluctant to, help was here now.

I expected to see Embry in front of me, all huge and brown and playful, but instead a smaller grey wolf was in front of me.

"Paul?" I asked, not moving, not even taking my hands out of the earth.

He do anything, just looked at me for a moment and made an odd whimpering noise in his throat, and then he left.

"Leighton?" said a warm voice in my ear, and I could tell now that it was Esme who was holding me. She delicately lifted me to my feet, and I could see pain in her golden eyes.

"Was Edward hurt?" I asked her with concern, as her face seemed to show a pain that I couldn't understand.

"No he's ok," She said quietly and she tenderly brushed my hair back behind my ear. "Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm Ok. Embry he ran away with me, but I'm ok?" I paused for a moment, hesitated on the question I didn't want to ask. "Why didn't Jacob come to me, just now when I screamed? If the pack is here he would have come to me." I took a breath. "Why didn't Embry?"

I could tell that Esme's heart was broken. "Jacob wants me to take you back to the house. Some of the others are there."

I felt my throat tighten, my lungs tighten.

"I want to go to Jacob," I told her, and she nodded.

"I'm really sorry Leighton," she said quietly, and I didn't want to listen to her, because I didn't want to know what she was sorry for.

We walked together, she didn't offer to carry me, or speed up the pace at all. I must have run a fair distance as the walk to Jacob seemed to take forever.

When I saw he I stopped being able to walk altogether, I leant against a tree and Esme seemed to realise that these were steps that I needed to take alone, as she disappeared from my side.

The whole pack was in the clearing. They were in human form; most of them were still completely undressed. I could see Collin; he was standing next to Seth who was kneeling on the ground, his head buried in his hands. Collin stood stoically next to him, his face emotionless and his hand resting on Seth's shoulder.

Sam was sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree, completely naked, tears streaming down his face. Jared was embracing Paul and I could see his convulsing but his crying was silent. Brady sat in wolf form, and I wasn't sure why, but his eyes showed that he wasn't really there at all, but somewhere else.

I noticed I couldn't see Leah.

And I was looking everywhere else because I couldn't quite look at Jacob, who was knelt over Embry's naked body, crying into his best friend's shoulder.

I waited for Embry to get up. I waited for him to growl at me how he always did, maybe tell me that I almost broke his back when he had to carry me. He was always telling me I ate more then was natural for a girl as small as me.

I walked over to him slowly and no one seemed to notice that I was there.

As I knelt down beside him, opposite Jacob, I could see the half moon crescent of blood on his chest over his heart. I leant down and I kissed it, remembering a moment when I was cutting carrots and cut my finger and he had put a plaster on it and kissed it better. I pulled away, feeling nauseous at the taste of his blood on my lips, warm and metallic tasting. I leant down and put my head on his shoulder, but he didn't wake up. I looked at his face. It wasn't even like he was sleeping, because I knew that he usually smiled in his sleep, and now he was expressionless, it was like he was just gone.

"Come back," I whispered into his ear, but he didn't move. He just lay there. I smelt his hair, and it smelt the same as always, dirty and like wet pine leaves. He couldn't be gone. I could still touch him, he was still the same. "Come back," I whispered again, as my tears dripped onto his shoulders, and I knew that he would hate that.

Finally, I sat back and pulled his hand into mine, clasping it like I had not one hour before. And the tears felt like they would drown me, and the sorrow felt like it would drown me. Because he was gone. I could feel it. I could feel it in his hands

Because before they were like fire, and now they were cold as ice.


	24. Chapter 23 Continued

Hi everyone.!

Sorry (again) for the lack of updates. I got weighed down with uni exams and life. But like I said last update, I still love this story and am bent on finishing it. I hope you do and are too. =)

I hope eveyone is well, its been so long since i've heard for you. Let me know how your lives have been going.

=)

I have included the little bit that I already wrote for this chapter.

Happy reading,

Lorrae.

P.s If you want to see some more of my work, I've been working slowly on my original fiction, and it's been posted up on fictionpress.

So the link is: (Don't forget to remove the spaces.)

fictionpress .com/s/2804210/1/Songbird

P.p.s. I think there is only one more chapter left in this one. =)

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Three**

_**Fire and Ice**_

_Some say the world will end in fire. _

_Some say in ice. _

_From what I've tasted of desire. _

_I hold with those who favour fire. _

_But if I had to perish twice,_

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction ice_

_Is also great_

_And would suffice._

_Robert Frost. _

I gripped the ground like at any second I might slide off the face of the earth. I dug my fingers deep into the earth and even though my finger nails began to ache and bleed I kept digging because it wasn't yet matching the pain in my chest. The forest around me was silent now.

I strained my eyes to hear something but it was almost as if the world had suddenly stopped moving, stopped being. The only thing I could here was my heart that was threatening to beat out of my chest. I tried to silence it with my mind, as it was surely going to give me away, if the vampire was still coming, if Embry...

I closed my eyes but all I could see was his face, frantically telling me to run. I tried to tell myself that his fear wasn't really there. I was just seeing it because I was afraid. But somehow tears were dripping onto my hands, buried in the dirt, and I didn't know why.

Nothing could beat the wolves. That's what Jacob always told me. The wolves were unbeatable. Embry was bulletproof. He couldn't be hurt. That cry must have been the vampire's.

Suddenly, the world seemed to come back to life and I heard the smallest crunch of leaves behind me. I closed my eyes tighter, knowing that this was it; this would be the moment that I die. What happens when you die in a dream? Do you die in real life as well? I squeezed my eyes together as tight as they would go, wishing myself away, wishing myself back a month ago, a year ago.

A cold hand grabbed my shoulder and I screamed. I screamed and I could hear how terrified it sounded, how agonised it sounded. I screamed and I waited for death.

But it never came.

Instead a wolf came.

I heard the growling before I opened my eyes, and the relief flooded me. Embry had come for me. I waited for the hand to be taken off me, as Embry would have dived on them and taken them out by now surely? But the hand remained on my shoulder and the wolf stopped growling.

I opened my eyes, slowly but I wasn't sure why I felt reluctant to, help was here now.

I expected to see Embry in front of me, all huge and brown and playful, but instead a smaller grey wolf was in front of me.

"Paul?" I asked, not moving, not even taking my hands out of the earth.

He do anything, just looked at me for a moment and made an odd whimpering noise in his throat, and then he left.

"Leighton?" said a warm voice in my ear, and I could tell now that it was Esme who was holding me. She delicately lifted me to my feet, and I could see pain in her golden eyes.

"Was Edward hurt?" I asked her with concern, as her face seemed to show a pain that I couldn't understand.

"No he's ok," She said quietly and she tenderly brushed my hair back behind my ear. "Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm Ok. Embry he ran away with me, but I'm ok?" I paused for a moment, hesitated on the question I didn't want to ask. "Why didn't Jacob come to me, just now when I screamed? If the pack is here he would have come to me." I took a breath. "Why didn't Embry?"

I could tell that Esme's heart was broken. "Jacob wants me to take you back to the house. Some of the others are there."

I felt my throat tighten, my lungs tighten.

"I want to go to Jacob," I told her, and she nodded.

"I'm really sorry Leighton," she said quietly, and I didn't want to listen to her, because I didn't want to know what she was sorry for.

We walked together, she didn't offer to carry me, or speed up the pace at all. I must have run a fair distance as the walk to Jacob seemed to take forever.

When I saw he I stopped being able to walk altogether, I leant against a tree and Esme seemed to realise that these were steps that I needed to take alone, as she disappeared from my side.

The whole pack was in the clearing. They were in human form; most of them were still completely undressed. I could see Collin; he was standing next to Seth who was kneeling on the ground, his head buried in his hands. Collin stood stoically next to him, his face emotionless and his hand resting on Seth's shoulder.

Sam was sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree, completely naked, tears streaming down his face. Jared was embracing Paul and I could see his convulsing but his crying was silent. Brady sat in wolf form, and I wasn't sure why, but his eyes showed that he wasn't really there at all, but somewhere else.

I noticed I couldn't see Leah.

And I was looking everywhere else because I couldn't quite look at Jacob, who was knelt over Embry's naked body, crying into his best friend's shoulder.

I waited for Embry to get up. I waited for him to growl at me how he always did, maybe tell me that I almost broke his back when he had to carry me. He was always telling me I ate more then was natural for a girl as small as me.

I walked over to him slowly and no one seemed to notice that I was there.

As I knelt down beside him, opposite Jacob, I could see the half moon crescent of blood on his chest over his heart. I leant down and I kissed it, remembering a moment when I was cutting carrots and cut my finger and he had put a plaster on it and kissed it better. I pulled away, feeling nauseous at the taste of his blood on my lips, warm and metallic tasting. I leant down and put my head on his shoulder, but he didn't wake up. I looked at his face. It wasn't even like he was sleeping, because I knew that he usually smiled in his sleep, and now he was expressionless, it was like he was just gone.

"Come back," I whispered into his ear, but he didn't move. He just lay there. I smelt his hair, and it smelt the same as always, dirty and like wet pine leaves. He couldn't be gone. I could still touch him, he was still the same. "Come back," I whispered again, as my tears dripped onto his shoulders, and I knew that he would hate that.

Finally, I sat back and pulled his hand into mine, clasping it like I had not one hour before. And the tears felt like they would drown me, and the sorrow felt like it would drown me. Because he was gone. And I could feel it. I could feel it in his hands. Because before they were like fire, and now they were cold as ice.

I'm not sure how long I sat next to Embry, sometimes watching him, and sometimes watching Jacob. I wanted to take every memory I had of being with Embry and put it into a place where I could never lose it, because it already felt like I was forgetting what his voice sounded like. And I felt guilty, because I was looking over Embry, and feeling relieved that Jacob was ok. I was feeling so relieved, and my heart felt like it was going to break from it.

Eventually, people started to move again. And Carlisle and Jasper came to us and they talked to Sam, and he started to move, and then Sam came over to Jacob and I could tell by the way he clenched his jaw that he didn't want to move.

"We have to take him home," Sam said, and Jacob nodded and he lent down and whispered something in Embry's ear. I couldn't hear it, but I found myself wondering how you say goodbye to someone who has been your friend for your whole life.

I looked at Embry again; his body unmoving, his face expressionless and empty and I tried to think of something to say to him. I wondered if he could even hear me at all. Jacob told me that the Quileutes believed that when they died their spirits still lived on, that they still guarded the tribe in both their human and wolf form. Embry could be standing by his pack right now. I leaned into Embry's ear and for a second let his smell engulf me.

"I love you," I whispered, so quietly that I was sure even the wolves with their superhuman hearing would be straining to hear me. And in that moment I knew that I really loved Embry, and letting myself feel it was almost as crushing as knowing that he would never really know it. I loved Embry, though not in the same way that I loved Jacob, not really in the same way I loved anyone. When he was around my world always felt lighter, like he somehow took the weight off my shoulders. I couldn't explain to anyone how I needed to have him around, not to kiss him, or be with him, but just _needed_ him to be there. And I thought for a moment that maybe he needed me to be around too, and maybe that was why he was gone but I was still here, when he could have easily just given me up.

"Leighton, come with me back to the house." I felt a soft, cold hand on my shoulder, and I felt Jasper begin to control my emotions, making me feel suddenly soothed.

"Jacob?" I protested, and he looked up from where he was roughly embracing Collin. His dark eyes, which I knew so well, suddenly felt foreign to me. Where they used to be full of energy, and light, they now seemed to be empty, like even his eyes were dipped in sadness.

"I'll be there soon. I just have to go find Leah." He told me, and quickly brushed his lips over my forehead and he disappeared into the trees. Even his lips felt a little colder.

"Someone will come and bring you back to the reservation in an hour or two," Sam said, slowly regaining his composure as the alpha male, none of the others seemed to be able to remember how to move yet. "There are a lot of things to organise," he said quietly. And I thought of all the people they had to tell, some will be told the truth and others a story to cover the truth. I wondered what story they would tell to the people who didn't know. How would they say he died?

"Ok," was all I was able to say, then "I'm sorry Sam."

Sam nodded gravely, though I doubted he knew the extent of how sorry I was. I was sorry that Embry died for me but I was also sorry that I ruined the way things were supposed to work out. I was so sorry for ruining everything.

"Leighton, let's go." Jasper carefully took my hand, and it felt unusual compared to Jacob's large warm hands. I could feel the scars that covered then, even though I couldn't see them.

As I numbly walked through the forest back to the Cullen's house, Jasper offered to carry me. Maybe he could see how exhausted I was, or maybe I was talking to long, but I refused him. I felt like I should walk back, that it would be wrong to be carried by someone when Embry had been the one to carry me the distance first.

At the Cullen's house I could see where the front door and porch had been destroyed by the Volturi. I looked at the steps for a moment, where Embry and I had just been stilling. How long ago was that? It could have been hours ago, or minutes ago. The steps could still be warm from Embry sitting there for hours as a wolf.

I tried not to think as I climbed them, but my legs still seemed to shake as I tried to pull myself up them. It was like I somehow weighed more then I did when I left them. Jasper didn't seem to be able to make me feel better, or maybe he wasn't trying to. It was my entire fault after all.

"Jasper!" Edward appeared at the destroyed door, his perfect face was etched with concern, the dark circles under his eyes seemed more prominent and he had lost his usual composure. "You have to help her. She won't move or talk to anyone. It's like she's just gone."

Jasper nodded slightly but didn't hurry me along. Edward suddenly looked at me like he was only just noticing that I was there.

"Leighton," he said, though his voice seemed to sound more pained.

"Who needs help?" I asked slowly, as I finally climbed the last step. I felt weaker then ever before.

"I think Jasper needs to help with Bella's emotions. I told her what happened, but she's reacted worse then I thought she would..."

I stopped listening as he continued to talk. Bella. Possibly the only person who has as much at stake as I did. Bella who loved the wolves as much as I did, who all of this was about in the first place. I had somehow forgotten about her, but here she was, feeling as much hurt as I was.

I hurried inside, somehow finding a reserve of strength I didn't know I had. She was sitting on the lounge alone, the rest of the Cullens were watching her tentatively from the kitchen, not too close but not far away either. Her face with red and her eyes were swollen and staring vacantly at the wall. Her face was expressionless, but somehow still pained.

I quickly walked to her and kneeled in front of her, feeling my eyes well up. At first it was like she didn't see me at all.

"Edward, leave me alone." She whispered, her voice thick as tears seemed to stream endlessly down her pale cheeks. I reached out and held her hands in mine and she must have noticed the warmth because her eyes locked with mine and she cried more. And I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks and they landed on our hands, but it felt a little better because Bella knew. She knew what it was feeling like.

"Leighton, I'm so sorry." She sobbed quietly, and I pulled her into a hug and cried harder, because it wasn't Bella's fault at all, it was mine.

"No, I'm sorry. It's all my fault." I sobbed, and it felt like I couldn't breathe. Saying it out loud seemed to make it truer. Embry is dead and it was my fault.

At this the room seemed to come to life, Alice rushed over to join in our hug, and Edward's frantic pacing seemed to stop as Bella came back to life. I felt the atmosphere in the room change slightly as Jasper sat on the lounge and calmed me down. Even though I didn't want to, I welcomed not having to feel so destroyed.

Slowly, everyone started to recount the day's events. Carlisle spoke of how the scent of Victoria took them past the planned clearing and further and further into the depth of the woods. Just when they were about to go back, the newborns attacked.

"The location of the attack wasn't anything special. It didn't put them at any advantage; in fact we took them all out easily." Carlisle explained, "This made me think that they just wanted to lead us away from something, or someone. So I told the wolves to let Edward know to be on the look out –"

"- But Victoria was already upon us anyway" Edward said, and I saw Bella shiver slightly in his arms.

"Easy kill, right?" Emmett chuckled, but then seemed to think better of laughing and it turned into a choking noise. Rosalie shot him a look of horror, which made me smile slightly.

Edward shook his head, and I got the message that he'd rather not talk about it, and I realised that I would rather not know anyway. There had been too much fighting today already.

"Jacob's here," Carlisle said gravely, and I turned to look out the window. Sure enough the Rabbit was slowly pulling into the front yard. I could see Jacob at the wheel.

I got up without saying a word, and no one followed me as I practically ran to the front yard.

"Jacob," I yelled, as he was just closing the door. His face seemed to light up a little as he saw me, though his eyes still seemed empty. I stop a metre away from him, now suddenly unsure of what to do. I wanted to make sure he was alright, first on the outside, by checking every inch of his body, and then I slowly wanted to heal him on the inside, if that was even possible.

Embry was dead, and I felt like the weight of it would crush me, but Jacob was still here, and I was seeing him like I hadn't seen him before. He was beautiful, and he was hurting, so I was hurting too. I wanted to love him, and I wanted to never leave him again.

Jacob covered the distance between us in a step, and in a second I was in his arms, lifted off the ground by his embrace. I felt him nuzzle into my neck and breathe me in. I felt his heart pounding in his chest against mine.

"Jake –" I whispered, and he pulled me back so he could look at my face. His eyes were wet.

"It's not your fault," He told me before I could speak. His voice was thick, but determined. "This was not your fault."

"But he was trying to save me" I choked.

"This is what we do, Leighton. Embry," he paused for a second at his name. "Embry knew what he was doing."

"But you didn't chose to be like this," I whispered, and Jacob softly lifted my head so I was looking at him. His face was set and his eyes suddenly missed.

"He still had a choice Leighton. And he chose himself instead of you. I wish he didn't have to, I wish we had seen it coming and I wish it was me instead. But we can't change it. So just appreciate it. I know I do."

And he kissed me, and it was like he never wanted our lips to part. It was like he was pushing all his loss and hope into me, and I felt it all.

"I just have to say one thing." He said, reluctantly pulling apart as our kisses got more furious.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"I love you. I love you more then anything and I want to be with you forever and I want you to want to be with me forever. Promise me you won't run away anymore, that whatever happens from now on we'll deal with it together."

He looked at me intently and I knew he was thinking about how things had been between us for the past few months. Maybe he somehow knew that I had been fighting us, because I didn't know if this was real, if anything was real. But now it was like the doubt had gone, Embry took the doubt away with him. This had to be real, I couldn't explain how, but I felt things here that I had never felt in my ordinary life. It had to be real. Somehow I couldn't doubt it anymore.

"I'm right here," I whispered, resting my forehead on his and knotting my fingers in his hair. "I love you, and I won't be going anywhere."

"Good," he whispered, and kissed me again. My chest felt like it would explode.

Embry was dead, and I felt like the weight of it would crush me, but Jacob was still here and I loved him. I loved him.


	25. Chapter 24

There's not really much I can say about why this hasn't been updated in such a very long time. I guess I've been a little lost for what feels like forever. I started to through myself into my degree and as my writing time dwindled I thought that it was ok because I was working towards something that would bring me satisfaction in my life. Needless to say, it didn't. And every day I started to feel more and more like something was missing. I thought that if I wasn't writing something that I could one day make a career out of, then there wasn't much point. (My mum places a high worth on 'careers'). But I've continued to get your reviews and each time I read a new one it kept me going for a little longer. So I want to make some time for writing again. I guess this is me trying to get that little, but important, bit of myself back again. I'm not sure if I can get Leighton's voice back again. As I'm older and she's older. But I still have my ideas for the last book. And they were great/huge/heartbreaking ideas. But first I had to finish this one off. So here it is. My trial at being back. I hope it brings you all some closure. Thanks for all your support. I'm truely sorry for letting you all down.

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**Chapter 24.**

"_she just feels like there's something she needs to protect. Some larval understanding, something cocooned inside her, that seems to get unspun and exploded with each passing year…that's the way to do it, the grown up voices whisper. Wear your skeleton on the inside out, and keep your insect heart secret."_

— Karen Russell, St. Lucy's Home For Girls Raised By Wolves

I touched my hand lightly to Jacob's chest, feeling rise and fall with every breath he took. His warmth flowed up arm and somehow dulled the ache in my chest. The past week had taken its toll on him. The fighting and then the aftermath hadn't given anyone much reason to smile lately. The funeral was particularly hard. The Quileute's had given Embry a traditional farewell and it was as heartbreaking as it was beautiful.

But now as he slept he seemed peaceful, the frown lines that seemed to be becoming a constant part of his face had disappeared, and after endless sleepless nights and nightmares he had finally slept right through to morning.

I knew more than anyone that there could never be a timeline for grieving. There wasn't a particular time when it suddenly got easier to get out of bed, or when it felt ok to laugh again. Not when you lost someone this close to you. Not when they were as special as Embry.

But without any thoughts of Victoria or threats from vampires things had been quiet. Things were feeling closer to normal.

I slowly took my hand of Jacob's chest and carefully pulled back the sheets, trying to be careful not to wake him as I slid out of bed. As soon as my back was turned I felt a strong hand on my wrist holding me back.

"Where are you going?" Jacob mumbled, he didn't open his eyes, but I could see the playful smile on his lips.

"No where?" I smiled, and Jacob pulled the sheets back up, right over our head – creating a tent of blankets. He rolled over and kissed my nose in the dark.

"How about Hawaii?"

I frowned at him in the dark. "What are you talking about?"

"Hawaii. It's a state of America. It's out in the ocean somewhere. A tropical island paradise."

I could see his goofy smile in the dark and it felt like being reunited with an old friend.

"I know what Hawaii is." I laughed. "I wanted to know why you were talking about it."

"You were planning a holiday there. Before –" He stumbled for a second.

_Before Embry was killed._ The thought hung between us like a veil of sadness.

"-everything happened." He continued. "I saw the trip planner on the fridge. It leaves in a few days. I we should still go."

That idea seemed like a thousand years ago. It belonged to a different world. A world with Embry in it.

"I don't think so Jacob –" I started but he cut me off with a kiss.

"I wasn't asking you," he laughed. "We should still go. So we're going."

"Jake," I groaned. "There's so much to still organize. We have things to do here. We have commitments. You have to be with the pack. Someone has to look after Collin. Bella still needs my support."

I could see Jacob rolling his eyes.

"We don't have _commitments_" he laughed. "There's nothing going on around here anymore. I've already worked it out with Sam for us to have the time off. It will be fine sweetie."

He gently pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"I could use a holiday….." I mumbled, as Jacob lightly kissed down my neck.

"Mmmm," Jacob nodded his agreement without taking his lips from my skin.

"What did you mean by Sam is giving "us" time off?" I asked, as my fingers seemed to walk themselves across Jacob's body.

"Collin's coming too." He hesitated for a second. "and Seth…"

"What?" I stopped moving for a second.

"Sam wanted us to take them - they've taken everything really hard. Sam wants them to get out of Forks for bit but he wants them to go with someone responsible."

"You're not responsible," I laughed.

"I think he meant you," Jake smiled. "So is it ok?"

"It's ok," I sighed. I had so much more work to do now. "So much for a romantic getaway."

Jacob feigned shock. "It could still be romantic," He continued his path of kissing down my neck and for a moment I was overcome with my desire for him. His musky smell and warm body took me to another place. Where no one was missing, or gone, or lost. Where it was just us two, hidden in an ocean of blankets.

A few days went by quickly. I felt like I was always busy, calling someone or booking something. Jacob and the boys didn't help much with the arrangements. With all of the threats a distant memory Sam had taken all the pack off vampire duties and had them all hanging out together. They needed to establish themselves as a pack without Embry.

We were driving to Seattle. The car was loaded up with suitcases filled with bathing suits and summer clothes. I had to spend considerable amount of time convincing Seth that he did in fact need clothes. Jacob was driving and Collin and Seth were crammed into the back seat. We had driven less than two blocks when Collin started to complain.

"Are we there yet?" he winged as Seth burst into laughter, spitting the soda he had in his mouth. "My legs are cramping."

I joined in with their laughter, ignoring Collin's complaints, and it felt natural. It felt ok.

We were making a quick stop in at the Cullen's so that I could say goodbye to Bella. She had been the one helping me put together every detail of the trip and it felt good to spend some quality time with her again. Away from problems and danger.

Bella and Edward were waiting for me on the steps when I arrived. They were sitting in the exact same spot where Embry and I had sat. And for a second it took the wind from me, but I was expecting it too, since it did it every time I came back to the Cullens.

"Hi," Bella smiled as I got out of the car. She waved over to Jacob who was already trying to wrestle Seth in the back seat. "So you're finally going!"

I looked at her suspiciously. She looked happy. _Glowing _even. I looked over at Edward who also looked more glowing than usual, which was strange, considering it was a sunny day and he was sparkling in the sunlight.

"What's going on?" I asked as I pulled Bella into a friendly hug.

"Nothing!" she laughed, which made me even more suspicious.

I look back and forth between the two of them.

"We're –" Edward began, but he was cut off by Bella attempting to stand on his foot. Instead she tripped over his leg and began to fall down the steps before Edward straightened her up quickly.

"I'm not ready to tell anyone," she hissed at him through gritted teeth.

I raised an eyebrow at them. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Keep your secrets then. I'm going to Hawaii."

"Have fun." Bella smiled, but it looked painful.

"I will," I smiled. Bella looked at me with a pained expression. I gave her another quick hug and began down the stairs.

"Leighton!" Bella shouted after me when I half way to the car. I turned around. "Make sure you're back before my birthday."

"I will be," I laughed. I'd already told her that. We had a big mourning ceremony planned for the occasion.

"No, I mean, you need to be back for my wedding. I want you to be my maid of honor."

I smiled broadly.

"I'll be there. I promise."


End file.
